PLAY ME IRL - Bloodborne: The Card Game - Seven Pthumerian Queens

Over the New Year, I discovered something. Friendship is overrated when there are Blood Echoes on the line. Victory is more important than loyalty. Eh, I mean, when you're playing Bloodborne: The Card Game that is. (Please still be my friend)

The Aim of the game is for 3-5 players to get to the end of a Chalice Dungeon whilst accumulating the most Blood Echoes. (Points!) You earn points by hurting and killing monsters and boss creatures. There are various ways to earn bonus pieces by playing smart (if not a little dirty). While it can work out in your favour to play cooperatively, this is a competition, so getting the edge and striking the final blow on an enemy can be what makes or breaks your points total. Speaking of "breaking" your points total, much like in the video game of Bloodborne, you can die. (And you might do it a lot) If you are slain by a monster or another player, you lose all the points you haven't banked. This can be frustrating, especially if you've tried a gambit that hasn't paid off. There is a way to "bank" your Blood Echoes, though this comes with the penalty of not being able to attack for a turn, potentially losing out on a big payday.

Now can I recommend that if you're going to invite people round to play this game, you read the rules properly first? "Properly" doesn't consist of drinking a whiskey and having Arrested Development on in the background, while slowly falling asleep. (You know, as a hypothetical) My first game involved dishing out the required doodads to each player, then I sat there for a few beats, everyone staring expectantly. "Oh, right, yeah. How do we start?" *whips out the rule book* (This is bad game hosting, DO NOT REPLICATE) If you're as lucky as I am, your friends will be a lot smarter than you so hand the very simple rule book to them and let them fix any mistakes you've just made. (Thanks, guys)

To start, you choose one of five Final Boss cards. This will set up the Big Bad for the end of the adventure and will also give the Dungeon a unique rule. We played with Mergo's Wet Nurse, who gave each player back 1 health at the start of each round. (A rule that we only remembered at about halfway through the game, whoops) The other four Final Boss cards were less forgiving. One of which, Rom, The Vacuous Spider, would inflict perma-death on a player who died twice. (So yeah, slight degrees of difficulty) Next, you shuffle and pick seven monster cards and three Boss cards, give them a further shuffle and place them face down next to the Final Boss. These make up each of the floors that you and your fellow hunters have to fight through. Each player gets given five Hunter Starter cards (basically your core weapons and your Blood Echo banking card), a health dial to keep track of how badly you're doing and a Hunter Board each for keeping track of all the Blood Echoes and Trophy Tokens you accumulate. Finally, you shuffle and display the Upgrade cards. One for each available player, the rest get placed face down. These are a mix of powerful weapons, healing items, and tools that can be used to help you and potentially hinder the other players. Once done, reveal the first Monster and your set to go. (Yay, oh God, no)

Each round consists of 4-8 steps, depending on what cards are played. The aim of each round is to kill the Monster that you come up against. At the end of the round, if the monster hasn't been killed it escapes, robbing the players of additional Blood Echoes and Trophy Tokens. (Trophy Tokens are awarded to whichever Hunter lands the killing blow, these are traded in at the end of the game for bonus Blood Echoes) Bosses and Final Bosses don't run, however, so you just keep fighting until it dies.

1. Choose and Play Action Cards: First off, players must choose an action to take. This can range from attacking, Transforming their weapon, using an item or going to the Hunter's Dream to bank Blood Echoes. Most of everyone's first moves will be to attack. At the bottom of each weapon card is a number, this is the damage it will inflict. You are encouraged to talk to the other players about what you're planning on doing, you don't need to hide your hand from them. (Of course, you can lie. Strategic lying is a thing) 
2. Transform Weapons: You can use a Transform card (which is one of your Starter Cards) which essentially lets you stall for one step to see what other players actually play. The only downside to that this locks you into attacking, you can't bank points after stalling.
3. Resolve Instant Effects: If a Hunter has used an item or weapon with an "instant effect" (such as a healing potion), this is the point it works. Given what the next step is, a healing item can make or break your Blood Echo stockpile.
4. Monster Attacks: The Monster will always attack first. At the bottom of each Monster card is a coloured lantern symbol, indicating which of the damage dice to roll for its attack. (Either green, yellow or red) The green has two sides with 0, three with 1 and the highest damage is 2. Not bad odds though two of the 1 sides have a + indicating that the dice needs rolled again until it lands on a side that doesn't. (E.g. 1+1+0=2) The other two dice are less forgiving, each only has one 0 side each and having 3 and 4 as a standard level of damage. (Fun times agogo) Needless to say, this step can be devastating if you get some unlucky rolls as each attack hits all players. (Players in The Hunter's Dream take half damage, rounded down) If you are killed at this step, you can't attack the Monster.
5. Hunters Attack: Finally, you get to dish out what this beast was just laying down. (Assuming you survived the onslaught) The order of attack is clockwise, starting with whoever's turn it currently is. You can't miss attacking, whatever card you've played, you'll do the stated damage. (Unless another card has stated otherwise) The damage you do to the Monster is then rewarded to you as Blood Echoes, the player who lands the final hit will not only receive the Blood Echoes but also a Trophy Token. (Go you, ya big monster killing stud!)
6. Monster Escapes: Sometimes you're well-laid plans and attacks won't be enough to finish a Monster off. In this case, it will escape, taking with it all unclaimed Blood Echoes and the potential Trophy Tokens. Sad times. Even sadder times if it has an "If this Escapes" condition. This can range from doing damage to all Hunters to stealing unbanked Blood Echoes. (This game is not your friend)
7. The Hunter's Dream: Remember this place. Time for that to come into effect. If you used your action to come here, then there are a whole load of benefits. Firstly, you bank all your accumulated Blood Echoes. This means dying, other players items and Monsters can't touch them, they're yours for keeps. You get to reclaim all your used action cards. As this is the only way to get your weapons back it's recommended you do this every now and then if you want to earn any future Blood Echoes and not just stand there like a chump. You get to grab yourself a tasty new Upgrade from one of the ones on display. (You replenish the display ones only once every player has picked one up) Maybe most importantly of all, after banking your points, you reset your health back to full. Any player who entered the Dream by dying only get an Upgrade and the health replenishment. (Still, not a bad deal for essentially attacking a Monster with your face) The only real downside is you don't attack the Monster while here so you can't earn any Blood Echoes for this round. (Sad trombone)
8.  End of the Round: With the Monster dead (or having "done a runner") and everyone back from The Hunter's Dream it's time to collect yourselves before the madness ensues. Firstly, discard any of the action cards you used and display them is such a way that the other players can see them. (Again, for the purposes of being a sneaky bastard and formulating a "scheme") The player to your left becomes the next chump-in-charge for the next round, and they get to reveal the next Monster card. (Joy!)

That may look longwinded and confusing, but these rules were picked up relatively quickly at around 1 a.m. with most of us fueled by alcohol and Pringles. (The "Fuel of Champions", I'm told) These steps are repeated until all Monsters and Bosses are defeated and you're left with the Final Boss.

The encounter with work like the previous ones except for the obvious, you're going to have to deal a lot more damage to this guy before it bites the big one. The other big difference is every Hunter who even just deals damage to the Final Boss in the final round of attacks will be rewarded with Trophy Tokens, just to add extra incentive for one last push to victory. (Or one final stab in the back, depending on how much of a dick you want to be. There can only be one winner after all) Once defeated, all the players first count how many Blood Echoes they've banked, then how many they receive from Trophies, then lastly how many they have unbanked. If there is a tie, whichever play had banked the most, wins. Congratulations, you're the head honcho Hunter, everyone else is a stupid munter. (And presumably very pissed off at the sneaky shit you just pulled to win the game)

Having been the first time I've played it, with a bunch of other first-timers, there wasn't as much calculated douchebaggery as there could have been. (I think I was the only one to be guilty of that anyway. And it failed spectacularly. Karma exists) It was a fun experience, and with the right people, it can be a laugh. Basically what I'm saying is if I invite you round for some board games, you won't end the night hating me more than you already do.
(Sorry for the bad picks, my iPod wasn't making it easy to recover the photos I took)

PODCAST - Who is Your Baddie and What Does He Do?

GOTY 2017 - Persona 5 is Always Darkest Before the Horizon Zero Dawn

It's that magical time of year again. The time I think "Shit, what came out last year? What year is it anyway? It seems like ten thousand years ago since I played..." Of all the games I've managed to get through last year, two come to mind instantly as the contenders for my Game of the Year pick. One placing me in the shoes of one of gamings best protagonists to date as I fight and tame robot dinosaurs, Horizon Zero Dawn. The other, the latest in a JRPG series that until last year I hadn't even touched despite its 20-year history, Persona 5.

Let's start off with Horizon Zero Dawn. I wrote about it earlier in the year and pretty much became Guerilla Games PR department in the process. I Love this game. (Yes, with a capital "L") Given that whenever I pick up an open-world adventure game nowadays, I have a nagging feeling I'm about to get myself into about 6 hours of story and 40 hours of scouring a needlessly massive map in search of pointless tat. (I'm not naming names, Ubisoft, but I'm totally naming names) HZD has a massive map, it has collectables. What it does differently is it makes those collectables interesting and ties them into the world you are finding them in with flavour text. (And what delicious flavours they are)

My, what big razor grindy thingies you have

The combat is intense and challenging, with a few issues concerning the larger enemies hitboxes. I haven't played a game that has had me at the edge of my seat and tensed in almost every encounter since (and don't hate me for using it for reference) Dark Souls. The combination of using stealth and tactics, stalking and laying traps to ambush your prey. Then when you were rumbled, using brute force and the rope launcher like you were trying to knit a very cosy jumper over a very angry robot created such an enjoyable experience for me. While there were more than your fair share of enemies to fight, I never got bored just going for a runabout, taking down whatever got in my way. (Though you do tend to think twice when two Thunderjaws start taking a run at you) The way you're able to make one of the beasts your own was also an excellent feature of the game. Watching your robo-pet launch itself at an enemy was always an entertaining sight, especially if said robo-pet was five times larger than the target. (Or smaller, if you wanted to re-enact David and Goliath with robots)

Aloy, how I love thee, let me count the ways. She's the One. I may have said in the previous write-up for the game but I was blown away by how well written the game was, especially the character of Aloy. Briefly: having been raised outside of her tribe or any other major settlement she goes to become someone who doesn't take any stock in superstition or religion. She's a realist in a room full of dreamers. My favourite example of this is when she meets one of the people who worship the sun as God, the Carja. While the priest goes on about the Sun and His many blessings, Aloy stops him and asks why he assumes the Sun is a He. "I've never seen anything dangling from it." As this happens pretty early on in the game I knew I was in for some pretty brilliant observations from an outsider looking in. There was no character that didn't have there own unique personality, making interactions a far cry from the likes of Eldar Scrolls. (Even the most recent Mass Effect had problems keeping the player engaged enough in a conversation)

This is Nil, he likes to kill

Horizon Zero Dawn was the best 60-odd hours I spent running about a massive open-world last year. There are so few flaws and the fact that it's an original I.P. gives me hope that this can happen again. The Frozen Wilds, HDZ's expansion, adds another 10 hours to this game. It gives you a massive new area with lots of side quests and other missions to keep you exploring the beautiful environments. Have you ever wondered if you could win a fight with a bear? How about a robot bear? Did I mention it can freeze you with an ice beam? Because it can. So there's that new fun to contend with. From start to finish, The Frozen Wilds has reminded me exactly how much I loved this game. (Now that I've actually gotten round to playing it)

The "Complete" edition is now available and provides you with The Frozen Wilds and everything else you could possibly need for your adventures in dino-bot husbandry.

Next up is Persona 5. Until July of last year, I hadn't touched a Persona game. (I picked up Persona 4 Golden on the PlayStation Vita for pennies) Playing through that blew me away. I never thought I would enjoy life as a Japanese high schooler, nor did I think that a ragtag group of teenagers would make a competent murder-solving agency.

Persona 5 places you in the shoes of a high school student, (insert your name here), and you've just been falsely accused of assaulting a shady yet powerful individual. This earns you a transfer to a new school for a year of "rehabilitation". There, you're introduced to a whole parade of interesting characters. First up is Ryuji Sakamoto, a troubled teen whose reputation around the school is that of a troublemaker. Various teachers and other students comment that you shouldn't socialise with him if you are wanting to do well in school. (To Hell with those guys though) Next, you are introduced to Ann Takamaki. Despite her good looks, she feels isolated. This isolation leads her to an abusive and toxic relationship that eventually you, as the protagonist, find yourself intervening in. Together, with a talking cat called Morgana (Don't question it) you create the Phantom Thieves. A group dedicated to eradicating evil and corruption from society by stealing the hearts of those who would prey on the innocent. (It's less bloody than you would imagine, though not by much) All in all, the rag-tag group you put together to right societies wrongs include some of the best-written character arcs I've seen in an RPG. Describing them here would a) do them an injustice and b) spoil them for you discovering themselves. I'm at a stage where I feet I don't have enough time to interact with everyone and help them, which is no fault but my own and makes me want to dive straight back to the start of what is already at least an 80-hour experience.

Here are the freaks and geeks you'll be buddying up with

The game is a mix of a couple of genres. Part visual novel/part classic RPG. You'll spend a lot of time exploring areas of Tokyo, hanging out and bonding with your friends. Each of the characters you can create a "bond" with presents you with interesting back stories and personal dilemmas that you can delve into on a day-to-day basis. I know what you're thinking, I play video games to avoid people's backstories and personal dilemmas. You're right. So do I for the most part, but on the other hand, you find you won't be rewarded for prying into your friend and families personal problems like you will in Persona 5. This requires you to get involved in a bit of time management. Spending time with people takes time, studying takes time, improving your social stats takes time. You have to spend it all wisely as you never know what might be around the corner. (And you're only given an in-game year to get everything done)

The RPG aspects come in the form of Palaces. These are constructs created within peoples hearts when they have strong desires. As Phantom Thieves, you have to infiltrate these Palaces, secure a route to the Treasure Room and steal whatever lies within. Sounds simple enough, sure. Palaces are set up like your typical RPG dungeon, with enemies, locked doors and treasure chests. All of them are themed to whatever that specific person's desires are. The first Palace you infiltrate, the owner sees it as a castle in which he is the King and everyone else is his obedient subjects. Fighting your way through, with turn-based combat, you eventually meet with various sub-bosses and a final boss. Upon stealing the Treasure, the subject of the infiltration has a "change of heart" in the real world. Much like the "bonds" you create with your friends, these changes of heart can also be some of the best examples of writing I've seen from a JRPG in years. (Though Persona 4 also displayed some excellent scenarios)

Such anime, many waifu

Stylistically, Persona 5 is stunning. From the way the characters are drawn to the transition screen between combat and exploring, it is so sleek and sexy that it genuinely seems a crime that Atlus, the games developers, still have a "No Recording/Screenshots" policy on the game. (Hence no proper screenshots) 

The "Ultimate" edition is available now with a whole manner of different costumes for your characters to where. However, they don't really do much to add to the game unless you're really invested in the series as a whole so I would highly recommend the standard version. It's been on sale a couple of times and is very much worth the money if you're looking for an RPG with a lot of depth and challenge.

This is a tough choice. I've sunk a lot of hours into both of these games and of all the games I played last year they were easily my favourites. (Otherwise, what was the point in everything I just wrote, right?) While I've loved all of the time I've put into living as a Japanese teenager and all the emotion-alternating that that entails, true love wins the day. Horizon Zero Dawn introduced me to a world filled with collectables I didn't find tedious picking up, robot animals I could tame and the digital woman of my dreams. All presented in a post-apocalyptic environment that isn't the usual browns, greys and darker browns of your standard end-of-the-world scenario. If we can get another game of its ilk this early in the year again, that would be lovely. Just saying. (Also, these are both PS4 exclusive. I'm sorry, but more accurately, I'm not)

Winner

Horizon Zero Dawn