LIST - Punching Above Their Weight

(There will be LOTS of swearing in this one, fair warning) (Seriously, I'm about to throw so much shade you'd think I'd bought all the lamps ever for ammunition) I could have made this a list of cheap-as-fuck final bosses of fighting games. I almost did. I refrained and only included a couple. But still, all of these guys are jerks of the highest order and I refuse to lose to any of them. (Unless I do, then the controller leaves my hands, at some velocity, through the nearest window)

• Maxi - Soul Calibur
  

This Elvis-looking motherfucker. Nunchucks! Everything about Maxi (pad) pisses me off. His shit-eating grin, his stupid clothes, his dumb attacks. He's a twerp. All his friends hate him. He even get's a Soul Edge version of nunchucks, meaning that deep down he's a scheming piece of shit. I would rather fight as a gimp with scissor hands than pick this guy.
Boohoo, he has a piece of Soul Edge inside him that eats away at his humanity and forces him to push his friends away in an effort to protect them. You know what, Maxi? You need to man up, brother, because if we all start playing the "I have a corrupted artefact lodged in my heart" Card, everyone goes home sad. Did you know he's also a pirate captain? Look at him! One pirate captain gets to look camp, and his name is Captain Jack Sparrow. This guy would get mutinied the split second he let his guard down. He doesn't deserve to captain a volleyball team nevermind a ship with an actual crew.
I could give him the benefit of the doubt. He lost his father to an abomination called Astaroth. Murdered right in front of him as a boy, so he was. On the other hand, walking about with a coat and no shirt qualifies you for zero sympathies for life. Also, no service.
Summary: Stupid weapon, dumb hair, no dress sense. May he be the only captain in history to go down without his ship.

• Heihachi Mishima - Tekken
  

Big daddy Heihachi, about the only thing fun about him is calling him big daddy Heihachi. Speaking of which, he is the worst father ever. Fun Fact: he threw his son, Kazuya, off a cliff after beating him in a fight. Kazuya was 5. (Recently, information has surfaced in Tekken 7 that Heihachi had good reason to do this, but for the purposes of my rant I will ignore such information)
As on again/off again head of the Mishima Zaibatsu (a global military superpower) Heihachi is no stranger to the shady goings-on. He hoards ridiculous amounts of wealth and holds The King of Iron Fist Tournaments to challenge fighters from around the world. (Though mostly to draw out members of his estranged family so he can beat the crap out of them) Canonically, he loses his own competition and loses control of his own company 4 times out of 5. He is a horribly sore loser, however.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room, or more accurately, on this guys head. I don't know who he's trying to impress with this inverse mohawk nonsense but it's... not a good look. There are a couple of suspect weaves in Tekken but this one is beyond "bold" and just comes across as trying too hard.
Summary: The worst father, a terrible businessman and in need of a new stylist because his current one is lying to him. In fact, that's the stylist he deserves.

• Kurtis Stryker - Mortal Kombat
  

Why? Just why? You already have two Special Forces officers with Sonya and Jaxx. (Jaxx even has metal arms) So when did it seem like a good idea to include some chump police officer who's most powerful attack is literally shotting his opponent with a GUN. Now, I grant you, some of the combatants in Mortal Kombat are a little lacking in sportsmanship, with the lasers and the arm blades and chest grenades. Why would you pick Stryker? He's just a guy with a baton and a gun. (And a badge but seriously, who cares at this point?) That's like going into a coffee shop and asking for a one-shot, decaf flat white. You're not only wasting my time, you're wasting your own as well.
Raiden (the God of Thunder) chose this guy along with the two previously mentioned SF members, a master martial artist and a ninja with ice powers to defend the Earth. I can only assume Stryker accidentally walked into the wrong room while Raiden had been pointing his finger in random directions and shouting "YOU"! Oh, and the mid-90s called, they want their backwards cap back you ridiculous douchebag.
Summary: Versus a troop of magical ninjas, cyborgs and mutants, why would you even with this guy? "Lol, I know, I want to be boring and pick Stryker!" - No one, ever.

• Alpha-152 - Dead or Alive
  

Right, first of all. What the fuck is up with putting a teleporting jelly lady in a fighting game that, up until that point, has been about martial arts and counter attacks? Who made this decision?! You are the real monster here, but the focus will have to fall upon old Alpha here.
I mean, evil DOATEC company is trying to create the ultimate fighter with the DNA of the worlds best fighters. That sounds reasonable, enter that badboy in any fighting competition and you've got a sure bet. Alpha is a bit of a loose cannon in this regard though. She literally just wants to destroy everything in her path. She acts like a child when you beat her by stamping her hands and screaming a lot. Not only that, you beat her fair and square and she just teleports away. Or she just gets back up like some sort of generic 80s horror villain.
Ugh, you know. I just remember her stage in DOA4. If you get slammed into the ground it does more damage because explosions. Because why not, eh? It's not like you have enough to deal with. Floating Tits McGee over here is happy to introduce you to the floor over and over again with overpowered grapples and throws that already take more than the average off your health bar. You fucking suck, lady!
Summary: The personality of a tepid glass of milk and she cheats And do you know something else? Only little boys are interested in your over-sexualised jiggle-physics, take your skank self down the road.

• Seth - Street Fighter
  

I'm not Steet Fighter's biggest fan at the best of times. I am truly horrendous at fighting games. As a result, given Street Fighter's super technical format, being bested by someone because they can coordinate their fingers into the correct sequence of button taps fills me with a white-hot rage. Though that rage is nothing in comparison to losing to this bald, albino, ying-yang having motherfucker. Oh, look at me, I'm a robot or a clone or an alien or something. No sir, you are a clown.
He comes from another school of combining the best fighting styles to create the "ultimate" technique. Be original, you can't be that much of a superbeing if you have to copy "lesser beings" to win a few rounds. I found myself playing Street Fighter for some reason a while ago and thought I had done a relatively alright job fighting my way through the roster. Then I get to this jabroni and suddenly it's all Oh sorry, I don't get phased by your attacks, here comes my combo that beats you in one go.
The story does have him repeatedly beaten by the likes of Ryu and Juri. Both of which come from opposite ends of the alignment table so it goes to show; Good or Evil, Seth is a bawbag.
Summary: Bugger this guy with a broken bottle. That's it.

So, this list has been an incredible vent for me. Fighting games really just bring out the worst in me. On the off chance I find myself button mashing for victory I will make these cretins the particular target of my ire. Now that that's out of my system, I feel the world just got a little brighter... oh, no. Someone just turned the hall light on, nevermind.

GUEST REVIEW - Tales from the Borderlands - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

'Ain't No Rest for the Wicked'
Article written 04/07/2017

An analytical review of 'Tales from the Borderlands' by Greg Barclay

This game is better than it has any right to be, I'm going to be as spoiler free as possible but if anything slips out then apologies.

Telltale Games formula and the Borderlands IP shouldn't mesh and yet it does. At no point does Telltale try to emulate the gameplay or formula that served as the backbone for the franchise’s first and second outing. Instead, they rely on the characters and world that was created to build an interesting narrative told throughout 5 episodes with an eclectic cast of characters, inspired choice of music and most a true sense of pathos.

Borderlands, a series mainly centred around running and gunning whilst collecting massive amounts of loot has never veered towards a story. The first entry in the series uses a narrative as window dressing for the gameplay. The sophomore entry within the series masterfully uses world building and character development to create a unique and interesting world but the gameplay always took centre stage. It was going to be a huge gamble making a game like this considering what Telltale had done before. Announced at the 2013 Video Games Awards it was one of the few genuinely surprising announcements of the night, something that was much needed considering Geoff Keighley and Joel McHale as hosts were dreadful and sandbagged the entire event.

Like any Telltale game since 2012's stellar 'The Walking Dead' the gameplay revolves around QTE-esque dialogue and action based situations.

Every now and again the player will be dropped into sections of gameplay in which you must walk around the given environment as either Fiona or Rhys (whoever is progressing the storyline at that point in time) and interact with objects and other characters with some genuinely humorous results.

This is standard 'point and click' fare from a developer whose team is largely comprised of LucasArts alumni.

The gameplay doesn't always hit its mark however, the Telltale engine is starting to show its age and hardware limitations with numerous visual glitches throughout. During my playthrough, they were but not limited to: Crashes, music dropping in and out, lack of sync between character models and voice acting, Fiona being trapped in front of a table requiring a restart of the game.

Additionally, the Telltale formula has never been amazing, to begin with, and this game is no exception regardless of how great it is. This may feel like an easy target for a studio that doesn't carry massive production values but it does bear mentioning.

So, what's the story? As mentioned earlier we're going to be as spoiler-free as possible here. The game is essentially about two very different people from two very different walks of life who handle situations in two very different manners. Rhys is a Hyperion (the franchises equivalent of The Empire from Star Wars meets Apple) desk jockey who idolises Borderlands 2's antagonist, Handsome Jack. After failing to receive a promotion and being demoted to janitor by his corporate rival, Hugo Vasquez voiced by the delightfully devilish Patrick Warburton, Rhys and his pencil pusher co-worker Vaughn flee to Pandora when they find out Vasquez is involved with a massive money deal involved with a 'Vault' (El Dorado for guns basically).

On the other end of all this is a petty thief, Fiona and her adopted sister Sasha. They've only ever known a life of hustle and petty crime. They two are after the same Vault as Rhys and Vaughn.

Fiona and Sasha must take part in an exchange of money which has been set up by their mentor/father figure, Felix.

When things come to a head our two parties comprised of Hyperion and thieves meet and must overcome their differences to find the vault one way or another. Loyalties and mettle are tested in what can be described as basic storytelling fair. Or if you're a sentimentalist or those guys who come up with tag-lines for movie posters: “The Adventure of a Lifetime”.

As mentioned earlier the game has amazing unexpected pathos. It's hard to imagine a game with mostly characters you've never met prior could elicit such a guttural emotional response from you as the player. Telltale has a knack for this and they continue this trend with some of the most genuinely funny, endearing, heartbreaking and for lack of a better term epic moments in gaming. Remember when the word “epic” wasn't just thrown around and it actually meant something large/grand in scope, almost godly? Yeah...

The voice acting is second to none with Laura Bailey, Troy Baker, Dameon Clarke and Patrick Warburton as Fiona, Rhys, Jack and Vasquez respectively knocking it out of the park. Other standouts include Ashley Johnson as the GORTYS and Raison Varner as Loader-Bot who's purposefully stunted and robotic delivery help provide great comedic relief when the player watches these two AI's interact.

Nolan North, Chris Hardwick and Erin Yvette tie everything together as supporting characters August, Vaughn and Sasha respectively.

A nice addition of fan service for long-term fans of Telltale's works is that the characters Finch & Kroeger are voiced by Dave Fennoy and Adam Harrington who previously played the leading roles in the last two Telltale games: 'The Walking Dead' and 'The Wolf Among Us'.

The choice of licensed music within each episode is used to perfection.

'Busy Earnin' by Jungle is used within the first episode to accompany a scene of Rhys and Vaugh arriving on Pandora. The song has a nonchalant attitude which is personified in our characters behaviour being used to juxtapose against the harsh unforgiving Badlands of Pandora.

Episode 2 provides Shawn Lee's 'Kiss the Sky' during the intro which sees a slow-motion sequence where our protagonists are caught up in a vehicular Rakkhide attack. The image of Fiona losing her grip as Rhys slowly falls out of the caravan whilst Vaughn is holding his leg as they tumble into the wasteland is a thing of pure beauty. Episode 3 (My personal favourite) brings about a road trip vibe to the series as we see a montage of our characters journey across the planet. A perfectly synced musical visual story is told to the audience. The progression of not only distance to the planet but the friendship and dynamics of the characters is conveyed to the audience. 'Pieces of the People We Used to Know' by The Rapture accompanies this scene. Episode 4 uses Twin Shadows 'Back to the Top' in an 'Armageddon'-esque parody that is as every bit cheesy and amazing as it sounds. The ending sequence of the episode includes a glitched out version of this track as the character Handsome Jack cackles in the background. Truly immense stuff.

Finally, episode 5 opens with James Blake's 'Retrograde' a dour track to fit the mood and ambience on screen. His haunting vocals echo across the screen as debris from a space station hurdles towards Pandora.

The finale concludes with First Aid Kit's 'My Silver Lining'. A road trip song if ever there was one. This ballad plays over the credit sequence, animations of the characters and events from the last five episodes are shown on the screen. The guitar and vocals give off connotations of the old west or route 66. In essence pure Americana, which is what Borderlands kind of is. Guns, Insanity and tolerating people who are different from you. The song leaves the player in an optimistic mood. If there is never a Season 2 or continuation in the main series of games then that is fine. The story is, for the most part, wrapped up in a nice wee package. Our characters achieved their goals and have come out stronger for it. Good has defeated evil (assuming you chose to save Jack which you totally should have because he's the best character in the franchise despite his villainous nature).

Another praise on the audio front for this game is the score by Jared Emerson-Johnson who has worked on the entirety of the Telltale games catalogue. His score for the game meshes well with the world and could be easily incorporated into the prior games without noticing any differences. The score sounds familiar in a good way and not in the sense that it sounds like Borderlands. His score resembles his prior works on the likes of Sam & Max, The Walking Dead, Wolf Among Us etc.

I can't tell if he's using similar audio beats and queues or equipment but it's a nostalgic/warm feeling of familiarity. His scores for The Walking Dead and Wolf Among Us served as the soundtrack to some of my most poignant, intense and heart-breaking moments as a gamer and this is no different.

The orchestral piece that plays over the menu for the game sounds rather out of place in the world established by the games, it is bombastic and cinematic. Eerily reminiscent of a Hans Zimmer track.

Regardless it is an impressive piece of music and despite the fact it doesn't click with the rest of the game it does inform the player that what they are about to play will be an epic adventure. Kudos to Jared Emerson-Johnson for this.  

Jesper Kyd who had previously worked on the Hitman and Assassins Creed franchise provides many of his works from the Borderlands 2 to be used to round out the soundtrack of the game. Hearing his works again is an absolute treat to the ears as it not only provides a healthy dose of nostalgia but it helps reinforce that this game is part of the larger Borderlands world and lore.

If you couldn't tell, I would firmly recommend this game to anyone with a current gen console or PC. That being said, it does help to play the previous games in the series first just to get a feel for the lore, setting and recurring characters/themes. You could jump into this right away having never played any of the other games in the franchise and enjoy it but that would be a massive disservice to the game. I'm annoyed I never played this game sooner as I’ve always been a fan of the Borderlands IP. The series has been out now for two and a half years and I only recently played it at the beginning of the year, what a fool I was. Paid £15 for it digitally too, not too shabby. That was until I found out the boxed copy with everything pre-installed on it was only £4 in my local GAME.

All I could think of in this moment of sheer and utter disappointment was Rhy's lament in the first episode of the series “Oh my god, who called in the whaaambulance?”

PODCAST - Geek Theory - Favourite Weapons

Hey guys, mind how I've been threatening you with a potential podcast for a while? Well, here it is. I apologise for the poor sound quality in places, a little issue with high ceilings that should be fixed for next time. Here are our (myself and Dave's) favourite melee weapons from videogames. I hope you enjoy. ;)

REVIEW - Assassin's Creed Origins - The Original Pyramid Scheme

Name: Assassin's Creed Origins
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft
Platforms: PlayStation 4 (reviewed), Xbox One, PC

Or AC Oranges, as I keep calling it

This game. Wow. If you've played the two most recent games in the series, Unity and Syndicate, and thought they were pretty meh, don't leave just yet. They had their flaws and didn't really move away enough from the now generic Assassin's Creed formula. AC Origins is a whole different kettle of fish. Ubisoft has done there usual of dropping you in a massive sandbox (quite literally filled with sand this time) and let you go about your business. I'm not talking about just getting to explore big cities either. You have Egypt to explore. With no loading screens. If you're looking at a set of mountains that would be "skybox" in most other open-world games, you can not only climb to the top, you can climb down the other side and keep on going. (Everything the light touches and all that)

At the time of writing, I've sunk about 50 hours into this game. The ingame title screen  (above) occurs during Act II of the game, it took me about 20 hours before I saw it. Ubisoft has been guilty in the past of providing large areas for you to explore and only providing you with collectables to pass the time for the most part. It seems they've learned from their mistakes. Sure, you've got your usual Assassin's Creed staples, your vantage points and bits and bobs to pick up. Thankfully these take a backseat to the missions that you're provided with to pass the time and level up your character, Byek. (That's a bit subjective, if you want to do all the vantage points first then that's your prerogative)

Ever seen a man motorboat the pyramids of Giza? You're about to.

From the start of Act II your given Egypt to explore. There is a catch, however. Being fresh-faced and just leaving your home for the first time, you could be considered "squishy". If you zoom out of the map far enough it'll show you that each region that Egypt is divided into has a general "recommended" level to be to safely explore it. Now as you'll be more than aware of by now, I'm a chump. I didn't know this when I first set out to explore the world. So there I am, riding my horse up through some glorious mountains that are lush and green, not giving one toss about the soldiers passing me by. They aren't bothering me so what do I care? I come across a "checkpoint" Roman base that takes up the entire road. Pfft, whatever, I think to myself, I'll blitz on through. 1 minute later after the loading screen has respawned me, I reconsider my place in the world and start crying. Basically, you can technically go anywhere, you just have to be smart about it. The combat in AC Origins operates completely differently from the previous instalments. (There's no "Just hit counter until success") Here you have to rely on knowing where the enemies are, actively blocking and parrying oncoming attacks and mashing the living shite out of the dodge button if there are archers about. The flip side to this is that if you're in a fight you're "in level" to deal with, it can seem a little too easy at points. (I kind of regret not playing the game on Hard for a bit of a challenge)

What is this? A desert oasis town for ants?

Leveling up isn't too much of a grind. You get experience for discovering new locations, killing enemies, and finding certain collectables. The majority of the of the points come from completing main and side quests. Most major cities you reach will provide an array of these as well as a few hidden throughout the land in isolated spots. Most of these are actually quite good fun, with interesting characters and a further excuse to explore the beautiful environment. There are more than a few quests that will involve you having to find someone who's gone missing and bring them back. (Most often to be found right in the middle of an enemy base) These can get a little repetitive and if you've explored the map as thoroughly as I have you'll probably find you're being sent to a camp you've cleared out already. There are more reasons for doing the side quests, on more than one occasion I've been surprised with a new horse. (That sounded cooler in my head) Weapons in the game are dangerously close to being just a thing you need to hit the other guy with. With the exception of a few unique items you get, overall you're bombarded with heaps of sharp objects that may or may not have better stats than the one you're currently holding. It is a bit of a let down here as aside from some of the designs, the weapons are the least interesting thing about the game.

Hey, you've got a little someone on your face

As this is the first game in the series, chronologically, the game wastes no time making various nods and outright shout-outs to a lot of the lore that featured in previous (Future?) games. The introduction of the Hidden Blade is a particular favourite of mine as it makes a perfect example of how symbology can stem from the smallest of actions. Your Eagle Vision comes in the form of a literal eagle called Senu. Probably the only positive thing I took away from another of Ubisoft's games, Far Cry Primal, was the ability to get a bird's-eye view with a trusted feathered companion. Senu is my girl. She can tag enemies for you, find hidden treasure and is extremely useful in finding those aforementioned missing persons. (I want my own, it's almost Christmas, someone make it happen) As for Senu's master, Byek (yes, it literally sounds like everyone is saying "by 'eck"), he is by far my favourite protagonist of the series to date. Bare in mind I hated Ezio and Connor and only liked Edward Kenway because he was a pirate so this doesn't exactly put Byek on a pedestal by any means. He's smart, has a very straightforward sense of justice but without being "black and white" in his judgements and has a sense of humour. Oh the Gods, bless this man. He smiles and cracks wise and not at other peoples expense like a smarmy git either. He's likeable, you'd buy him a drink.

This isn't a perspective trick, he's just a big bastard

This may split the crowd a little. There is a little modern day stuff in the game. Not to the degree it was back during the Assassin's Creed 2 era, just enough to remind us that there is still a meta-game going on we should kind of care about. There's crafting in the game that you use to upgrade your gear for better attack and defence mostly, this can be a bit time-consuming. So long as you don't make it a focus and dismantle (not sell) all your old equipment then it shouldn't be too much of a hassle. (The only thing I've really gone wanting for is animal skins, and they're everywhere if you Senu your way about for 10 seconds) There is a Photo Mode because what game nowadays isn't complete without one. Though thanks to it, I ended up with way more pictures than I could possibly use in one article. So there's that.

What's this? Play the damn game and find out yourself, lazybones!

Would I recommend Assassin's Creed Origins to you? If you're tired of massive open-world games, I can't promise that this is going to reinvigorate your passion for travelling long, digital distances. However, if you want an Assassin's Creed game that is both entertaining and actually does something with the franchise after I don't know how many years then this is the point to jump back on the bandwagon.

Hmm, already made a "boob" joke concerning the pyramids... eh, fuck it

Nipples!

Assassin's Creed Origins is currently going for around the £40 mark for all platforms. Of course, this is Ubisoft so there are about 10 different versions of the game you can buy with varying degrees of extras. As ever, shop wisely.

LIST - Champion Belts for Everyone

We all have our preferred characters to choose from when playing certain fighting games. Here are a few that I've fallen back on over the years. (At time of writing "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas comes on the playlist, naturally)

• Baraka - Mortal Kombat
  

Talk about bringing a knife to a fistfight. I love Baraka. I always have. Ever since I first saw him in Mortal Kombat II with his coy smile and arm blades I thought: He's the one. Basically, I was a little shite growing up and would look for anything I thought would give me the advantage to help me win a fight. Sure, you have a guy that is literally the God of Thunder and an undead ninja with harpoon guns hidden up his sleeves but unless you had foot-long swords extending from your wrists I wasn't interested.

Baraka is just one of thousands of loyal Tarkatan foot soldiers in Shao Khan's army. In all of his appearances, Baraka has never risen above the level of henchman. Having your realm conquered lowers your self-esteem somewhat, it seems. Personally, if I had swords coming out my arms, I would be my own boss in pretty short order. (I also wouldn't waste any money on BBQ skewers)
As you can probably guess, the majority of Baraka's attacks are close range and involve poking a few holes in a few body parts. His most prominent ranged attack has him run the blades together, shooting sparks at his opponent. (That move is for those of you who are cheap and enjoy pissing about) Of course, Mortal Kombat is famous for its Fatalities. Over the years, Baraka has performed some extremely questionable surgery practices, from the standard decapitation to full-on bisection of an opponent. (He also cares how thickly you like your ham sliced if that humanises him in any way)
Pros: Swords are better than fists; that smile
Cons: Holding hands with your beau can get messy; that smile

• Yoshimitsu - Tekken/Soul Calibur
  

How many people do you know can stab himself with his own sword and still win the fight? If your answer is more than one then you know some really messed up people. Yoshimitsu is portrayed, more often than not, as a "Robin Hood" figure in the Tekken and Soul Calibur franchises. Again, a fighter that's packing a blade in a martial arts competition. (I have a type, what can I say)
Yoshimitsu is in possession of a cursed sword, one that slowly kills its wielder unless it takes the lives of the impure of heart. As a result, he continually finds himself entering the King of Iron Fist Tournament in order to steal ill-gotten gains and take down corrupt individuals. He is the leader of the Manji Clan, a group of ninjas who are dedicated to fixing corruption and helping the "little guy". (Merry Men with Katanas is a show I'd watch) Over the various games, Yoshimitsu (who has been in Tekken since the very start) has come in many guises. From a traditional ninja, he's become one of the more unconventional looking characters in the series. Demon masks, insect armour making him look like a giant stag beetle (complete with wings) His most recent incarnation gives him an eerie red skull mask with numerous tentacles coming out the back. As he's never taken his mask off, it's rumoured that "Yoshimitsu" is, in fact, a title and not a name. This would be to create the illusion that Yoshimitsu is immortal and there will always be someone for villains to fear. (Kind of like Batman)
His sword-wielding hand is a robotic prosthetic. This allows him to spin the sword fast enough to fly about and attack his opponents from above. He's also quite partial to bouncing around on his sword like a pogo stick. (For when you get bored of walking, I guess)
Pros: Robs from the rich; gives to the poor; top bloke
Cons: Ugh, tentacles; could be Gary Glitter under that mask, you don't know

• Brad Wong - Dead or Alive
  

BRAD WONG, BITCHES! *ahem* Sorry. I built this list entirely around this guy. I have no idea what it is about the Zui Quan style of fighting that I find so appealing. Maybe it's the fact that you spend a lot of your time tumbling around like a drunkard, slapping and punching your way to a bleary victory. (Think Jackie Chan in The Legend of Drunken Master) The way that the fighter moves there body as if they are intoxicated, using momentum and weight of the body to parry blows and counter unexpectedly is mesmerising to watch.

A lot of Brad's attacks are delivered from a prone position, much like a lot of my hobbies so I feel I can relate to him on a more personal level. Like Yoshimitsu, there a few attacks that would seem to be to the detriment of the attacker. Lying down in the middle of a fight isn't the best move (in an actual, real-life fight) but in Dead or Alive this can open up a whole plethora of opportunities. You become harder to hit, for one, and Brad can easily spring up and become a cartoon-esque ball of fists and feet that'll pummel the strongest of opponents to a pulp.
Unlike people who practice this martial art for real, Brad genuinely gets drunk. He's forever seeking out the best, fabled concoction to help him reach an enlightened state of understanding. (This has literally had him use the nose of a demon as an ingredient at one point) Some of his ending sequences have been super trippy as he imbibes on his latest creation, especially the one in DOA3.
Pros: He's buying; better than Tom Cruise at mixing a cocktail
Cons: You're getting him home; worse than Tom Cruise at flying a fighter jet (because he's drunk)

• Alisa - Tekken
  

Of course, there was going to be a robot on the list. Why break tradition? Alisa may look like a regular girl with metallic pink hair and a jetpack but she is so much more. She's a super-advanced android on a mission to... eh, it's Tekken, everyone's mission is pretty inconsistent unless your surname is Mishima. She zips around, pummeling her opponents while also caring deeply about the safety of her friends. What's not to love?

At first glance I wasn't that impressed with her, to be honest. Here we go, I thought, another "cute" anime girl who also happens to be a robot. That's not an overused trope. I mean, she is exactly that, but then you get to using her and she actually made Tekken fun again since the second game. One of her moves has you take off her head to chuck at her opponent, which then subsequently explodes after they catch it. I paused the game after I accidentally button-mashed that attack for the first time because I couldn't see the screen for laughing so hard. She also has chainsaws hidden in her wrists for an extra edge (no pun intended) in battle. 

Pros: Free flights as long as you don't mind the "windswept and interesting" look; comes with a build in MP3 player

Cons: Again, holding hands with your beau can get messy; sight of a decapitated head not for the faint of heart

Just a wee list this week, I underestimated how much time I need to put into other projects. I'll have something a little more substantial next week. Looking at it, it's all just knives, robots and getting drunk. (Also known as "A Saturday Night") Please drink, stab and fight responsibly.

RECOMMEND - Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines - I Blame Twilight for this Game's Lack of Success

Name: Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
Developer: Troika Games
Publisher: Activision
Platform: PC
Released: 16/11/04

It's getting to be that time of year again. It's getting dark, cold, a little spooky. As a rule, mainly because I'm a "Big Jessie", I don't play scary games. So I thought I would recommend one of my favourite PC games that deals with vampires, werewolves and ghosts. Scary enough, right? Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (Hence forth to be known as VTMB because screw typing all that up however many more times) was the first PC game I bought with my own money. Now I'd like to claim that the idea of being a vampire with cool powers, stalking the streets of L.A. was what attracted me to this game in the first place. It wasn't. It had an 18 certificate and a sexy vampire lady on the cover. (Hormones make a growing lad make ridiculous decisions) As it turned out, the choice to buy the game was fully justified. Stalking the night-time streets of downtown L.A. with vampire superpowers was way better than my limited intentions could have hoped for.

You start of where all good RPGs start you, the character creation screen. Here you get to pick whether you went a man or a woman and, most importantly, what type of vampire you wanted to be. The selection was pretty impressive, each type having traits that made them distinctive enough to want to try a few before you really got into the game. You get to choose from seven delicious flavours of vampire clan. Each clan comes with their own wee quirks and each have a set of Disciplines that grant you special abilities. (And yes, I'm about to nerd about all of them)

• Brujah - These are the brawlers. If you're wanting to "tank" your way through the game, smashing villains in the face with your undead fists then this is the character for you. The downside, of course, being that you aren't too smart. Lock picking and hacking aren't your thing and forget about talking your way out of an argument.
• Gangrel - A bit more of the same with these guys, but with a bit of added magic. The Gangrel have impressive physical strength and are also capable of summoning swarms of birds, bugs, bats and wolves with Animalism to attack their enemies. (No, not a "swarm" of wolves. It was just a poorly structured sentence)
• Malkavian - Possibly my favourite clan. If you start as these guys then your character is technically insane. That's a bit unfair. You see the world in a different way. All of your dialogue options are like bizarre snippets from a 13-year-olds emo poetry book. Characters you interact with acknowledge this and tend to either make fun of you or give you a wide berth. For me, it enhanced an already interesting story. They get the Dementation Discipline. This ranges from making people run in fear from you to causing everyone go berserk and attack one another. You know, fun times.
• Nosferatu - Very much like the 1922 film of the same name, the Nosferatu are disfigured and are masters of creeping around in the shadows. They actually have to. The game punishes you if you perform too many supernatural acts in front of "normal" people. There's nothing more supernatural than a Nosferatu rocking up the street with his hunchback and 3" claws. Luckily, there is a sewer system in the game that has an exit close to or inside most of the buildings you need to get to. These guys are for a proper stealth run.
• Toreador - These are the exact opposite of the Nosferatu. Go one of these guys if you enjoy talking and manipulating people to do your bidding. Like the Malkavian they get a few bonus dialogue options. For being beautiful and charismatic, not coocoo for coco pops. To be honest, they're the closest to playing as a regular human as you can get. (Except with increased strength and issues with sunburn) Still fun though.
• Tremere - Mages! They're mages that use blood magic and to be honest I would pick them anytime I wanted to do an offensive run because the blood magic, Thaumaturgy, is the fucking tits when you level it up. You make guys explode. With your mind. Like some sort of meat tornado! I don't have to sell you on it more, I had you at "Meat Tornado".
• Ventrue - Essentially vampire aristocrats, they are treated with both great respect and resentment wherever they go. Though again, you're gifted with high charisma and knowledge so talking and hacking will be your path through the game. Physically complete crap so firearms are the way forward if you do find yourself in a fight.

You'll notice I picked the two clans with the interesting Disciplines as my favourites. This isn't Deus Ex levels of "Play Your Way", sometimes you'll be bottlenecked into a fight and it's better to have a few offensive powers to get you out of a jam.

Before I get into it, I should probably explain that this game was released unfinished for various reasons. Luckily it gained such a cult following that the modding community went to town on it. If you feel like grabbing a copy of the game, a very quick look online will net you a heap of patches that range from improving how the game runs and fixing the unfinished content to changing the clans you can go with different powers. (I haven't looked into the latter)

The game gets is basis from a popular role-playing game series of the same name. I've been told that unlike you're standard "Dungeons & Dragons" style of game, VTM takes a more "political intrigue" route. (Like Game of Thrones with slightly more fangs. Possibly less death)
Starting off, you're in the process of being sired. (Becoming a vampire) Just after the deed is done, various vampires burst in and take you to a hastily thrown together "court". You are on trail for becoming a vampire without permission. It is against vampire law, known as the Masquerade, to increase the ranks of the vampires for fear of revealing their existence to humans. Your sire gets executed right there and then, without a word in defence. You're about to get the same treatment when a few in the crowd start protesting. The vampire in charge of the trail, Prince LaCroix, give you a stay of execution to save face literally seconds before the place comes under attack from enemy vampires. You then have to play through a tutorial that is slightly tweaked towards each of the different clans but ultimately the same overall.

This is you now out in the main game. I'm not going to give you a blow-by-blow, just felt like giving a brief intro to events that set you off on your adventure. There are four main hubs; Santa Monica, Downtown, Hollywood and Chinatown. These aren't massive by any means but each have enough side missions and extra places to explore that it can make for a fun distraction from all the serious vampiring you'll be expected to do for the main story. There are also areas that could be compared closely to a dungeon from Zelda, where you go and solve puzzles, then fight a boss at the end. (Well, most of the time. The rules aren't so strict here)
The game operates with a standard experience system. For every mission you do you get more xp and other various rewards. Playing through the game, those are the second reason I try to do everything. VTMB is really quite well written. Every character you meet has a story to tell and a distinct personality. You aren't dealing with Elder Scrolls levels of reusing voice actors for all the same lines.
As I said earlier, the game was released unfinished. This results in a few cases of crashing or items going missing. Not ideal. Some textures can get a little choppy and character models seem to think that their coding is more of a suggestion rather than what they should follow. Super easy to fix, and I say this as someone who's pretty computer illiterate at best. You can find the majority of the patches and mods here: http://www.moddb.com/games/vampire-the-masquerade-bloodlines/mods
Of course, with all downloads, scan them, you never know.

I realise I'm recommending a PC game that didn't sell well (at all) over 10 years ago. But I now have a platform to shout about these things which I didn't have then. If you like the first-person, action RPG a 'la Deus Ex then this is definitely one to look out for. It's currently £3.74 on the Steam Hallowe'en sale until November 1st. (Normally £14.99) Thank you for letting me ramble, have a safe Hallowe'en. Spooky kisses. ;}) <--- (My Hallowe'en emoji)

THE LORE YOU KNOW - The Legend of Zelda

Woo, who's up for another history lesson? No? No one? Cool, I'll just talk to myself for a bit.

Original Concepts: The Legend of Zelda comes from the brilliant mind of Shigeru Miyamoto. (There will be a few more Lore articles with his name all over them, he's... a pretty big deal) When Mr Miyamoto was a boy he would explore the hills and forests around his childhood home in Sonobe, Japan.

He would find caves and explore them with a lantern, later using this as his inspiration for creating the world of Hyrule. He used his memories of getting lost amongst the sliding doors of his home to create the dungeons you would explore. Miyamoto wanted to make a "miniature garden" for players to explore to create the same sense of wonder he felt while exploring as a child. The titular character's name is in reference to American novelist Zelda Fitzgerald,  Miyamoto thought her name sounded "pleasant and significant". The series protagonist, Link, and his fairy companions were drawn from Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. (Link's green tunic is kind of a give away there, though it's a pity he can't fly. I wish Navi was as mute as Tinker Bell though) Of course, no hero is complete without his trusty sword. Link's Master Sword finds its inspiration in the classic Arthurian legend, Excalibur. With it being kept lodged in stone and only wieldable by the chosen hero, it was the obvious choice for the hero's weapon. While the Zelda series has gotten its influences from various sources, many other game franchises have drawn inspiration from Zelda. These include, but aren't limited to, Grand Theft Auto, Uncharted and the Blood Omen series.

Debut: On February 21st, 1986, The Legend of Zelda was released as a launch title for Family Computer Disk System in Japan. (Basically what would become the Nintendo Entertainment System in America and Europe) 

Shigeru Miyamoto and Takashi Tezuka designed and directed the game. Tezuka wrote the story and script. Keiji Terui, who had worked on anime shows such as Dragon Ball, wrote the backstory that was found in the game manual. As far as building the lore went, TLoZ had it all. You were introduced to Link and Princess Zelda, the heroes of the series. Ganon made his first appearance in his demonic pig form and as the series main antagonist. Players were set in a massive map (for its time) and sent to explore the caves, rivers and mountains in search for the Triforce. (Again, this became one of the series staples) The original game was a lot more open to the player in terms of how they could set about completing the quest. A fair amount of the overworld was freely available from the start, though a few locations and dungeons were only accessible with the acquisition of certain items. A feature that would take a stronger role in later titles. While not exclusive for the time, The Legend of Zelda did have a new game+ mode called "Second Quest". After completing the game, you could unlock this mode which featured tougher enemies, a new map layout and different item placements. This essentially made it a brand new experience. (You could also unlock this mode from the start by entering your name as ZELDA) The music for the game was composed by Koji Kondo. Originally he wanted to use Maurice Ravel's Bolero as the games main overworld theme but later learned that the copyright hadn't yet expired. After finding that out he wrote a new theme in a day. (I'm lucky if I can write one of these in a week...) When the game was released in North America, the box had a small cut away to reveal the cartridge inside. This was to showcase that instead of the regular grey colour that NES games usually came in, The Legend of Zelda was gold.

Sequels and Innovations: (Buckle in, ladies and gentlemen) Zelda II: The Adventures of Link was released less than a year after the original on January 14, 1987. It switched from a top-down view to a side-scrolling one (much like the Castlevania series) though it retained the top-down view for the world map. Zelda II is the only game in the series thus far to have had an experience system, which was used to increase his attack, defence and magic capabilities. A lives system was also introduced, which was thankfully not carried on as a series mainstay. (Unless you count the Philips CDi Zelda games, which you really shouldn't)
Jump forward 4 years to 1991, Zelda: A Link to the Past is released on Super Famicom. [a.k.a. Super Nintendo Entertainment System] (Here was the seed that the franchise would truly grow from) Long-standing items such as the Hookshot, Pegasus Boots and Heart Containers were introduced to help you on your adventure. One of the most canonically important artefacts was created; The Master Sword. The concept of parallel worlds is also introduced, here as the Light World and the Dark World. This would become a popular concept used in future releases in varying degrees.

In 1993, the Zelda series gets its first handheld title: Link's Awakening. (Though it was originally just a test project to test the Game Boy's capabilities and not meant to be a full game) Not only was this the first game to not take place in Hyrule but it also didn't feature the titular character, Princess Zelda. Despite being released on the Game Boy, it still brought new features to the table. Link could now gain the ability to jump, which hadn't been possible before. The game introduced collectables, in the form of "secret seashells", which unlocked a powerful sword when all were collected. The "Item Swap" quest started here as well, where Link would trade with one NPC to another to receive a unique reward. The game was even innovative mechanically. Separate items could be assigned to A and B, this meant that they could be used in various combinations to solve more complex puzzles. In 1998, Link's Awakening DX was released as a launch title for the Game Boy Colour. This version of the game featured additional tunics for Link to wear which increased either attack or defence. These were found at the end of an additional, colour-based dungeon.

1998 proved to be a very important year for the Zelda series. (And not just because Link got all colourful on a handheld) The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was released November 21st on the Nintendo 64. For the first time, Hyrule could be explored in 3D. Not only was this groundbreaking for the series but the games industry as a whole was majorly influenced as well. With all the aspects that had been brought to the series thus far, this made Ocarina of Time the most in-depth action-RPG of its time. As Hyrule had become such a massive world to explore, Link was introduced to his horse, Epona. Early in the game, you receive the Ocarina of Time. With it, the game uses a mechanic that becomes a feature in later games where Link plays music to solve puzzles, teleport to locations and even change the weather with a series of timed button prompts. (You know, normal musician shit) Of course, with the 3D environment comes a new challenge to the combat. Link can shoot his bow in any direction, strafe around enemies and the line between puzzle and boss begins to blur. Then there was the lock-on system to help keep track of the enemies. This game broke moulds left and right. (The less said about Navi, the better though) Link would travel through time with the acquisition of the Master Sword to a point where Ganondorf (Ganon's human form) had captured Zelda and taken over Hyrule. As a grown adult, Link could use more powerful weapons and a vaster array of tools to aid him in saving Hyrule.

April 2000 saw the release of Zelda: Majora's Mask. While technically very similar to OoT, Majora's Mask's tone was much darker, dealing with death and tragedy on a much greater scale than previous entries. These would be themes that would take significant roles in future sequels, adding amazing depth to an already incredible mythos. Link would receive masks that would alter his form, giving him new abilities. Much like items he would receive from dungeons, these helped him progress further through the game. (After a short yet upsetting cutscene equipping them) Unlike the other games, Majora's Mask had a clock counting down towards a Game Over screen from the start. This came in the form of the moon with a big, creepy face on it slowly inching closer over the three in-game days. On each of these days the world would change, quests would unlock, locations would change. Using time travel, this created a game-long puzzle of time management that played into the sinister themes perfectly.
Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages were both released simultaneously for the Game Boy Colour. While taking major cues from earlier 2D, top-down Zelda titles in regards to gameplay, it did feature one very interesting dynamic. With the use of a password or a link cable, you were able to play one or the other as the sequel to the title you had just finished. (It didn't matter what one you played first, it would continue the story knowing what you had done) This also resulted in a final confrontation with Ganon that you wouldn't encounter if you had only played one of them. (You could see this as a cynical cash-grab getting you to buy two games but it ultimately meant more Zelda to play) Seasons would use the different seasons (funnily enough) to change environments and open new paths. Ages touched, once again, on the concepts of travelling through time to solve puzzles and progress through the game.

December 2002: A new adventure was released. Unlike the previous 3D instalments, however, this was cel-shaded and cartoony. Miyamoto wanted Zelda: The Wind Waker to "extend Zelda's reach to all ages" with this new look yet familiar gameplay. Personally (and in hindsight, unforgivably) I dismissed this title off-hand because of how it looked. I was a damn fool. The Wind Waker was the most fun I got out of my GameCube. (Barring the Metroid Prime series but we'll get to them at a later date) Instead of rolling hills and a horse to ride on them, you're given an endless ocean and a boat to explore it. Much like the ocarina in OoT, Link uses a baton (the titular Wind Waker), to control the wind and help him navigate the flooded world. It really has stood up to the test of time, in my opinion, and if you get a chance to play it then do so. (Even if you already have)
Sorry if the next two titles are close to your heart but I'm going to fly past them. 2005 saw the release of Four Sword Adventures and The Minish Cap on the Game Boy Advance. The former had a heavy emphasis on multiplayer, using cooperation to solve puzzles and fight bosses. The Minish Cap operated very similarly to earlier games, adding a "shrinking" mechanic that allowed Link to see the world from a completely different perspective. While fun, nothing remarkable.

The next big 3D release was in November 2006. Zelda: Twilight Princess was released first on Wii then a month later on GameCube. Here the influences of "A Link to the Past"'s "two worlds" and the darker tone of "Majora's Mask" were very apparent. Link could be transported to the "Twilight Realm" where he would take the form of a wolf. This created interesting scenarios where you would have to solve puzzles and fight enemies in a completely different way than what you were used to. The Wii version showcased it's motion controls in the combat and fishing. This was a positive or a negative, depending on your view of motion controls. Aside from the way you moved, there were a few other differences. The overworld map was switched East to West in the Wii version (which made the map the wrong way around in my opinion), and Link could equip four secondary weapons as opposed to two in the GameCube version. The GameCube version did give you full control of the camera without having to enter a "look around" mode.
Here are another two I'm going to rush over. While I understand the significance that both Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks (October 2007 and December 2009 respectively) are direct sequels to The Wind Waker, a move that hadn't been done since OoT and Majora's Mask, they were kind of enclosed in their own space. Both were released on Nintendo DS so both made use of the touchscreen. Phantom Hourglass allowed you to plot a course for your boat without having to touch the controls, meaning while you sailed you could concentrate on using items and firing your cannons. A central dungeon had you pick up the "Phantom Hourglass" to prevent you from taking damage from "cursed" areas within it for a limited time. Spirit Tracks operated in much the same way but this time with a train instead of a boat. It removed the "cursed" areas and made its dungeons easier to navigate with unlockable shortcuts.

(One more push, we're nearly there) Skyward Sword, released November 20, 2011, for the Wii, made a much bigger focus on its motion controls. (The special 25th-anniversary edition came with a golden Wii-mote and an orchestral soundtrack for the Zelda series. It's pretty awesome) Depending on how you held the mote, you could slash in many directions, use the Wii Nunchuck to defend yourself with your shield. The designers, with the increased capabilities of the Wii-mote Plus, were challenged with creating items for Link to use that would utilise the advanced motion controls effectively. For the most part, the combat was intense and satisfying. Due to its precise nature though, a few bosses later in the game felt a little too exacting in their swordsmanship. It would be remiss of me to not mention Skyloft. This is set as your home above the clouds. Much like Wind Waker, where you're surrounded by water, here you are surrounded by open sky. The only way to reach the ground and other floating islands are with the aid of your trusty feathered Loftwing. (Think a big, colourful seagull and you're about 75% right) Canonically, Skyward Sword is the first game in the series, featuring the progenitors for a lot of the Zelda lore.
Through the years of 2011 to 2016, various re-releases of older Zelda titles were released on the Nintendo Virtual Console. Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask both received a 3D release for the Nintendo 3DS and both The Wind Waker and Twilight Princess got HD versions for the Wii U. (That no one played because no one bought a Wii U) In amongst all of this Zelda: A Link Between Worlds was released on 3DS. It was set as a direct sequel to A Link to the Past though instead of items being found exclusively in dungeons, you could also buy various ones from a merchant. This made navigating the overworld much freer from early on. It introduced the world of Lorule, an opposite world to that of Hyrule. (A direct comparison to the Light and Dark worlds) Story-wise, it kept things fresh with a few plot twists that weren't that common for the series.

Hey guys. We made it. It's finally 2017 again. Breath of the Wild has been released on Nintendo Switch (As yet another Zelda console launch title) and it's fucking glorious. Going directly back to its roots, you have a massive map (for its time), pretty much free reign to play the game in any order you want. This time you can go directly to Calamity Ganon (because that's his name now) and beat him within the first 20 minutes of starting the game. Assuming you're actually good enough to beat the endgame boss with three hearts and whatever weapon you managed to scrounge on the way over. Most shields and weapons now break after so much use, there's a much bigger emphasis on alternative clothing for Link to wear, from just staying warm in the mountains to being able to sneak into the Garudo Village dressed as a woman. The designers of BotW have thought of most contingencies. There are physics-based puzzles, weather that affects you in different ways (Pro-tip: Don't wear lots of metal during a thunderstorm), voice acting ingame for the first time in 30 years. That and basically everything that had been added to the series as a whole over the years. (I still haven't even played it yet) The game is jam-packed full of puzzles and quests that can take well in excess of 200 hours for the more determined of us to complete. Magnum opus might be a bit too strong a term but from most accounts, this is the shiniest of shiny jewels in Zelda's crown to date.

We've travelled over 30 years, over 15 games to this point. If you've stuck with this until now, then you are the true Hero of Time. I hope you enjoyed the distilled taste of pure Zelda directly to your eyeballs because I've had a real good time filling my head with more Hyrule than I know what to do with. (How many times did I say titular? I'm just trying to sound smart) Good day to you! Kisses.

SEASON PASS OR FAIL - Injustice 2

I can be a sucker for some additional content. Sometimes too much of a sucker in fact. With these articles, I'll try and point out the good'uns from the bad'uns so you can get by relatively unscathed in the massive Mine Sweeper world of Season Passes. These will be kind of like reviews but with more of an emphasis on what your buck will get you. Ultimately, should you get the season pass or wait for the Game of the Year edition.

Game: Injustice 2
Price: £32.99
What you get: 9 characters, 3 premier skins and 2 shaders for each character

Premier Skins

Firstly, this is no standard Season Pass. Oh no, this is the "Ultimate Pass". Straight off the bat (not a reference), you're gifted with three exclusive skins. One for Green Lantern, making him John Stewart. Supergirl becomes Power Girl and the Flash becomes Reverse Flash. These are cool. They have their own recorded lines of dialogue, they have their own distinct look compared to the base character. Moves stay the same, you can't customise them at all the way you can the regular characters. While I get they are too similar to others to be in the game standalone, it would be nice for them to have their own gear to alter their looks. A strange grumble but I did really enjoy Injustice 2's gear system.

Exclusive Shaders

You are also given two shaders for each character, God and Demon. (Technically there's four as these two have "alternates" but these are just colour switches for the most part) God makes your eyes glow with a heavenly light while generally turning your clothes white and bright grey. This works for a few characters, mostly the ones that fly in their passive state. Demon, I have to admit, is pretty cool. It turns the eyes black, a'la "Supernatural" demons, and shades your clothing with black and crimson. Like I said, I do kind of like this one. So far I count that as one positive towards that £32.99 price tag. (Yay)

Characters

Right, let's do a little maths. Let's say that this Seaso... ahem, sorry, "Ultimate Pass" is just the characters. That means that it's £3.66 for each new character. That sounds reasonable, right? Sure, until you remember that unlockable characters used to be a feature within a fighting game as opposed to additional paid content. My biggest bugbear with most fighting games these days is that the best feature has been taken away and locked behind a pay barrier. (Or you can pretend the game doesn't exist until the Game of the Year edition) The fact is the bulk of the Pass is these characters. There's actually a tenth character, Darkseid. He isn't included in the "Ultimate Pass". He was a pre-order bonus. (Yay, them things) You have to fork out an additional £4.99 to play as him. I was under the impression "ultimate" meant "final" but there you go. (Yes, I was a chump and forked out the dough)

Season Pass or Fail? FAIL. Without a doubt, wait for the Game of the Year if you want the full experience. Overall, you'll probably pay less than the price of the "Ultimate Pass" and you'll get all the stuff it didn't include in the first place. Basically, you'll get a complete fighting game. Urgh, there will be some positive SEASON PASS OR FAILs coming but this was never going to be one of them. Remember when you used to unlock characters in fighting games? Even a couple of extra outfits? Play through Story mode with a character and unlock a new one, rewards for a bunch of fights well fought. Or a bunch of fights where you spammed the cheapest move you can muster. (I have no earthly idea how many hours I've sunk into Tekken 2 but let me tell you, it wasn't just a couple) Nowadays it's all about that dolladolla though.