BOSS RUSH - Like a Boss

• Royal Sovereign & HMS Fearless - Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag
  

Avast! You're sailing the Caribbean Seas, looting towns, singing shanties and sending Her Majesty's fleet to the murky depths, in search of... something related to Assassin's Creeds convoluted story. (I dunno) The Jackdaw is your ship and she sees you through some rough waters and even rougher sea battles.

Throughout the game, you'll get yourself into some pretty tight situations. None more so than the Legendary Ship battles. These are located on the outskirts of the map so you don't accidentally engage one before you're ready. (Don't be a hero, unless you have maximum armour and cannons don't even consider these fights) There are four of them in total, each rewarding you with some of the best upgrades for your ship. By far my favourite one is being beset by twin Man-O-Wars, Royal Sovereign and HMS Fearless, both of them racing towards you faster than any other ship of their size has any right to move at. I've talked about laughing and bosses giving me a good time as I fought them. This battle, and to a lesser extent the others, gave me The Fear. This isn't a standard fight where you can take potshots and if all else fails to ram them. A standard man-o-war has 32 cannons on one side. That's 64 total. Together these guys can hit you with that in one go, reducing your beautiful ship to bloody matchsticks in seconds. That's their main tactic. (Friendly fire must be off or something because they do shit all damage to each other) They also pelt you with mortar fire if you decide to try and keep your distance. Your only real option is to go in fast, strafe (in a large wooden vessel) and focus on taking down their health as evenly as possible. Why evenly, you ask? As soon as you take down either one of these monsters the other becomes faster and more aggressive. You know, just like real boats...

The sea battles in this game are excellent are one of its best aspects. (Aside from singing along to the sea shanties at full volume until you realise you aren't in the house by yourself) The Legendary Ships are the ultimate test of skill as even with your ship being as upgraded as it can get they still require the knowledge on how to manoeuvre effectively and an understanding of your ships weapons.

• Guard Scorpion - Final Fantasy VII
  

First bosses should set a certain standard in an RPG. If they can a) turn up within the first hour, b) be reasonably tougher than the enemies you've encountered thus far and c) have a mechanic that makes you think about how you choose your actions then you have a solid contender for "Top First Boss". Enter Guard Scorpion, a massive red robot scorpion with laser beams and guns and a big drill tail. (Probably something you'd have drawn when you were 5. Still cool though...)

You start the fight and think to yourself "Okay, here's a slightly bigger enemy than the previous effort". Fights up until now have been over within about five turns. After five turns of this encounter, you start to realise why it probably wasn't a good idea to be downing your limited amount of health-restoring potions like so much sweet lemonade. First off you're going to want to keep zapping this guy in the head with lightning. (REAL LIGHTNING) He has about 800HP and the lightning damage can do up to about 100 a hit. 8 times you think to yourself (after some quick mental arithmetic) this clown is going the way of the robot dinosaurs. It goes pretty well for the first few rounds then something happens. The camera changes position and Guard Scorpion raises its tail. You're then warned that in this stance attacking the boss will trigger a counter-attack. Like the curious player that I am (coupled with the fact I'd literally just saved) I think "fuck it, what's the worst that can happen". The worst comes in the form of a laser that hits your entire party for a pretty severe amount of damage for that point of the game. Lesson learned, if you can't attack but need to select an action then heal or guard.
It's not the most informative tutorial. It leaves it to your common sense to fill in the blanks. Like when your mum tells you not to touch the iron when it's still hot. Or scrape ice with your fingers then lick the ice over and over again. You are duly warned, it's up to you to resist the temptation. Hmm now that I think about it maybe this boss fight resonates with me for reasons I hadn't thought of... (Freezer burns suck)

• Dr Robotnik - Sonic the Hedgehog
  

In the last 8 months, I think I've mentioned Robotnik quite a few times on here. I make no apologies. You never forget your first... video game antagonist. For games that came out in the early nineties, Robotnik knows how to show up in style. Your speeding through the Green Hill Zone, collecting rings and smashing Badniks. Suddenly the screen stops moving and the music changes. (And what music *French chef kiss of approval*)

In floats Robotnik, at first seemingly in an unarmed little spaceship. He flies to the centre of the screen, gives the screen a cheeky wee grin then unleashes that big money ball. You're then left running from one side of the screen to the other, dodging and jumping over the good doctors massive, swinging euphemism. The combat is pretty simple and really just teaches you that while this is a game about moving fast you also have to be mindful of timing. After a handful of blows, you beat Robotnik and his ball and chain break off. (Read into that what you will) He then about turns and scarpers off the screen like he's just realised he left the oven on leaving you to wander over and free all the bunnies and birdies he was going to turn into robots.

I like most of the original designs for Robotnik's machines from the early games because they all worked off the same basic model. While this can sound limiting it forced the designers to not only try and keep the designs unique but also thematic for each level. Nowadays he keeps turning up in some sort of Disney knock-off Gundam suit and generally does a lot of pissing about with lightning and lasers. What happened to you, Robotnik? You used to be cool.

• Gogandantess - Onimusha 2
  

GOGANDANTESS! Greatest Swordsman of all the Demons! That's how this guy enters a room. He makes me pretty happy. In a game where the comic relief generally comes from your allies, Gogandantess (wow, I'm going to get tired of typing that name) is a breath of fresh air. You face this particular Genma (bad demons?) three times as a boss encounter throughout Onimusha 2 and for the first two times, he is virtually unbeatable. He blocks and parries most attacks you send at him. If he hits you it devastates your health and sends you flying. He really lives up to his boast. Unlike a lot of the other demons you fight, however, Gogandantess is surprisingly honourable in his way. Rather than seeing you as just another human to kill he regards you as a rival. Given that he's known for killing an entire clan of Oni (good demons?) pretty much single handed this is a pretty big compliment.

In your final face off with him, you have an item that lowers his defences. This means you can now damage him. All you need to do is not let him damage you back. Onimusha's combat system (from my rose-tinted memory of it) is actually really great. Blocking and parrying attacks are quite easy to pull off. Combat can be tense but as long as your paying attention you can really take advantage of what's on offer. This fight, in particular, is the crowning jewel in Onimusha 2 as both you and Gogandantess have the same skills. It's one of the few boss fights in the series you have a proper sword fight and it feels so rewarding when you win.

The Onimusha series is a series that I picked up on a whim because it was Capcom and it was coming up to my dad's birthday one year without a Resident Evil to get him. I'm glad I took the chance on it because now both he and I rank it as one of favourite game series. PS2 era, if you can get the chance to play through them then forgive the dated graphics and combat and enjoy an enjoyable story and fun gameplay.