REVIEW - Watch_Dogs 2 - Flu Shots For Everyone!

Forgive me the "Hackers" reference. If you don't get it consider yourself lucky having missed that particular 1995 film. Ever wondered how much trouble you can get into with just a smartphone and an internet connection? Watch_Dogs 2 has. See a thing, hack a thing, that's Watch_Dogs 2. Traffic lights, phones, helicopters, cars. There is very little you can't gain control of. You play as Marcus Holloway, a hacker in the group known as DedSec. While a lot of what you're told to do could be considered petty vandalism and digital shenanigans, the game can go into some scary concepts that aren't totally science fiction. What ultimately boils down to You vs. Big Brother is presented in a vibrant and light-hearted manner.

Let's focus on the characters. I like these kids in DedSec. I have little to no clue what they're talking about half the time but I think they're alright. Before starting the game I had a preconceived notion of being presented with a group of people who, for a lack of a better term, sucked. I played Watch_Dogs and the protagonist, Aiden, was one of the major detractors of the game. Marcus "Retr0" Holloway is the "hero" of the story and boy is he an upgrade. He cracks jokes, he's a smart ass without sounding too much like a dick and he's not on an "all or nothing" revenge rampage. I have a small gripe, he is a fantastic hypocrite. One side mission sees you condemning and punishing the actions of an online player who has been "SWATing" other players. (If you haven't heard the term, give it a Google, it's such a stupid thing to do) You complete the mission, said player suitably punished. Well done you, Mr Moral. Then you play any mission where you have to get past some guys. What's this upgrade you can get? Report a false crime against someone, have police take them away at gunpoint? How useful. Oh, I see what the issue is here, but Marcus doesn't seem to. Admittedly this is a mechanic you don't need to use. So like I said, "a small gripe".

The rest of the DedSec gang all have their little quirks and personalities that make them that much better to engage with. Josh is quiet and reserved when you first meet him but later he opens up and shows he is fiercely passionate about his work and loyal to his friends. Sitara is the PR expert for their DedSec group. She sees the operation as her own and her reactions to both its failures and successes are genuine and heartfelt. Horatio is the calm, level-headed one who manages to keep everyone together and focused when the shit hits the fan. Until Marcus shows up it seems pretty clear Horatio was the team leader. Now finally, and the best is indeed saved for last, we have Wrench. Loud, rude, sarcastic. I love him. He always has a comeback and will have your back in any fight that comes your way. One of his best features is the mask he always wears that he has programmed to emote how he's feeling.

This isn't an epic revenge story this time around. The plot touches on subjects like our reliance on modern technology and how information we give to the Internet can be there for anyone with the skills (or skillz) to take it and abuse it. As you progress through the game you are seen to both fight against and exploit these themes depending on the narrative. Each mission can feel like it's own self-contained story. This can make Watch_Dogs 2 feel a little schizophrenic at times, not really sure what message it's trying to convey. At a certain point late in the game, you are presented with a situation (without spoilers) that seems to just happen. You're left to deal with the aftermath of a mission then the game carries on as normal. Given the events that happen, it kind of felt like the developers realised they needed to raise the stakes emotionally but didn't quite know how to seal the deal. I enjoyed the ride I was taken on however and if a Watch_Dogs 3 were to happen I would be more than happy to see where they take it.

Can you imagine walking into an area you didn't belong, an office building for instance, and without so much as a count to three you're being shot at? In broad daylight. I'm not sure if this was Ubisoft's statement on gun control in America as it is but the A.I. needs to take a chill pill. I understand if you wander into gang turf thinking you'll have a wee rummage and getting blown away. But both police and security firms do the same thing! They have paperwork and a whole assortment of laws they've generally agreed to follow. It is easy in this game to sneak and get a lay of the land though, just deploy your drone or RC car and remotely hack from the comfort of your laptop half a block away. Or phone in a gang hit squad and create a little chaos. (I generally went for the latter) The heat of battle can get a little tense and on more of than one occasion I would send out my drone or RC car instead of opening the weapon wheel. Aside from that though, it all handles pretty well for all the mechanics that get thrown at you.

Would I recommend this game to a friend? (And if you've read this far, consider yourself a friend) Yes. Yes, I would. I enjoyed the story, the characters were both relatable and likeable. Some of the technical jargon went over my head but at the end of the day, I had fun hacking my way through a semi-fictional San Fransico. I even had fun with the multiplayer. It's not too intrusive and only pops up occasionally purely as a fun distraction from the usual mayhem. This has been my review, do with it what you will.

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REVIEW - Far Cry Primal - Dude, Where's My Mammoth?

Far Cry Primal piqued my interest when it was announced because it is set in 10,000B.C. (roughly 3 years after I was born) It is a departure from the series which has been your typical gun fest set in an exotic environment so far. All you have to defend yourself with here are bows, clubs and spears. Oh, also bee grenades. (Apparently prehistoric man invented crowd control, who knew?) Primal takes a lot of the same beats from the previous games: viewpoints (in the form of lighting bonfires),  enemy bases and forts (enemy settlements), animal hunts, shit tonnes of side missions and collectables. The skill tree is a little different in that it unlocks steadily as you receive key characters to your settlement. There is a bigger emphasis on hunts in this game as you are now able to tame a variety of predators to fight by your side. These range from badgers (of the honeyus dontgiveafuckus genus) to sabertooth tigers. Instead of vehicles, you can gain the ability to ride some of the animals to get around faster. (You know, aside from fast travel)

I will call him Squishy and he will be mine!

Let's start with what I enjoyed with Primal. Imagine you are tasked with infiltrating an enemy settlement. Now you could hope there is a convenient ledge nearby to scope out the situation and get a bead on the enemy locations. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. Enter your trusty owl, able to fly overhead undetected tagging all the hostiles and friendlies it can see. Now you have a better chance of moving around undetected. Maybe you want to even the odds. You can have your owl buddy take out one of the enemies (provided you've unlocked the skill) or drop a bee bomb or two to get things started. Now you get to work taking out villains with your bow. I love the bow. I've loved it since Far Cry 3. Deadly and stealthy, exactly what I look for in a woman weapon. Being the games only good ranged weapon (the spear doesn't quite cut it in my opinion) you will spend a lot of time using it. Possibly the most satisfying sight is seeing an arrow leave your bow and seconds later watching an enemy go down with a headshot. Splendid. Finally, but by no means least, we have the bee and berserk bombs. (I'm not including fire bombs, they didn't interest me as much) As I said, crowd control was invented by primitive man. With your bee bombs, you can immobilise a group so you can either get the drop on them or move unnoticed to a new hiding spot. Berserk bombs add a little chaos to an infiltration. If you're running a little low on ammunition and don't have the resources for more, just have the enemy turn on themselves and save you the hassle. For me these are the high points of the game, they even almost make forget what I don't like. Almost.

Here is where the game lets me down. Bosses are just regular enemies with health bars you have to deplete. Just making them hit harder and tougher to kill isn't enough. As I have recently ranted about, there are so many damn collectables it's just crazy. Rocks with hands painted on them, mounted masks to smash, totems to place. At the end of the day you receive some bonus experience for doing these things, maybe even a sweet, sweet trophy and the knowledge that you'll never get that time back. Now let's focus on the activities the game throws at you to keep you occupied. Escort: get a fellow tribesman from A to B without dying. NO! No escort missions ever, sincerely Literally everyone ever. Defend the tribesmen: Seriously, can I not take a stroll through the wilderness for longer than 5 minutes without some chumps needing my personal assistance. Kill the target: Do I not kill enough faceless cavemen making this side quest redundant? Right, maybe the story will be engaging enough I can ignore all the detritus that passes for game content. I wish I could say it was. You are in the role of Takkah, seemingly the only person that can sneak, shoot straight, heal and talk to animals. Yes, talk to animals. It is your job to rebuild your tribe and fight back against two other tribes: the cannibalistic Udam and the arsonist Izila. The way I see it you are just one of three tribes and the only reason you can be considered the good guys is you don't eat people or set them on fire. You do set your pet [insert tamed predator here] on them and actually do set people on fire if you so wish but thankfully this game is set before morality was invented. Even your supporting cast can only really be differentiated by their physical attributes. You have One-Eye guy, One-Arm guy, Shaman guy, Ear-necklace lady and Hunter lady. There's a few more but frankly, they are so bland you could sit any one of them next to a glass of milk and forget which of the two was full of bone-enriching calcium.

Graphically Primal is spotless. The environments cycling from day to night to day are amazing. The environments are lush and full of life. Even heading north to the colder snowy region of the map the scenery becomes bleak but it still looks beautiful. The detail of the character models (if not their personalities) are near lifelike without venturing into the uncanny valley. Cinematics within the game uses the in-game engine which means there is a fluidity between gameplay and cutscenes. Immersion is further sweetened with the music. It's not overstated and only really kicks in during missions and combat. It works thematically however with its drums and tribal chanting so much, in fact, I even find myself singing along sometimes. The controls for Primal are kept pretty simple. You have your shooting, aiming, crouching and jumping where you would expect them. The d-pad is used to summon your owl buddy, left brings up your tamed predator list, right for herb mixing and down to throw a rock. All pretty easy to navigate with two thumbs and a pair of eyes. Story wise, like I said, you don't have a great motivation to see it through to the end. I found this with previous instalments as well. Characterisation is a little thin on the ground and main bosses are pretty generic bad attitudes with a following. Content and gameplay, on the other hand, could have done with a little fine tuning. A few examples of what I consider good game content can be found in previous posts. Here you are left with samey side missions and a few fucktons worth of items to stuff your pockets with.

Would I recommend Far Cry Primal? No. A chance to play a shooter without guns can be a novelty but it isn't a selling point. Before I played it I thought this would be the Far Cry for me. I wanted to run around a massive open environment hunting animals and exploring caves with nothing but my bows and arrows. I now see the meaning behind "Be careful what you wish for". There is so much to see with nothing to really do. Play Far Cry Blood Dragon instead. It's shorter but the 80s sci-fi action nods just make me smile from start to finish. Plus, you know, dragons.

Imagine your favourite crappy 80s movie.
Now imagine that was a game.