We all have our preferred characters to choose from when playing certain fighting games. Here are a few that I've fallen back on over the years. (At time of writing "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas comes on the playlist, naturally)
- Baraka - Mortal Kombat
Talk about bringing a knife to a fistfight. I love Baraka. I always have. Ever since I first saw him in Mortal Kombat II with his coy smile and arm blades I thought: He's the one. Basically, I was a little shite growing up and would look for anything I thought would give me the advantage to help me win a fight. Sure, you have a guy that is literally the God of Thunder and an undead ninja with harpoon guns hidden up his sleeves but unless you had foot-long swords extending from your wrists I wasn't interested.
Baraka is just one of thousands of loyal Tarkatan foot soldiers in Shao Khan's army. In all of his appearances, Baraka has never risen above the level of henchman. Having your realm conquered lowers your self-esteem somewhat, it seems. Personally, if I had swords coming out my arms, I would be my own boss in pretty short order. (I also wouldn't waste any money on BBQ skewers)
As you can probably guess, the majority of Baraka's attacks are close range and involve poking a few holes in a few body parts. His most prominent ranged attack has him run the blades together, shooting sparks at his opponent. (That move is for those of you who are cheap and enjoy pissing about) Of course, Mortal Kombat is famous for its Fatalities. Over the years, Baraka has performed some extremely questionable surgery practices, from the standard decapitation to full-on bisection of an opponent. (He also cares how thickly you like your ham sliced if that humanises him in any way)
Pros: Swords are better than fists; that smile
Cons: Holding hands with your beau can get messy; that smile
As you can probably guess, the majority of Baraka's attacks are close range and involve poking a few holes in a few body parts. His most prominent ranged attack has him run the blades together, shooting sparks at his opponent. (That move is for those of you who are cheap and enjoy pissing about) Of course, Mortal Kombat is famous for its Fatalities. Over the years, Baraka has performed some extremely questionable surgery practices, from the standard decapitation to full-on bisection of an opponent. (He also cares how thickly you like your ham sliced if that humanises him in any way)
Pros: Swords are better than fists; that smile
Cons: Holding hands with your beau can get messy; that smile
- Yoshimitsu - Tekken/Soul Calibur
How many people do you know can stab himself with his own sword and still win the fight? If your answer is more than one then you know some really messed up people. Yoshimitsu is portrayed, more often than not, as a "Robin Hood" figure in the Tekken and Soul Calibur franchises. Again, a fighter that's packing a blade in a martial arts competition. (I have a type, what can I say)
Yoshimitsu is in possession of a cursed sword, one that slowly kills its wielder unless it takes the lives of the impure of heart. As a result, he continually finds himself entering the King of Iron Fist Tournament in order to steal ill-gotten gains and take down corrupt individuals. He is the leader of the Manji Clan, a group of ninjas who are dedicated to fixing corruption and helping the "little guy". (Merry Men with Katanas is a show I'd watch) Over the various games, Yoshimitsu (who has been in Tekken since the very start) has come in many guises. From a traditional ninja, he's become one of the more unconventional looking characters in the series. Demon masks, insect armour making him look like a giant stag beetle (complete with wings) His most recent incarnation gives him an eerie red skull mask with numerous tentacles coming out the back. As he's never taken his mask off, it's rumoured that "Yoshimitsu" is, in fact, a title and not a name. This would be to create the illusion that Yoshimitsu is immortal and there will always be someone for villains to fear. (Kind of like Batman)
His sword-wielding hand is a robotic prosthetic. This allows him to spin the sword fast enough to fly about and attack his opponents from above. He's also quite partial to bouncing around on his sword like a pogo stick. (For when you get bored of walking, I guess)
Pros: Robs from the rich; gives to the poor; top bloke
Cons: Ugh, tentacles; could be Gary Glitter under that mask, you don't know
Yoshimitsu is in possession of a cursed sword, one that slowly kills its wielder unless it takes the lives of the impure of heart. As a result, he continually finds himself entering the King of Iron Fist Tournament in order to steal ill-gotten gains and take down corrupt individuals. He is the leader of the Manji Clan, a group of ninjas who are dedicated to fixing corruption and helping the "little guy". (Merry Men with Katanas is a show I'd watch) Over the various games, Yoshimitsu (who has been in Tekken since the very start) has come in many guises. From a traditional ninja, he's become one of the more unconventional looking characters in the series. Demon masks, insect armour making him look like a giant stag beetle (complete with wings) His most recent incarnation gives him an eerie red skull mask with numerous tentacles coming out the back. As he's never taken his mask off, it's rumoured that "Yoshimitsu" is, in fact, a title and not a name. This would be to create the illusion that Yoshimitsu is immortal and there will always be someone for villains to fear. (Kind of like Batman)
His sword-wielding hand is a robotic prosthetic. This allows him to spin the sword fast enough to fly about and attack his opponents from above. He's also quite partial to bouncing around on his sword like a pogo stick. (For when you get bored of walking, I guess)
Pros: Robs from the rich; gives to the poor; top bloke
Cons: Ugh, tentacles; could be Gary Glitter under that mask, you don't know
- Brad Wong - Dead or Alive
BRAD WONG, BITCHES! *ahem* Sorry. I built this list entirely around this guy. I have no idea what it is about the Zui Quan style of fighting that I find so appealing. Maybe it's the fact that you spend a lot of your time tumbling around like a drunkard, slapping and punching your way to a bleary victory. (Think Jackie Chan in The Legend of Drunken Master) The way that the fighter moves there body as if they are intoxicated, using momentum and weight of the body to parry blows and counter unexpectedly is mesmerising to watch.
A lot of Brad's attacks are delivered from a prone position, much like a lot of my hobbies so I feel I can relate to him on a more personal level. Like Yoshimitsu, there a few attacks that would seem to be to the detriment of the attacker. Lying down in the middle of a fight isn't the best move (in an actual, real-life fight) but in Dead or Alive this can open up a whole plethora of opportunities. You become harder to hit, for one, and Brad can easily spring up and become a cartoon-esque ball of fists and feet that'll pummel the strongest of opponents to a pulp.Unlike people who practice this martial art for real, Brad genuinely gets drunk. He's forever seeking out the best, fabled concoction to help him reach an enlightened state of understanding. (This has literally had him use the nose of a demon as an ingredient at one point) Some of his ending sequences have been super trippy as he imbibes on his latest creation, especially the one in DOA3.
Pros: He's buying; better than Tom Cruise at mixing a cocktail
Cons: You're getting him home; worse than Tom Cruise at flying a fighter jet (because he's drunk)
- Alisa - Tekken
Of course, there was going to be a robot on the list. Why break tradition? Alisa may look like a regular girl with metallic pink hair and a jetpack but she is so much more. She's a super-advanced android on a mission to... eh, it's Tekken, everyone's mission is pretty inconsistent unless your surname is Mishima. She zips around, pummeling her opponents while also caring deeply about the safety of her friends. What's not to love?
At first glance I wasn't that impressed with her, to be honest. Here we go, I thought, another "cute" anime girl who also happens to be a robot. That's not an overused trope. I mean, she is exactly that, but then you get to using her and she actually made Tekken fun again since the second game. One of her moves has you take off her head to chuck at her opponent, which then subsequently explodes after they catch it. I paused the game after I accidentally button-mashed that attack for the first time because I couldn't see the screen for laughing so hard. She also has chainsaws hidden in her wrists for an extra edge (no pun intended) in battle.
Pros: Free flights as long as you don't mind the "windswept and interesting" look; comes with a build in MP3 player
Cons: Again, holding hands with your beau can get messy; sight of a decapitated head not for the faint of heart
Just a wee list this week, I underestimated how much time I need to put into other projects. I'll have something a little more substantial next week. Looking at it, it's all just knives, robots and getting drunk. (Also known as "A Saturday Night") Please drink, stab and fight responsibly.
