GEEK THEORY PODCAST - The Golden Blascos

It's time to kick off the award season (whenever that actually is) with our own Geek Theory Podcast Golden Blascos! We've got awards for everything! Movies! Games! Music! Biscuits?! We even manage to get a guest appearance from Christmas Bane and dish out some more Glasgow Food Life. We've got it all. Hope you have a great New Year! Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Origin Characters, Do Not Steal

This week, Gavin takes you on a journey to the mid-80s at the speed of sound, Alex reveals his PhD in Horribleness and David just wants to pack up and Runaway. Then the usual sexy banter ensues. We make no apologies. Have a good festive whatever. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Apples and Origins

This Week, we are celebrating out 1st birthday! So in fine GTP tradition, we continue the trend of not staying focused, talk about food and generally insult each other. Dave really gets into character when talking about his favourite metal manipulator, Al gets emotional when he has to kill all his friends and Gavin is a corporate shill who really appreciates the dynasticism of Ubisoft's UbiArt Framework engine. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Long Live Benjamin Asher

This week, Alex gets sand everywhere, David raids some tombs and Gavin gets played from the very start. We also deliver a delicious slice of Glasgow Night Food. What is that? You're going to find out! In great detail. Like... so much detail. I literally shouted "STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD!" while editing. Alex also sings a Christmas song of his own making and we discuss future episode plans. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Reboot Camp

This week, we're talking about our favourite reboots. We've got everything covered, games, comics, movies and anime. Dave is in the Metroid Prime of his life, Al goes on a Bizzare Adventure and my picks get hijacked. It's good fun. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - SPT (Space People Transport)

We're back! Dave wants to one-hit everything for an easy life, Gavin reveals his master ability to sleep just about anywhere and Alex unveils his most powerful magic set yet. Then we go a bit off the rails, as per usual, and say the word "bone" an obscene amount of times. I wish I was joking. Enjoy. ;) 

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - High Definition Lego

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GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Tilted Edge Lords and Big the Cat in Space

This week, Dave wins while talking about Mass Effect, Alex teaches me what "tilted" means and I completely lose my mind and forget the definition of "companion". We basically become our own worst companions. Again. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - With Friends Like These...

This week Al, Dave and I get into our least favourite companions. I start of Strong with some Fallout chat, Alex hates how charming his teammates can be in Persona 3 and Dave really hates Jerry Smith. (A lot.) We also rename salt and pepper, explain what a square sausage should be and Alex rants about the proper use of Marmite in a tangential food discussion. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Here There Be Monsters

We hope you've covered the entrances with salt because we're back with our monster list of Top Monsters! This week Dave says Buu a lot like some sort of spooky ghost, Alex's emotions get the better of him when he misses the chance to see a Space Vampire and I reveal my darkest fear: a buff squid. We also give birth to a Frenchman. Don't believe me? There's only one way to prove me wrong. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Monster Mash

It's that time of year when people dress as Rule 34 of their favourite professions and characters. This week Al, Dave and I discuss our favourite monsters. We've got pocket-sized ones, we've got building-sized ones. We've got sexy Draculas and body horror, and this is only part one! There's even time to talk about The Great British Bake-Off. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Pipe Dreams Are Made of This

It's time to buckle in and listen to some more wild plans from Al, Dave and myself. This week, Alex fixes The Strain (to avoid spoilers, skip to the 30 min mark though I haven't seen it and now I kinda do...), I pave the way for Insomniac's future and Dave has another Netflix series to sell. (Seriously, Netflix, get on this) All that and more in this week's exciting episode. Enjoy! ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - The Pipe Dream Team Make Plans for the Big Screen

This week, Al, Dave and I are back with some more ideas from our "If we had more money and power than God" journal. We pitch movies with The Rock, long-awaited game sequels for Star Wars and a Netflix series that will encourage you to be "The very best". (Semi)-Original content, please someone who has the resources to do something with it, steal.

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Being Taught Everything We Know

We're back to finish what we started, just like our favourite mentors taught us. This week Alex, David and I discuss the benefits of being a triple-agent, coming back from obsolescence and questioning everything, even if it means exile.
I've tossed in a quick, spoiler-free review of Spider-Man as well as some other personal ramblings. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Straight Into A 24-Hit Combo

This week we're talking about out favourite mentors. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Like Laser Tag But For Realsies (But Also, Not)

It's the event of the morning, we brush off our favourite projectile weapons and let loose the dogs of war. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Requiescat de Pache

More death, with half the calories. We're back and we finish what we started. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - It's A Wonderful Death

We talk about our favourite deaths, it's more animated than you might expect. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - It Gets More Worster As Time Goes On

Bad games? We've played them. We've also finished some of them. We finish our conversation about them this week. (With minimal bloodshed) Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - It Was the Worst of Games, It Was the Blurst of Games

We're back and we mean business. The business of finishing bad games despite them not being very good, that is. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - And Now, Here They Are! The World's Wackiest Podcasters!

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Tank Beats EVERYTHING

We're back and despite us talking about our varied favourite vehicles, we manage to refrain from driving each other up the wall. Ha! Puns. Anyway, enjoy the show. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - There's No "I" In Team, But There Is A "Me"

We decend into madness this week as we relaunch the battle royale treatment upon what started off as a relatively polite conversation about Disney. Oh well, enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - The Dream Team Makes a Meme Seem Serene

What is that title? Who fucking knows. This week, we're all about making the dream work with this conversation about our favourite teams. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - We Were Made For Hating You

Time to finish what we started and expunge the last of this hate from our systems. (Also, race against the clock to finish the conversation before the sun explodes us) Enjoy. ;)
 

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - Can You Feel the Hate Tonight?

They say love and hate are two sides of the same coin. I say you've got some weird currency that somehow displays emotions on its sides. Hey. who am I to judge. This week, we love hating things. Enjoy. ;)

GEEK THEORY PODCAST - E3 Or Not E3? That Isn't A Question

Confused? You should be. This week, the three of us take E3 apart and take out the bits we like and throw the bits we didn't into the bin. (I'm looking at you, Black Ops 4) Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - Cashing In On Battle Royale

Well, everyone else seems to have a battle royale mode, so this week we pick a power and fight one another with it. (No podcasters were hurt during the recording of this show.)

PODCAST - The GTP E3 Prediction Hour

This week we make our best attempt to predict what will be on show at E3, despite the fact that basically everything has been leaked already. We also talk about what we would like to be surprised with, you know, like a significant other dropping heavy, unavoidable hints as to what they want for their anniversary. Enjoy. ;)
 

PODCAST - Guilt By Dissociation

Just when you thought three men and a microphone couldn't get any more incriminating,  BOOM, the second part of Al, Dave and I's guilty pleasure conversation is released. This week Dave and Al reveal some questionable music tastes, I try and track down the cast of Heroes and we lament the ironic death of God Mode. Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - Guilty As Charged

Shame, thy names are Alex, Dave and Gavin. I mean, we don't actually feel shame. More just nod at it when we pass it in the street, like a guy we know but we don't have much to talk about so if we stopped it would be generic greeting/questions before the awkward silence and the lame excuse to leave. We've all been there. Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - Not the Anti-Heroes You Need or Deserve

We're back and joined by Dave. We ramble, we laugh, we make memories I can't remember. Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - We Can Be Anti-Heroes, Just For One Day

Al and I are back (sorry, no Dave in this episode) to share who we think make for the best "bad boys of heroism". (Or "good boys of villainy"?) Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - Original Concepts (Please Do Steal)

Who's got that Friday feeling? (Unless you're seeing this post on any other day, then you might have an issue) Yup, it's time for Al, Dave and I to talk to you about how we can improve the world. Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - We're Not Asking Much... Just Infinite Money and Resources

This week we're dreaming big, we're opening up our scrapbooks and demanding that Hollywood and the games industry fulfil our every budget-defying whim! Kisses. ;)
 

REVIEW - Ni No Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom - I Just Can't Wait To Be King

Name: Ni No Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom
Developer: Level-5
Publisher: Bandai Namco Entertainment Japan, Level-5
Platforms: PlayStation 4(reviewed), PC
Release: 23/03/18

Here's a sequel to a game I loved I didn't think I would get. I played the original Ni No Kuni when it came out on PS3 purely because the marketing said: "Studio Ghibli" and "RPG" in the same sentence. (I'm a mark, what can I say?) The game I got was a hybrid of Final Fantasy world exploration with a Pokemon battle system, complete with monsters you caught and evolved. (If none of that strikes you as something that would interest you, fear not) Up until I got Ni No Kuni 2 myself, I read literally nothing about it. I went in expecting exactly what the previous game had laid out, with some added extras to keep people happy.

What I got was a combat system that had been completely revamped, instead opting for a more hands-on, free-flowing experience. As a party of three, you encounter groups of enemies. You then take control of one of the characters while the others are controlled by the computer. You can swap between them at any time and using each of the characters learned skills is as easy as holding R2 and pressing one of the face buttons. In my experience, most standard fights take between 10-30 seconds, and enemies are visible on the world map so if you want to avoid combat, you can just give them a wide berth. Avoiding fights isn't really the end of the world in terms of levelling up either. (As fights only take a matter of seconds, I've found that I avoid far fewer fights than I would in any other RPG I've played of late)
The story moves at a fair click if you keep with the main missions but there is plenty of side stuff to do that can earn you lots of both money and experience. (You'll know you're in trouble if where you're trying to go is covered with enemies with their names highlighted in red, steer clear) Getting a Game Over isn't that big a deal either, as the autosave feature is pretty liberal for a regular games standards, never mind an RPG. With that in mind, taking the occasional risk with a high-level boss creature isn't too daunting and can even be highly rewarding if you can pull off a victory.

In addition to the new combat system, there are also army battles that you can take part in. (I know, we've gone from "I choose you" to "Behold the glorious ranks of the Imperium" but it's cool, bear with me) Unlike regular combat, there are set places where you can take part in these battles, and more appear as you play through the game. Here, you move with a unit of up to four captains. Each captain has a squad of whatever type of unit they specialise in. (For instance, I've consistently used swords, spears, bows and rifles for most of my engagements) The three main close range units (sword, spears and hammers) operate in a rock/paper/scissors fashion, meaning it pays to check what kind of troops your enemy will have before going into the fight. (I've gotten the Game Over message most often because of these army battles purely because I haven't been paying attention to enemy level/troop type)
The level system for these fights is separate from the regular levels. So even if you are out there hacking down dragons in the time it takes to reheat soup, you'll have to work your way from battlefield novice to battle-scarred veteran separately. Not too much of a hassle and only a handful of these skirmishes are mandatory if you're not that into them.

Now for the smallest of small gripes before I get into what I considered the "crowning jewel" of this game. Throughout the game, you're given your main plot, "Help the Young King Build A New Kingdom After Tragedy", which is fantastic and keeps you going through the game with a purpose. Great! So what the hell is your problem, Gavin? Well, there is a sub-plot which directly ties into the title of the game, Revenant Kingdom. You'll be teased for hours on what this alludes to and are even given a glimpse here and there of the main antagonist, Doloran, who is trying to operate said kingdom. After 85 hours of gameplay, a lot of which went into the activity I'll talk about next, the only real exploration of this arc was in the last 2 hours of the game. You're given a massive exposition dump and a sudden backstory for Doloran that, if it had been dispersed throughout the game slightly more frequently, I feel it would have had a much larger impact on the player (in this case, me) when the final confrontation occurs. Like I've said, it's the smallest of issues, and I only feel I have the issue because I like the game as a whole so much. Just to clarify, I really like the story, just not the way it's told.

On to my absolute favourite part of the game. You get your own kingdom to build! (I may or may not have yelled a little when I found out this was in the game) About 10 hours into the game, which for a standard RPG is the intro sequence and the tutorial, you get given your own spit of land to build a brand new kingdom on. Here you can build a blacksmith and an armoury to research and create better weapons and armour. You can research ways to gain more experience in from fights and also skirmishes. You build resource farming facilities to gain basic materials to make weapons and healing items. I know. That sounds like a lot of work and the resource thing happens in real-time but it's actually really easy to use. (I would leave the game running in the background while I went to the shops of made my dinner as I knew when I went back the game would have something for me) For anyone who has played a real-time strategy game and built a base, this is that but without someone coming over and smashing it with a dreadnaught or something.
As the game progresses, you recruit more subjects to your kingdom which in turn allows you to expand and build more buildings. I can't express enough how satisfying I found this whole aspect of the game. (There may have been a maniacal laugh or two, not that I'm some evil overlord or something... ahem) Going out into the world and finding people to join you provides hours of sidequests, which admittedly leads to King Evan being used as everyone's personal Amazon/Deliveroo courier. Not a major hassle when all that really boils down to is "Go explore this beautiful game".

Would I recommend this game to you? If you're after a game that is not only a delight to look at but also has so many individual elements that make it one of the best RPGs I've played in years, then yes, this is a game for you. On the other hand, it's a real time real-time investment and it's also an RPG, if you have neither the time or a love for the genre, it's not going to do anything for you.

Available for around £40-£50, depending on how savvy a shopper you are. (I went totally insane and bought the £140 "King's Edition" because I'm a fucking lunatic, very happy with it though)

PODCAST - Universe, I'm The Chorus

That pun was painful and I make no apologies. Once again, we decide that we would rather live anywhere but our own universe and discuss some alternatives. Kisses. ;)

PODCAST - My Universe for an Inside Toilet

Oh yeah! Who's up for some universe hopping as Al, Dave and I talk about some of the best universes we can think of. Kisses. ;)

LIST - Do You Want To Play A Little Game?

Mini-games! Who doesn't love finding a distraction to occupy their time with while playing a game they're already playing to fill their time with? Not me! Here are a few games within games that have managed to take up a fair chunk of my final "game completion" time.

• Triple Triad - Final Fantasy VIII
  

In a game that's promising to be at least 80 hours of your life, you'd think you wouldn't need to include a highly addictive card game. Final Fantasy VIII is one of my favourite games in the series, and Triple Triad plays no small part in that.
The Rules: You are provided with a 3x3 square grid, within each empty space you and your opponent place a card. Each player has five cards each and a coin flip decides who goes first. When looking at the cards, you'll notice each of them have four numbers in the top left corners. These numbers indicate the "strength" of the corresponding sides, ranging from 1 (the lowest) to A (the highest). As an example, if I was going first, I would generally place my first card in a corner with high outward facing sides. This way, my opponent would have to place their card elsewhere, maybe showing a weak side I can exploit with my following card. The basic aim of the game is to "obtain" as many of your opponent's cards as possible before all the board spaces are used up.
That is the basic gist of the game. There are separate, regional rules depending who you're challenging and whereabouts in the world you are. This can affect anything from how many cards are won at the end of a game, whether or not you can see each other's cards during a match and even if you can pick your own hand before starting. ("Random" can be dangerous if you're given one of your rare cards with a bunch of duds because if you lose, your opponent will take the rare one without a second thought)
Losing isn't the end of the world, as any cards you lose can be won back. (Provided the computer wants to play with the card it just won from you) This is actually how you can obtain some of the rarer, more powerful cards in the game. (Adding a side-quest or two to a minigame in an already massive game with enough to do as it is)
Apparently, there's a physical copy of the game that only came out in Japan in 1999. Am I sad I'll never own it? Yes. Yes, I am.

• Fishing - Various (Zelda, Fable, FFXV)
  

Sometimes, when you've been out adventuring to the MAX, you just want to find a nice quiet spot, cast your line and BREAK ALL KNOWN FISHING RECORDS IN THE LAND! I've been fishing once in my life and I can tell you one thing: I truly suck at it. So I am eternally grateful to these games for providing me with a fishing environment in which I can thrive. (And not get soaked)
 The Rules: You attach bait (with the exception of Fable), you cast your line, you wait, you wait, you wa... *vibration* SHITE, REEL THAT SUCKER IN! Depending on the game, this can be as simple as pressing the button at the right time to a drawn out (and surprisingly tense) situation in which you inch your catch towards you. This is probably most prominent in Final Fantasy XV's fishing, where I've caught some genuine monsters after some serious struggles.
While in Fable, fishing is used to grab a few extra items, it can become quite a fun distraction in Zelda: Ocarina of Time and FFXV. (They even went as far to make a separate VR game for the FFXV fishing, though that's still not enough to get me hooked on VR... that pun was not intentional but I'm keeping it in because it's the pun I deserve)

• Gummy Ship - Kingdom Hearts
  

Like it or leave it, the Kingdom Hearts series knows how to provide some quality space shooty goodness. For those of you that haven't played the main games, this may come as a bit of a surprise.
The Rules: Flying between the different worlds in Kingdom Hearts isn't a simple case of "Pick Destination" and hit "Go". You have to put some hard graft into getting from A to B. So it acts like an on-rails shooter, though more along the lines of a 3D R-Types. At the start of the game, you'll be equipped with a simple booster for acceleration and one cannon to defend yourself. As you fight your way from planet to planet, you acquire pieces for your ship and can upgrade it to make it faster and more devastating. (Trust me when I say "devastating" isn't too strong a word) At the end of each journey, you are ranked on how well you did. A combination of how fast you got through the level, how many enemies you destroyed and if you managed to take down any special targets. (This is more of a feature in Kingdom Hearts 2) You can then be rewarded with special ship parts or even blueprints to build powerful ships.
I've mentioned it before, but when you get tired of saving the entire Disney universe by swinging a giant key around your head, it's really a lot of fun and blast some spaceships for a bit. By the end of the game, your ship has the potential to be ridiculous in its firepower capabilities, reducing everything in front of you to some pretty lights and a lot of space dust. It's everything I hoped No Man's Sky's space combat would be. I dreamed too big in that regard...

• Races - Various (GTA, Sleeping Dogs)
  

It may seem a bit of a strange inclusion to the list but I really like taking part in (probably illegal) street races in these games. (Despite having zero interest in cars or driving myself) I just like to jump into the sleekest looking luxury vehicle I can find (You know, the one that screams "Behold my micropenis" to any and all who'll listen), then tear up the streets with as much wild abandon that my limited skills will allow.
The Rules: Despite the setting generally being an "illegal" street race, it's frowned upon to open fire on the other competitors. I mean, there's only one way to test that theory and you can bet your golden spinning rims that I do. Getting a mission failed for blowing away a fellow racer is a little discouraging as it then means I have to rely on my knowledge of the map and my vague understanding of how a "handbrake turn" works. Most races come in the form of a checkpoint, circuit/A to B type track. Over the years, the checkpoints in these various games have become a bit more generous in what constitutes "passing" it, as we should all be familiar with the frustration of missing one by literal millimetres. The struggle is real.
In most cases, the prize will be some sweet cash money. Maybe a fancier Mid-Life Crisis Mobile. It's not really why I enjoy them though. As the crime simulators have become more sophisticated, so to have the driving controls. So now when I win a race it actually feels like I've played the game properly. As opposed to having manipulated the games dodgy physics to somehow hop my off-brand Lamborghini over a convenient wall. (Not that I've ever done that...)

• Slot Machines - Borderlands 2
  

Not really a minigame as such. I just really enjoy spending all my money on these things in Borderlands 2 while my friends get their shit together before the next mission. It's not the prizes or the brief excitement of having to run away when the reward slot produces a live grenade. I just like spending money like it doesn't matter, unlike real life.
The Rules: It's a slot machine, you put money in, you might get a prize out. I shouldn't have had to write this and shame on you for reading it. (That feeling you feel just now? It sustains me)
Yeah. A game of chance. No skill involved. Much like life. (Obviously, I don't actually feel that way, it just sounded pithy)

• Arenas - Ratchet & Clank
  

So, arenas in the Ratchet and Clank series are a long-running staple. You'll be introduced to the planet where the games are held with a mandatory match then more are opened up to you the more you play the game.
The Rules: Basically broken down into individual, themed contests, each battle has a gimmick that keeps the gameplay interesting and challenging. Maybe you can only use one weapon or the weapon randomly changes as you fight. Maybe you have to fight a butt load (technical term) of enemies only to be faced off against a massive boss battle at the end. Maybe the game won't tell you there's going to be 99 rounds in this particular battle and you only stuck the game on for a quick 10 minutes before you had to go out for dinner. You know, challenges. Whatever the case, I've rarely come across a match that I haven't had a lot of fun blowing away a ton of enemies with the insane arsenal you're given in this particular game series.
Arenas in the Ratchet & Clank games are super rewarding and fun. They even made a whole game out of the concept, Ratchet: Gladiator. Though that more or less proved the rule of "having too much of a good thing". (It's still a good game, just lacks most of what makes the other games better)

• Gwent - The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
  

In a game that's promising to be at least... Wait, this is familiar. Oh right, another massive RPG manages to slot in a highly addictive card game. I wasn't too hot on Gwent when I first encountered it, but that was mostly because I was really bad at it. (I'm not a fan of things I'm not good at. Please also see: Dancing, improvising and art) Then they introduce a whole new faction in the DLC and completely throw your game out the window. Seriously, Skellige faction, go suck a dick and die. (But also seriously, still love this card game)
The Rules: At its core, Gwent is an army building game. You build a deck that can crush any army that an opponent can throw at you. You can pick from the Scoia'tael (elves), Northern Realms (humans), Nilfgaard (other humans) or Monsters (eh, literally just monsters) Each of these factions come with their own unique play styles, bonuses and artworks. (I played pretty exclusively as Northern Realms) Simple enough, right? Unfortunately, no. Like I said, it took me a while to get into Gwent and while that was partly to do with having a whole load of nothing to play with to start off with, there are also various rules that can be exploited and general behaviour that can be manipulated to ensure a swift and crushing victory. (Can I remember them off the top of my head? No, it's been at least two years since I played a game of it) But know that they're there, and if I can pick them up and have fun with it, then you can as well.
Then, once your comfortable with everyone's play style, Projekt CD Red release some amazing DLC with some excellent gameplay and story. The price? Oh, just all victory forever against anyone who uses the Skellige faction. No biggie...

Well, I hope you enjoyed that little jaunt through the little games that make the bigger games better games. Haven't done a list in a while as I thought I was going to be able to cover most things with the podcast (Geek Theory Podcast, tell your friends) but apparently there are topics I've to keep to myself. So that's fine... see if I care. *cries for slightly longer than is appropriate for a grown adult to cry about his feeling being hurt* Ahem... Kisses. ;) 

PODCAST - Talkin' Ship Behind Your Back (A.K.A. Puns Are Hilarious)

Fear not, as far as I remember, there's one pun and it doesn't even involve the word "ship". (It's a lot worse yet I make no apologies) Al, Dave and I finish talking about our old navy days and all the ships we saw. Kisses. ;)

PODCAST - What A Load of Ship

This week Al, Dave and I get into what we think makes a good ship. Then we meander wildly because of our collective ADHD. You know, standard stuff. Enjoy. ;)

PODCAST - Wind in the Willows Appreciation Society

We all band together as a unit for our love of woodland creatures. For realsies! Lol jk, my co-hosts are the devil and I deserve them. Enjoy. ;)

RECOMMEND - Shadow of the Colossus - David and Goliaths

Name: Shadow of the Colossus
Developer: Team Ico, SIE Japan Studio, Bluepoint Games (Remake)
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Platforms: PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4
Release: 17/02/06 (Original), 07/02/18 (Remake)

I'm a sucker for a remake, remaster, rerelease and most other things that start with "re". (Except rent, not a fan) When I heard Shadow of the Colossus was getting a remake I knew straight away I would be buying it Day One. It had been a few years since I last played it on the HD Remaster for the PS3. (Yes, I've now bought this game three separate times, it's my money) Anyway, let's get on to why this game should be in your life, shall we?

First off, let's assume you've never played this before. If so, I'm jealous. As great an experience playing through Shadow of the Colossus again is, getting to play it for the first time is so much better. Meeting every one of the colossi for the first time will, or at least should, make you do that "mouth kind of ajar as you stare at something pretty amazing" thing. With the improved graphics of the remake, this effect is only amplified. The stunning scenery as you travel around the map, the grand and foreboding arenas where you face the titular colossi and the actual colossi themselves are absolutely amazing. My mouth still does the "thing", to be honest. (Followed by a massive smile/frown depending on how I remember the fight going the last time I faced them)

The game looks, from pictures and various videos, like your standard Zelda-esque romp through the wilderness, exploring caves and temples. That's kind of half right. You play as Wander, a young man on a quest to revive his lady love, Mono. Yes, you can do some exploring. There are a few items that can be collected to boost health and stamina. These are useful but not necessary for completing the game. I've actually taken the time to do a proper tour of the map with this playthrough, and I'm being completely blown away by what I missed/didn't properly appreciate the first time around. You start the game with the equipment you'll need for finishing it. Namely, your sword, your bow and your horse, Agro. This may sound a little limiting but fear not. There are items you can unlock that essentially act as powered up versions. They can be unlocked by fighting the bosses again in a "Time Attack" mode after you've completed the game. (Which is something you'll be wanting to do anyway, as some of these fights are serious fun)

Speaking of fighting, the main attraction of the game is the colossi, unsurprisingly. There isn't one that isn't initially terrifying as it either lumbers about, minding its own business or sits waiting, watching for you to make the first move. Each encounter presents a new challenge, like a big puzzle you need to climb all over and hope you don't die while doing so. Where are the weak points? How do you get to them? How does it attack and can you take advantage of it? There are multiple ways to take down most of them, or at least to get aboard them. Once you're on, then there's the struggle of staying on. This is where the stamina comes into play. While climbing (or holding on for dear life) your stamina bar depletes, once it runs out you fall to the ground. (Where you generally become vulnerable to becoming a stain on the sole of a giant foot) Even if you find yourself on a relatively flat surface on top of the colossus, it's not going to want you up there. Some will try to shake you off, others will attempt to grab you. (Imagine a guy, about an inch to two inches high, climbing all over you, trying to stab you. Not great) I've talked before about "edge of your seat" fights. Shadow of the Colossus was and continues to be the champion of tense combat, where one mistake can result can send you falling/flying/dying through the air. I Love It. Also, unlike a boss or monster from a regular game, winning a fight in this game doesn't fill you with the same sense of joy you would expect. (Seriously, play this game)

While this is a remake of a 12-year old game and a lot has been improved, there are a few aspects that fall a little short. Riding Agro at times can cause a bit of agro for the player. Sometimes the smallest rock in his way will make him stop dead or turn wildly. Getting the momentum back up for his gallop can then be a process that gets tiring to repeat over and over again over a short space of time. He can be fine in big open spaces, but try and ride through some woods or a tight ravine and it can seriously become a battle of attrition. Aside from that minor gripe (and I say "minor" as according to my stats, I did most of my travelling on foot), everything else seems the same or better.

This game is an absolute belter that is very much worth your time and money (About £25 if you shop smart) if you feel like travelling around a beautiful landscape and fighting massive, intimidating and tremendously haunting creatures.

God, this game.

Top 5.

There, I said it. Kisses. ;)

PODCAST - Adapt to Survive

Here we are again, talking about adaptations like we're cultured or something. Part 2 this week, the grand(ish) finale next week. Enjoy. ;)
 

REVIEW - Pinstripe - O Daughter, Where Art Thou?

Name: Pinstripe
Developer: Atmos Games
Publisher: Armour Games
Platforms: PC, Mac, PlayStation 4 (reviewed)
Release: 25/04/17 (PC & Mac), 13/02/18 (PS4)

I've seen this game floating about for a while now. On PC though, which is why I haven't gone near it until now. From the little that I had seen of it, I thought I was going to be treated to a classic platformer with some puzzles thrown in to keep it interesting. (It turns out being wrong isn't always bad)

You open with you (Ted) and your daughter (Bo) travelling on a train late at night through a snowstorm. Bo wants to go a look around so you follow her through the train, each carriage acting as a short yet efficient tutorial in basic jumping, switch pushing and timing. So far, so pleasant. After a short time, you come across a mysterious, smoking stranger. Now, I'm not one to be commenting on another person's appearance but this new guy looks creepy as hell, and his voice very much matches the face producing it. (Think Tim Curry as Hexxus in Ferngully, but much worse) The man takes a very keen interest in Bo, going as far as offering her a balloon. (As if the first Tim Curry reference wasn't enough) As her father, you are given a couple of dialogue choices, one nice, one not so much. These are a thing in the game that doesn't really affect the story to any great degree, but choices have consequences. Chaos ensues when Bo runs off without you and it turns out the stranger, the titular Pinstripe, has kidnapped her. A call to adventure if ever there was one. Then the train crashes...

What follows is a game short enough to finish in one sitting easily. This is in no way a bad thing, however. If you're like me you'll not want to put the pad down until the credits start rolling and you've found out what kind of journey you've been on this whole time. As I've said, there are some light puzzling elements, mostly centred around using your trusty slingshot to hit switches, defeat enemies and generally just shoot stuff to see what will happen. I can't really think of a point the controls made any of these events unnecessarily tricky or frustrating, unlike a few games I've played of late. It all seemed to flow and escalate accordingly to the distance progressed through the game. Pinstripe is full of little secret spots that will reward the curious for playing about. Generally, you'll be rewarded with the currency of the game, frozen oil drops, that can be used to pay for various things. Some items are required, and therefore affordable in a single playthrough, others are clearly extra items that require a few playthroughs to get the dough for. (We'll get back to that)

While I've said that you use your slingshot to defeat enemies, combat isn't really a major concern in the game. Outside of the final boss, the only real adversary you have to face is the unsettling atmosphere and dark tones of the story. (Deep, I know) Every character you meet offers a glimpse into Ted's life, despite the fact that much like you, the player, Ted seems to be meeting them for the first time. This plays into the mystery of the game perfectly and was one of the reasons I couldn't put it down. Despite the dark tone and grim landscapes, the characters are actually quite funny. This is something that without, I probably would have had a few issues with the game. Mr Pinstripe, the antagonist, is especially enjoyable to interact with when he turns up to taunt Ted.

Getting back to the New Game Plus the game offers after the credits finish. This mode is an opportunity to collect more oil drops, on top of the ones you finished the game with, to purchase some of the extracurricular items on offer. I won't spoil what they are for two reasons. 1) Play this damn game yourself and 2) I haven't bought them yet anyway because I wanted to get this written up before I indulged in some gothic goodness again. Also, throughout the game, you'll come across (after some serious searching or dumb luck in my case) secret film strips, these unlock yet another mode and can be cashed in if you have five of them at the start of New Game Plus, so keep your eyes peeled. ( I currently have two)

Would I recommend this game to you? Yes, very much. This game caught me completely off guard. I picked it up thinking I would be in for a little light puzzling and a cheeky bit of platforming. What I got was a short, well-crafted, daunting story that has enough humour to make the journey more than worthwhile.

Currently, the Pinstripe is available on Steam for £7.14 and PlayStation Network for £11.59. (I bought it when it was on sale for under a tenner, but I think it's definitely worth your money if you decide to get it)

PODCAST - Adapt and Conquer

Part 1 of our conversation about our favourite adaptations. Enjoy. ;)

THE LORE YOU KNOW - Metroid

I've mentioned a few times over the last year of my love for "Metroidvania" type games. I've reviewed a few as well, holding them to the standard I've come to expect from both Metroid and Castlevania. (Unfair? Maybe. But if you're going to work with a winning formula, don't half-ass it) So today I thought I'd go into half of what makes that formula so great. Class is in session!

Original Concept: With the success of the side-scrolling platforming of Super Mario Bros. in 1985 and the free-form adventuring of The Legend of Zelda in early 1986, Nintendo wanted to combine the two winning elements to create a new franchise. Nintendo Research and Development 1 (R&D1) were given this task, the same team that was behind the making of Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros. and Tetris. This team included Gunpei Yokio, who was also credited with designing the original Game Boy. Satoru Okada, who created and published the original Game Boy and Makoto Kano, who wrote the original story and is also known for his work with Kid Icarus and Famicom Wars.

Unlike previous titles, however, Metroid was to be given a darker narrative. The music and sound effects, worked on by Hirokazu Tanaka, were to be used to create a tense atmosphere while fighting and exploring your way through an alien world. The word "Metroid" is a portmanteau of "metro" and "android", which alluded to the dark, underground environments you explored as the seemingly robot protagonist.
The combat, compared to jumping on turtles or hitting moblins with a sword, was also intensified with the use of missiles, bombs and lasers to take down all manner of weird and twisted aliens that would try and hinder your progress.

Debut: Metroid was released in Japan on August 6th, 1986, for the Famicom. (Over a year later on August 15th, 1987 in N.America and January 15th, 1988 in Europe for the NES) As this was the same year as The Legend of Zelda was released, it had to be distinctive in both design and tone as to differentiate from the already popular series. This was achieved by setting the player in space, fighting aliens and exploring the alien world of Zebes. (So quite a distance from the rolling fields and dense forests of Hyrule)

Set in a 2D, side-scrolling world, you take control of Samus Aran. Mysterious bounty hunter and fighter of Space Pirates. Raised by an alien race, now believed to be wiped out, known as the Chozo. You're on Zebes to find out what the Space Pirates are up to and why they've been capturing Metroids. (Aye, those things from the title of the game) This is the perfect set up for the entire series. At some stage or another, you'll be fighting Metroids or Space Pirates (or "other" but we'll get to them). Here you're introduced to a few series mainstays such as the Morph Ball, a mode Samus' suit can enter that results in the player becoming a ball, able to roll through small gaps and eventually lay bombs to further exploration. There's also the Screw Attack that allows you to reach further areas and damage enemies in the process. (Basically, Samus' Power Suit is the tits. If I was into massive shoulder pads, I'd have one)
There are also various characters and organisations introduced that stand the test of time here. The Federation, for which Samus finds employment, is attacked and are the people that send Samus to investigate Zebes in the first place. Then there are the attackers, the Space Pirates. Native to Zebes, these guys aren't the sort you'll find sailing around space drinking space grog and singing space shanties. (In space, no one can hear you sing space shanties) They're ruthless and unyielding in their quest to plunder and conquer the galaxy. Their leader is the fearsome Mother Brain. (If you've never seen her, her name does her justice) The mastermind behind the Space Pirates operations from Zebes, it's she that orders the capture of the life-force draining Metroids to develop super weapons. (The brains of the outfit, you could say. But I won't. Because that's tacky) Last, but definitely by no means least, is Ridley. Space Dragon and Commander of the Space Pirates. This guy proves to be more difficult to kill than a concept. Responsible for the death of Samus' parents, he is defacto Arch-Nemesis for the series. (Plus, Space Dragon. You wouldn't scrap that idea after one game)

A lot of the design for the game was inspired by H. R. Giger's work and also Ridley Scott's 1979 "Alien". The character of Ridley is even named after the director. The game became popular with speedrunners as the ending you received depended on how fast you finished it. Like with Zelda, if you entered certain passwords, you unlocked various rewards. NARPAS SWORD gives you unlimited health and ammo, all the abilities and a powered up ice-beam. JUSTIN BAILEY allowed you to play the game in Samus' Zero Suit, the fetching blue onesy worn under the Power Suit. The last code was also a good way to discover Samus was, in fact, a woman. Something that wasn't revealed unless you finished the game fast enough.

Sequels and Innovations: November 1991. Metroid II: Return of Samus was released in North America for the original Game Boy. It was then released in January and May the following year in Japan and Europe respectively. This was the series first instalment on a handheld device and would prove to be an extremely popular addition. This time, you are solely fighting the titular Metroids. Each area you come across has a set amount of them that you must defeat in order to advance.

Certain additions are made to Samus' arsenal, such as the Spazer Laser Beam and Plasma Beam. One that splits into three and the other that allows you to fire through multiple enemies at once. There are also upgrades to the Morph Ball, like being able to jump and climb on walls and ceilings. As the game was in black and white on the Game Boy, the decision was made to make Samus' Power Suit and Varia Suit actually be shaped differently. (Originally, they could just change the colour in Metroid)
In 2017, Return of Samus was given the remake treatment with Metroid: Samus Returns. While the story stayed relatively unchanged, the graphics and controls were given a massive overhaul. Samus could now fire in any direction, she had access to new abilities that required a new Energy Bar to use. There were even additions from games that had been released after Return of Samus such as the Grapple Beam and Super Missiles. (Because who doesn't want Super Missiles?)
Widely regarded as a successful remake of a classic game, Samus Returns gives anyone who missed the opportunity to play Return of Samus on a handheld console the first time around. (Now with added extras)

March 1994. Super Metroid is released in Japan for the SNES. The game plays very similarly to in the original in that you're back on Zebes after Ridley kidnaps a baby Metroid that had been in your care. The Space Pirates have rebuilt and expanded there base there and even Mother Brain is back, dishing out the orders like it's 1986. Fear not, however, as Samus has access to more upgrades to get her through these tough situations. The Grapple Beam allows for swinging over massive gaps and for quickly traversing across rooms.

There's a Speed Booster for ramming into enemies and smashing through barriers. Then there are new jump boots that allow you jump higher and upgrade to let you jump infinitely. (Instantly disqualifying you from basketball, so I'm told) This is also the first 2D Metroid title that lets Samus fire in all directions while moving.
The HUD itself gets a new look as well. Health is displayed as a bar with units as opposed to a bare number. All your ammo is displayed at the top of the screen and most importantly, an automap is displayed in the top corner, showing where you've been and where you can potentially go. Save rooms are also introduced, where the player must get to in order to record their progress. These become a staple for the series and are a very popular feature in other Metroidvania games.

November 2002. (Over 8 years since Super Metroid) Metroid Fusion gets a worldwide release for the Game Boy Advance. (Though in Japan it's released in February the following year) However, November also saw the release of Metroid Prime worldwide for the Nintendo GameCube. (These were my first experience with the Metroid series)

Firstly, Fusion. The gameplay works a little differently with this instalment. It's more story driven for a start, as you are guided to "Navigation Rooms" in order to further the plot. While this doesn't eliminate the exploration aspect the series had been known for, it was noticeably more limiting initially. New enemies were introduced in the form of the X Parasite. The X has infected both the organic and mechanical on the space station you've found yourself on, including a clone of our old pal, Ridley. (I don't know why they were cloning him either, this is a Federation base) Even Samus is infected and this sets up the game's health and ammo replenishment system. By defeating enemies, they drop parasites that Samus can absorb, healing her and refilling her rockets. (It's sci-fi, shut up)
New abilities are also acquired this way by defeating bosses and absorbing their core. (A similar, though far more advanced, system is used in a set of Castlevania games. Much fun, highly recommend)
Now for Metroid Prime. It is the first foray away from the 2D sidescrolling the series had been known for and it was played from a first-person perspective. Prime is also the first game to explain why Samus mysteriously loses all her previously gained power-ups at the start of every game. (In this case, she get's hit with a massive explosion. Caused by Meta Ridley. Oh, you better believe he made it for the first 3D outing!)

True to form, you're given a massive world to explore. This time you're equipped with a scan visor that can be used to not only unlock devices and solve puzzles, but reveal lore about the Metroid universe that up until this point hs only been alluded to in game manuals and manga. (Yeah, there's a Metroid manga)
There are other unlockable visors that are used to see hidden enemies and objects. Combat is also helped with a new "lock-on" system. With the move to 3D, the combat could have suffered from the platform jumping and massive environments so the decision for lock-on was a very wise move. When going into the Morph Ball, the camera jumps to a third-person perspective, to make navigating these sections possible. Unlike previous games, where your beam upgrades stack and become more powerful, Prime gives you 4 that you can switch between. Each one useful for exploiting an enemies weakness.
Metroid Prime was given to Retro Studios, an American first-party developer and division of Nintendo. This was the first time that a Metroid game had, in any way, been developed outside of Japan. There was a link feature between Fusion and Prime that unlocked items in each with the use of the Game Boy Advance link cable. (A fun gimmick I tried in Prime to get the Fusion Suit)

February 2004. Metroid: Zero Mission is released for the Game Boy Avance. Essentially a remake of the original Metroid but with all the advancements the series had to offer thus far, such as the improved HUD and graphical capabilities. Though it did add new areas and mini-bosses as to keep the gameplay interesting for those who had played the original.
In November of the same year, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes was also released for GameCube. Much like the first Prime, Echoes is a massive, open-world, first-person shooter with an emphasis on puzzle solving and platforming.

The world, the planet Aether, is presented in two versions, a Light and a Dark. Both present different problems, such as Dark Aether's atmosphere actually damaging Samus over time until a specific suit upgrade is unlocked. This can make for a frustrating experience, and at times the combat in Echoes could feel a little cheap, but overall the puzzle solving element of the game was what pulled it through.
This was the first game to introduce Dark Samus as a villain, a creature borne from the previous Prime's final boss. While Dark Samus has no dialogue (except for some screaming) it was an excellent addition to Samus' rogue gallery.
Echoes also feature a multiplayer mode for some reason. It had deathmatch and a point collecting mode. (It wasn't great)

March 2006. Metroid Prime Hunters is released for the Nintendo DS. Once again 3D, first-person perspective. This time the lock-on system has been removed and replaced with the touch screen being used to aim. (I didn't play this one. It didn't sound too inspiring)
Like Echoes, it has a multiplayer mode, now with "chat" capabilities. (Still don't care)

August 2007. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is released as for Nintendo Wii. With the move onto the Wii comes the use of motion controls. (It's actually alright, Corruption was my favourite entry in the series) It ran with all the same beats as the previous Prime entries, though this time it gave you multiple worlds to explore, rather that one or two. Even more lore was crammed in and it brought back Space Pirates that had been missing from Echoes.
A new "Hyper Mode" was introduced, that powered up Samus' attacks at the cost of her health. Too much use of this mode would result in a non-standard Game Over, as Samus is consumed by the energy she's using to boost her power.
A new visor is also introduced that allows Samus to remotely control her ship. This can be to do anything from transporting a heavy cargo to delivering a devastating missile barrage. (You don't get Link unleashing missile barrages, just sayin')
In 2009, all three Prime games were bundled together in the Metroid Prime Trilogy for Wii. (So hopefully we'll see it appear on the Switch at some point)

August 2010. Metroid: Other M is released for the Wii. While being set in a 3D environment, it plays much differently from the Prime series. For a start, there is melee combat, with dodge capabilities. While aiming in first-person, you can't move. This means you have to continually switch between modes to get anything done. (Again, I didn't play this specific title. For all intents and purposes though, it looked really shite) Enemies no longer dropped power-ups for health and ammo, instead, Samus has to reach save points or using a "Concentration" technique. (This is Ninja Theory, and as much as I like their games, I don't like the sound of this one bit)
In addition to that, Samus starts the game with most of her upgrades available, but "agrees" that she shouldn't use them unless given permission by commanding officer. (I cry. My tears are very real right now)
After finishing the game, there's a Theatre Mode, where the player can watch all the in-game cutscenes as a film. Because why not...

August (again) 2016. Metroid Prime: Federation Force is released for the Nintendo 3DS. For the first time in 30 years, you don't actually play as Samus Aran. Instead, you are placed in the boots of one of four Federation Marines. Unlike previous attempts at multiplayer, this is a cooperative affair. As a team of up to four, you're sent to different planets to take part in missions. Before missions, you can set up your loadout for a much more strategic approach to the game that has been seen previously. (As opposed to just having what you would need and working with it)
A mode within the game, Blast Ball, offers players a chance to essentially play football in mech suits. (That would be the only way you could get me to play/watch a football match)


Metroid is a first-party franchise I feel doesn't get the love it deserves from Nintendo. I'm super excited for Metroid Prime 4. With that, Zelda and Mario I have obtained the Triforce of "Justification to Buy a Nintendo Console" for the first time in 16 years. Yay!