PODCAST - Episode 3: Number 2, There Can Only Be One

Confused? So am I. Enjoy, ya buch a jabronis!
 

PLAY ME IRL - Bloodborne: The Card Game - Seven Pthumerian Queens

Over the New Year, I discovered something. Friendship is overrated when there are Blood Echoes on the line. Victory is more important than loyalty. Eh, I mean, when you're playing Bloodborne: The Card Game that is. (Please still be my friend)

The Aim of the game is for 3-5 players to get to the end of a Chalice Dungeon whilst accumulating the most Blood Echoes. (Points!) You earn points by hurting and killing monsters and boss creatures. There are various ways to earn bonus pieces by playing smart (if not a little dirty). While it can work out in your favour to play cooperatively, this is a competition, so getting the edge and striking the final blow on an enemy can be what makes or breaks your points total. Speaking of "breaking" your points total, much like in the video game of Bloodborne, you can die. (And you might do it a lot) If you are slain by a monster or another player, you lose all the points you haven't banked. This can be frustrating, especially if you've tried a gambit that hasn't paid off. There is a way to "bank" your Blood Echoes, though this comes with the penalty of not being able to attack for a turn, potentially losing out on a big payday.

Now can I recommend that if you're going to invite people round to play this game, you read the rules properly first? "Properly" doesn't consist of drinking a whiskey and having Arrested Development on in the background, while slowly falling asleep. (You know, as a hypothetical) My first game involved dishing out the required doodads to each player, then I sat there for a few beats, everyone staring expectantly. "Oh, right, yeah. How do we start?" *whips out the rule book* (This is bad game hosting, DO NOT REPLICATE) If you're as lucky as I am, your friends will be a lot smarter than you so hand the very simple rule book to them and let them fix any mistakes you've just made. (Thanks, guys)

To start, you choose one of five Final Boss cards. This will set up the Big Bad for the end of the adventure and will also give the Dungeon a unique rule. We played with Mergo's Wet Nurse, who gave each player back 1 health at the start of each round. (A rule that we only remembered at about halfway through the game, whoops) The other four Final Boss cards were less forgiving. One of which, Rom, The Vacuous Spider, would inflict perma-death on a player who died twice. (So yeah, slight degrees of difficulty) Next, you shuffle and pick seven monster cards and three Boss cards, give them a further shuffle and place them face down next to the Final Boss. These make up each of the floors that you and your fellow hunters have to fight through. Each player gets given five Hunter Starter cards (basically your core weapons and your Blood Echo banking card), a health dial to keep track of how badly you're doing and a Hunter Board each for keeping track of all the Blood Echoes and Trophy Tokens you accumulate. Finally, you shuffle and display the Upgrade cards. One for each available player, the rest get placed face down. These are a mix of powerful weapons, healing items, and tools that can be used to help you and potentially hinder the other players. Once done, reveal the first Monster and your set to go. (Yay, oh God, no)

Each round consists of 4-8 steps, depending on what cards are played. The aim of each round is to kill the Monster that you come up against. At the end of the round, if the monster hasn't been killed it escapes, robbing the players of additional Blood Echoes and Trophy Tokens. (Trophy Tokens are awarded to whichever Hunter lands the killing blow, these are traded in at the end of the game for bonus Blood Echoes) Bosses and Final Bosses don't run, however, so you just keep fighting until it dies.

1. Choose and Play Action Cards: First off, players must choose an action to take. This can range from attacking, Transforming their weapon, using an item or going to the Hunter's Dream to bank Blood Echoes. Most of everyone's first moves will be to attack. At the bottom of each weapon card is a number, this is the damage it will inflict. You are encouraged to talk to the other players about what you're planning on doing, you don't need to hide your hand from them. (Of course, you can lie. Strategic lying is a thing) 
2. Transform Weapons: You can use a Transform card (which is one of your Starter Cards) which essentially lets you stall for one step to see what other players actually play. The only downside to that this locks you into attacking, you can't bank points after stalling.
3. Resolve Instant Effects: If a Hunter has used an item or weapon with an "instant effect" (such as a healing potion), this is the point it works. Given what the next step is, a healing item can make or break your Blood Echo stockpile.
4. Monster Attacks: The Monster will always attack first. At the bottom of each Monster card is a coloured lantern symbol, indicating which of the damage dice to roll for its attack. (Either green, yellow or red) The green has two sides with 0, three with 1 and the highest damage is 2. Not bad odds though two of the 1 sides have a + indicating that the dice needs rolled again until it lands on a side that doesn't. (E.g. 1+1+0=2) The other two dice are less forgiving, each only has one 0 side each and having 3 and 4 as a standard level of damage. (Fun times agogo) Needless to say, this step can be devastating if you get some unlucky rolls as each attack hits all players. (Players in The Hunter's Dream take half damage, rounded down) If you are killed at this step, you can't attack the Monster.
5. Hunters Attack: Finally, you get to dish out what this beast was just laying down. (Assuming you survived the onslaught) The order of attack is clockwise, starting with whoever's turn it currently is. You can't miss attacking, whatever card you've played, you'll do the stated damage. (Unless another card has stated otherwise) The damage you do to the Monster is then rewarded to you as Blood Echoes, the player who lands the final hit will not only receive the Blood Echoes but also a Trophy Token. (Go you, ya big monster killing stud!)
6. Monster Escapes: Sometimes you're well-laid plans and attacks won't be enough to finish a Monster off. In this case, it will escape, taking with it all unclaimed Blood Echoes and the potential Trophy Tokens. Sad times. Even sadder times if it has an "If this Escapes" condition. This can range from doing damage to all Hunters to stealing unbanked Blood Echoes. (This game is not your friend)
7. The Hunter's Dream: Remember this place. Time for that to come into effect. If you used your action to come here, then there are a whole load of benefits. Firstly, you bank all your accumulated Blood Echoes. This means dying, other players items and Monsters can't touch them, they're yours for keeps. You get to reclaim all your used action cards. As this is the only way to get your weapons back it's recommended you do this every now and then if you want to earn any future Blood Echoes and not just stand there like a chump. You get to grab yourself a tasty new Upgrade from one of the ones on display. (You replenish the display ones only once every player has picked one up) Maybe most importantly of all, after banking your points, you reset your health back to full. Any player who entered the Dream by dying only get an Upgrade and the health replenishment. (Still, not a bad deal for essentially attacking a Monster with your face) The only real downside is you don't attack the Monster while here so you can't earn any Blood Echoes for this round. (Sad trombone)
8.  End of the Round: With the Monster dead (or having "done a runner") and everyone back from The Hunter's Dream it's time to collect yourselves before the madness ensues. Firstly, discard any of the action cards you used and display them is such a way that the other players can see them. (Again, for the purposes of being a sneaky bastard and formulating a "scheme") The player to your left becomes the next chump-in-charge for the next round, and they get to reveal the next Monster card. (Joy!)

That may look longwinded and confusing, but these rules were picked up relatively quickly at around 1 a.m. with most of us fueled by alcohol and Pringles. (The "Fuel of Champions", I'm told) These steps are repeated until all Monsters and Bosses are defeated and you're left with the Final Boss.

The encounter with work like the previous ones except for the obvious, you're going to have to deal a lot more damage to this guy before it bites the big one. The other big difference is every Hunter who even just deals damage to the Final Boss in the final round of attacks will be rewarded with Trophy Tokens, just to add extra incentive for one last push to victory. (Or one final stab in the back, depending on how much of a dick you want to be. There can only be one winner after all) Once defeated, all the players first count how many Blood Echoes they've banked, then how many they receive from Trophies, then lastly how many they have unbanked. If there is a tie, whichever play had banked the most, wins. Congratulations, you're the head honcho Hunter, everyone else is a stupid munter. (And presumably very pissed off at the sneaky shit you just pulled to win the game)

Having been the first time I've played it, with a bunch of other first-timers, there wasn't as much calculated douchebaggery as there could have been. (I think I was the only one to be guilty of that anyway. And it failed spectacularly. Karma exists) It was a fun experience, and with the right people, it can be a laugh. Basically what I'm saying is if I invite you round for some board games, you won't end the night hating me more than you already do.
(Sorry for the bad picks, my iPod wasn't making it easy to recover the photos I took)

PODCAST - Who is Your Baddie and What Does He Do?

GOTY 2017 - Persona 5 is Always Darkest Before the Horizon Zero Dawn

It's that magical time of year again. The time I think "Shit, what came out last year? What year is it anyway? It seems like ten thousand years ago since I played..." Of all the games I've managed to get through last year, two come to mind instantly as the contenders for my Game of the Year pick. One placing me in the shoes of one of gamings best protagonists to date as I fight and tame robot dinosaurs, Horizon Zero Dawn. The other, the latest in a JRPG series that until last year I hadn't even touched despite its 20-year history, Persona 5.

Let's start off with Horizon Zero Dawn. I wrote about it earlier in the year and pretty much became Guerilla Games PR department in the process. I Love this game. (Yes, with a capital "L") Given that whenever I pick up an open-world adventure game nowadays, I have a nagging feeling I'm about to get myself into about 6 hours of story and 40 hours of scouring a needlessly massive map in search of pointless tat. (I'm not naming names, Ubisoft, but I'm totally naming names) HZD has a massive map, it has collectables. What it does differently is it makes those collectables interesting and ties them into the world you are finding them in with flavour text. (And what delicious flavours they are)

My, what big razor grindy thingies you have

The combat is intense and challenging, with a few issues concerning the larger enemies hitboxes. I haven't played a game that has had me at the edge of my seat and tensed in almost every encounter since (and don't hate me for using it for reference) Dark Souls. The combination of using stealth and tactics, stalking and laying traps to ambush your prey. Then when you were rumbled, using brute force and the rope launcher like you were trying to knit a very cosy jumper over a very angry robot created such an enjoyable experience for me. While there were more than your fair share of enemies to fight, I never got bored just going for a runabout, taking down whatever got in my way. (Though you do tend to think twice when two Thunderjaws start taking a run at you) The way you're able to make one of the beasts your own was also an excellent feature of the game. Watching your robo-pet launch itself at an enemy was always an entertaining sight, especially if said robo-pet was five times larger than the target. (Or smaller, if you wanted to re-enact David and Goliath with robots)

Aloy, how I love thee, let me count the ways. She's the One. I may have said in the previous write-up for the game but I was blown away by how well written the game was, especially the character of Aloy. Briefly: having been raised outside of her tribe or any other major settlement she goes to become someone who doesn't take any stock in superstition or religion. She's a realist in a room full of dreamers. My favourite example of this is when she meets one of the people who worship the sun as God, the Carja. While the priest goes on about the Sun and His many blessings, Aloy stops him and asks why he assumes the Sun is a He. "I've never seen anything dangling from it." As this happens pretty early on in the game I knew I was in for some pretty brilliant observations from an outsider looking in. There was no character that didn't have there own unique personality, making interactions a far cry from the likes of Eldar Scrolls. (Even the most recent Mass Effect had problems keeping the player engaged enough in a conversation)

This is Nil, he likes to kill

Horizon Zero Dawn was the best 60-odd hours I spent running about a massive open-world last year. There are so few flaws and the fact that it's an original I.P. gives me hope that this can happen again. The Frozen Wilds, HDZ's expansion, adds another 10 hours to this game. It gives you a massive new area with lots of side quests and other missions to keep you exploring the beautiful environments. Have you ever wondered if you could win a fight with a bear? How about a robot bear? Did I mention it can freeze you with an ice beam? Because it can. So there's that new fun to contend with. From start to finish, The Frozen Wilds has reminded me exactly how much I loved this game. (Now that I've actually gotten round to playing it)

The "Complete" edition is now available and provides you with The Frozen Wilds and everything else you could possibly need for your adventures in dino-bot husbandry.

Next up is Persona 5. Until July of last year, I hadn't touched a Persona game. (I picked up Persona 4 Golden on the PlayStation Vita for pennies) Playing through that blew me away. I never thought I would enjoy life as a Japanese high schooler, nor did I think that a ragtag group of teenagers would make a competent murder-solving agency.

Persona 5 places you in the shoes of a high school student, (insert your name here), and you've just been falsely accused of assaulting a shady yet powerful individual. This earns you a transfer to a new school for a year of "rehabilitation". There, you're introduced to a whole parade of interesting characters. First up is Ryuji Sakamoto, a troubled teen whose reputation around the school is that of a troublemaker. Various teachers and other students comment that you shouldn't socialise with him if you are wanting to do well in school. (To Hell with those guys though) Next, you are introduced to Ann Takamaki. Despite her good looks, she feels isolated. This isolation leads her to an abusive and toxic relationship that eventually you, as the protagonist, find yourself intervening in. Together, with a talking cat called Morgana (Don't question it) you create the Phantom Thieves. A group dedicated to eradicating evil and corruption from society by stealing the hearts of those who would prey on the innocent. (It's less bloody than you would imagine, though not by much) All in all, the rag-tag group you put together to right societies wrongs include some of the best-written character arcs I've seen in an RPG. Describing them here would a) do them an injustice and b) spoil them for you discovering themselves. I'm at a stage where I feet I don't have enough time to interact with everyone and help them, which is no fault but my own and makes me want to dive straight back to the start of what is already at least an 80-hour experience.

Here are the freaks and geeks you'll be buddying up with

The game is a mix of a couple of genres. Part visual novel/part classic RPG. You'll spend a lot of time exploring areas of Tokyo, hanging out and bonding with your friends. Each of the characters you can create a "bond" with presents you with interesting back stories and personal dilemmas that you can delve into on a day-to-day basis. I know what you're thinking, I play video games to avoid people's backstories and personal dilemmas. You're right. So do I for the most part, but on the other hand, you find you won't be rewarded for prying into your friend and families personal problems like you will in Persona 5. This requires you to get involved in a bit of time management. Spending time with people takes time, studying takes time, improving your social stats takes time. You have to spend it all wisely as you never know what might be around the corner. (And you're only given an in-game year to get everything done)

The RPG aspects come in the form of Palaces. These are constructs created within peoples hearts when they have strong desires. As Phantom Thieves, you have to infiltrate these Palaces, secure a route to the Treasure Room and steal whatever lies within. Sounds simple enough, sure. Palaces are set up like your typical RPG dungeon, with enemies, locked doors and treasure chests. All of them are themed to whatever that specific person's desires are. The first Palace you infiltrate, the owner sees it as a castle in which he is the King and everyone else is his obedient subjects. Fighting your way through, with turn-based combat, you eventually meet with various sub-bosses and a final boss. Upon stealing the Treasure, the subject of the infiltration has a "change of heart" in the real world. Much like the "bonds" you create with your friends, these changes of heart can also be some of the best examples of writing I've seen from a JRPG in years. (Though Persona 4 also displayed some excellent scenarios)

Such anime, many waifu

Stylistically, Persona 5 is stunning. From the way the characters are drawn to the transition screen between combat and exploring, it is so sleek and sexy that it genuinely seems a crime that Atlus, the games developers, still have a "No Recording/Screenshots" policy on the game. (Hence no proper screenshots) 

The "Ultimate" edition is available now with a whole manner of different costumes for your characters to where. However, they don't really do much to add to the game unless you're really invested in the series as a whole so I would highly recommend the standard version. It's been on sale a couple of times and is very much worth the money if you're looking for an RPG with a lot of depth and challenge.

This is a tough choice. I've sunk a lot of hours into both of these games and of all the games I played last year they were easily my favourites. (Otherwise, what was the point in everything I just wrote, right?) While I've loved all of the time I've put into living as a Japanese teenager and all the emotion-alternating that that entails, true love wins the day. Horizon Zero Dawn introduced me to a world filled with collectables I didn't find tedious picking up, robot animals I could tame and the digital woman of my dreams. All presented in a post-apocalyptic environment that isn't the usual browns, greys and darker browns of your standard end-of-the-world scenario. If we can get another game of its ilk this early in the year again, that would be lovely. Just saying. (Also, these are both PS4 exclusive. I'm sorry, but more accurately, I'm not)

Winner

Horizon Zero Dawn

LIST - Punching Above Their Weight

(There will be LOTS of swearing in this one, fair warning) (Seriously, I'm about to throw so much shade you'd think I'd bought all the lamps ever for ammunition) I could have made this a list of cheap-as-fuck final bosses of fighting games. I almost did. I refrained and only included a couple. But still, all of these guys are jerks of the highest order and I refuse to lose to any of them. (Unless I do, then the controller leaves my hands, at some velocity, through the nearest window)

• Maxi - Soul Calibur
  

This Elvis-looking motherfucker. Nunchucks! Everything about Maxi (pad) pisses me off. His shit-eating grin, his stupid clothes, his dumb attacks. He's a twerp. All his friends hate him. He even get's a Soul Edge version of nunchucks, meaning that deep down he's a scheming piece of shit. I would rather fight as a gimp with scissor hands than pick this guy.
Boohoo, he has a piece of Soul Edge inside him that eats away at his humanity and forces him to push his friends away in an effort to protect them. You know what, Maxi? You need to man up, brother, because if we all start playing the "I have a corrupted artefact lodged in my heart" Card, everyone goes home sad. Did you know he's also a pirate captain? Look at him! One pirate captain gets to look camp, and his name is Captain Jack Sparrow. This guy would get mutinied the split second he let his guard down. He doesn't deserve to captain a volleyball team nevermind a ship with an actual crew.
I could give him the benefit of the doubt. He lost his father to an abomination called Astaroth. Murdered right in front of him as a boy, so he was. On the other hand, walking about with a coat and no shirt qualifies you for zero sympathies for life. Also, no service.
Summary: Stupid weapon, dumb hair, no dress sense. May he be the only captain in history to go down without his ship.

• Heihachi Mishima - Tekken
  

Big daddy Heihachi, about the only thing fun about him is calling him big daddy Heihachi. Speaking of which, he is the worst father ever. Fun Fact: he threw his son, Kazuya, off a cliff after beating him in a fight. Kazuya was 5. (Recently, information has surfaced in Tekken 7 that Heihachi had good reason to do this, but for the purposes of my rant I will ignore such information)
As on again/off again head of the Mishima Zaibatsu (a global military superpower) Heihachi is no stranger to the shady goings-on. He hoards ridiculous amounts of wealth and holds The King of Iron Fist Tournaments to challenge fighters from around the world. (Though mostly to draw out members of his estranged family so he can beat the crap out of them) Canonically, he loses his own competition and loses control of his own company 4 times out of 5. He is a horribly sore loser, however.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room, or more accurately, on this guys head. I don't know who he's trying to impress with this inverse mohawk nonsense but it's... not a good look. There are a couple of suspect weaves in Tekken but this one is beyond "bold" and just comes across as trying too hard.
Summary: The worst father, a terrible businessman and in need of a new stylist because his current one is lying to him. In fact, that's the stylist he deserves.

• Kurtis Stryker - Mortal Kombat
  

Why? Just why? You already have two Special Forces officers with Sonya and Jaxx. (Jaxx even has metal arms) So when did it seem like a good idea to include some chump police officer who's most powerful attack is literally shotting his opponent with a GUN. Now, I grant you, some of the combatants in Mortal Kombat are a little lacking in sportsmanship, with the lasers and the arm blades and chest grenades. Why would you pick Stryker? He's just a guy with a baton and a gun. (And a badge but seriously, who cares at this point?) That's like going into a coffee shop and asking for a one-shot, decaf flat white. You're not only wasting my time, you're wasting your own as well.
Raiden (the God of Thunder) chose this guy along with the two previously mentioned SF members, a master martial artist and a ninja with ice powers to defend the Earth. I can only assume Stryker accidentally walked into the wrong room while Raiden had been pointing his finger in random directions and shouting "YOU"! Oh, and the mid-90s called, they want their backwards cap back you ridiculous douchebag.
Summary: Versus a troop of magical ninjas, cyborgs and mutants, why would you even with this guy? "Lol, I know, I want to be boring and pick Stryker!" - No one, ever.

• Alpha-152 - Dead or Alive
  

Right, first of all. What the fuck is up with putting a teleporting jelly lady in a fighting game that, up until that point, has been about martial arts and counter attacks? Who made this decision?! You are the real monster here, but the focus will have to fall upon old Alpha here.
I mean, evil DOATEC company is trying to create the ultimate fighter with the DNA of the worlds best fighters. That sounds reasonable, enter that badboy in any fighting competition and you've got a sure bet. Alpha is a bit of a loose cannon in this regard though. She literally just wants to destroy everything in her path. She acts like a child when you beat her by stamping her hands and screaming a lot. Not only that, you beat her fair and square and she just teleports away. Or she just gets back up like some sort of generic 80s horror villain.
Ugh, you know. I just remember her stage in DOA4. If you get slammed into the ground it does more damage because explosions. Because why not, eh? It's not like you have enough to deal with. Floating Tits McGee over here is happy to introduce you to the floor over and over again with overpowered grapples and throws that already take more than the average off your health bar. You fucking suck, lady!
Summary: The personality of a tepid glass of milk and she cheats And do you know something else? Only little boys are interested in your over-sexualised jiggle-physics, take your skank self down the road.

• Seth - Street Fighter
  

I'm not Steet Fighter's biggest fan at the best of times. I am truly horrendous at fighting games. As a result, given Street Fighter's super technical format, being bested by someone because they can coordinate their fingers into the correct sequence of button taps fills me with a white-hot rage. Though that rage is nothing in comparison to losing to this bald, albino, ying-yang having motherfucker. Oh, look at me, I'm a robot or a clone or an alien or something. No sir, you are a clown.
He comes from another school of combining the best fighting styles to create the "ultimate" technique. Be original, you can't be that much of a superbeing if you have to copy "lesser beings" to win a few rounds. I found myself playing Street Fighter for some reason a while ago and thought I had done a relatively alright job fighting my way through the roster. Then I get to this jabroni and suddenly it's all Oh sorry, I don't get phased by your attacks, here comes my combo that beats you in one go.
The story does have him repeatedly beaten by the likes of Ryu and Juri. Both of which come from opposite ends of the alignment table so it goes to show; Good or Evil, Seth is a bawbag.
Summary: Bugger this guy with a broken bottle. That's it.

So, this list has been an incredible vent for me. Fighting games really just bring out the worst in me. On the off chance I find myself button mashing for victory I will make these cretins the particular target of my ire. Now that that's out of my system, I feel the world just got a little brighter... oh, no. Someone just turned the hall light on, nevermind.

GUEST REVIEW - Tales from the Borderlands - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

'Ain't No Rest for the Wicked'
Article written 04/07/2017

An analytical review of 'Tales from the Borderlands' by Greg Barclay

This game is better than it has any right to be, I'm going to be as spoiler free as possible but if anything slips out then apologies.

Telltale Games formula and the Borderlands IP shouldn't mesh and yet it does. At no point does Telltale try to emulate the gameplay or formula that served as the backbone for the franchise’s first and second outing. Instead, they rely on the characters and world that was created to build an interesting narrative told throughout 5 episodes with an eclectic cast of characters, inspired choice of music and most a true sense of pathos.

Borderlands, a series mainly centred around running and gunning whilst collecting massive amounts of loot has never veered towards a story. The first entry in the series uses a narrative as window dressing for the gameplay. The sophomore entry within the series masterfully uses world building and character development to create a unique and interesting world but the gameplay always took centre stage. It was going to be a huge gamble making a game like this considering what Telltale had done before. Announced at the 2013 Video Games Awards it was one of the few genuinely surprising announcements of the night, something that was much needed considering Geoff Keighley and Joel McHale as hosts were dreadful and sandbagged the entire event.

Like any Telltale game since 2012's stellar 'The Walking Dead' the gameplay revolves around QTE-esque dialogue and action based situations.

Every now and again the player will be dropped into sections of gameplay in which you must walk around the given environment as either Fiona or Rhys (whoever is progressing the storyline at that point in time) and interact with objects and other characters with some genuinely humorous results.

This is standard 'point and click' fare from a developer whose team is largely comprised of LucasArts alumni.

The gameplay doesn't always hit its mark however, the Telltale engine is starting to show its age and hardware limitations with numerous visual glitches throughout. During my playthrough, they were but not limited to: Crashes, music dropping in and out, lack of sync between character models and voice acting, Fiona being trapped in front of a table requiring a restart of the game.

Additionally, the Telltale formula has never been amazing, to begin with, and this game is no exception regardless of how great it is. This may feel like an easy target for a studio that doesn't carry massive production values but it does bear mentioning.

So, what's the story? As mentioned earlier we're going to be as spoiler-free as possible here. The game is essentially about two very different people from two very different walks of life who handle situations in two very different manners. Rhys is a Hyperion (the franchises equivalent of The Empire from Star Wars meets Apple) desk jockey who idolises Borderlands 2's antagonist, Handsome Jack. After failing to receive a promotion and being demoted to janitor by his corporate rival, Hugo Vasquez voiced by the delightfully devilish Patrick Warburton, Rhys and his pencil pusher co-worker Vaughn flee to Pandora when they find out Vasquez is involved with a massive money deal involved with a 'Vault' (El Dorado for guns basically).

On the other end of all this is a petty thief, Fiona and her adopted sister Sasha. They've only ever known a life of hustle and petty crime. They two are after the same Vault as Rhys and Vaughn.

Fiona and Sasha must take part in an exchange of money which has been set up by their mentor/father figure, Felix.

When things come to a head our two parties comprised of Hyperion and thieves meet and must overcome their differences to find the vault one way or another. Loyalties and mettle are tested in what can be described as basic storytelling fair. Or if you're a sentimentalist or those guys who come up with tag-lines for movie posters: “The Adventure of a Lifetime”.

As mentioned earlier the game has amazing unexpected pathos. It's hard to imagine a game with mostly characters you've never met prior could elicit such a guttural emotional response from you as the player. Telltale has a knack for this and they continue this trend with some of the most genuinely funny, endearing, heartbreaking and for lack of a better term epic moments in gaming. Remember when the word “epic” wasn't just thrown around and it actually meant something large/grand in scope, almost godly? Yeah...

The voice acting is second to none with Laura Bailey, Troy Baker, Dameon Clarke and Patrick Warburton as Fiona, Rhys, Jack and Vasquez respectively knocking it out of the park. Other standouts include Ashley Johnson as the GORTYS and Raison Varner as Loader-Bot who's purposefully stunted and robotic delivery help provide great comedic relief when the player watches these two AI's interact.

Nolan North, Chris Hardwick and Erin Yvette tie everything together as supporting characters August, Vaughn and Sasha respectively.

A nice addition of fan service for long-term fans of Telltale's works is that the characters Finch & Kroeger are voiced by Dave Fennoy and Adam Harrington who previously played the leading roles in the last two Telltale games: 'The Walking Dead' and 'The Wolf Among Us'.

The choice of licensed music within each episode is used to perfection.

'Busy Earnin' by Jungle is used within the first episode to accompany a scene of Rhys and Vaugh arriving on Pandora. The song has a nonchalant attitude which is personified in our characters behaviour being used to juxtapose against the harsh unforgiving Badlands of Pandora.

Episode 2 provides Shawn Lee's 'Kiss the Sky' during the intro which sees a slow-motion sequence where our protagonists are caught up in a vehicular Rakkhide attack. The image of Fiona losing her grip as Rhys slowly falls out of the caravan whilst Vaughn is holding his leg as they tumble into the wasteland is a thing of pure beauty. Episode 3 (My personal favourite) brings about a road trip vibe to the series as we see a montage of our characters journey across the planet. A perfectly synced musical visual story is told to the audience. The progression of not only distance to the planet but the friendship and dynamics of the characters is conveyed to the audience. 'Pieces of the People We Used to Know' by The Rapture accompanies this scene. Episode 4 uses Twin Shadows 'Back to the Top' in an 'Armageddon'-esque parody that is as every bit cheesy and amazing as it sounds. The ending sequence of the episode includes a glitched out version of this track as the character Handsome Jack cackles in the background. Truly immense stuff.

Finally, episode 5 opens with James Blake's 'Retrograde' a dour track to fit the mood and ambience on screen. His haunting vocals echo across the screen as debris from a space station hurdles towards Pandora.

The finale concludes with First Aid Kit's 'My Silver Lining'. A road trip song if ever there was one. This ballad plays over the credit sequence, animations of the characters and events from the last five episodes are shown on the screen. The guitar and vocals give off connotations of the old west or route 66. In essence pure Americana, which is what Borderlands kind of is. Guns, Insanity and tolerating people who are different from you. The song leaves the player in an optimistic mood. If there is never a Season 2 or continuation in the main series of games then that is fine. The story is, for the most part, wrapped up in a nice wee package. Our characters achieved their goals and have come out stronger for it. Good has defeated evil (assuming you chose to save Jack which you totally should have because he's the best character in the franchise despite his villainous nature).

Another praise on the audio front for this game is the score by Jared Emerson-Johnson who has worked on the entirety of the Telltale games catalogue. His score for the game meshes well with the world and could be easily incorporated into the prior games without noticing any differences. The score sounds familiar in a good way and not in the sense that it sounds like Borderlands. His score resembles his prior works on the likes of Sam & Max, The Walking Dead, Wolf Among Us etc.

I can't tell if he's using similar audio beats and queues or equipment but it's a nostalgic/warm feeling of familiarity. His scores for The Walking Dead and Wolf Among Us served as the soundtrack to some of my most poignant, intense and heart-breaking moments as a gamer and this is no different.

The orchestral piece that plays over the menu for the game sounds rather out of place in the world established by the games, it is bombastic and cinematic. Eerily reminiscent of a Hans Zimmer track.

Regardless it is an impressive piece of music and despite the fact it doesn't click with the rest of the game it does inform the player that what they are about to play will be an epic adventure. Kudos to Jared Emerson-Johnson for this.  

Jesper Kyd who had previously worked on the Hitman and Assassins Creed franchise provides many of his works from the Borderlands 2 to be used to round out the soundtrack of the game. Hearing his works again is an absolute treat to the ears as it not only provides a healthy dose of nostalgia but it helps reinforce that this game is part of the larger Borderlands world and lore.

If you couldn't tell, I would firmly recommend this game to anyone with a current gen console or PC. That being said, it does help to play the previous games in the series first just to get a feel for the lore, setting and recurring characters/themes. You could jump into this right away having never played any of the other games in the franchise and enjoy it but that would be a massive disservice to the game. I'm annoyed I never played this game sooner as I’ve always been a fan of the Borderlands IP. The series has been out now for two and a half years and I only recently played it at the beginning of the year, what a fool I was. Paid £15 for it digitally too, not too shabby. That was until I found out the boxed copy with everything pre-installed on it was only £4 in my local GAME.

All I could think of in this moment of sheer and utter disappointment was Rhy's lament in the first episode of the series “Oh my god, who called in the whaaambulance?”

PODCAST - Geek Theory - Favourite Weapons

Hey guys, mind how I've been threatening you with a potential podcast for a while? Well, here it is. I apologise for the poor sound quality in places, a little issue with high ceilings that should be fixed for next time. Here are our (myself and Dave's) favourite melee weapons from videogames. I hope you enjoy. ;)