REVIEW - Sonic Mania - Good Things Come To Those Who Wait (23 Years)

Title: Sonic Mania
Developer: Christian Whitehead, Headcannon, SEGA of America & PagodaWest Games
Publisher: SEGA
Platform: PlayStation 4 (reviewed), Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, PC
Release: 15th August 2017 (29th August 2017 for PC)

Right, first things first. I promise this is the last I'll talk about Sonic the Hedgehog in any capacity for a while. As I quickly glance back at some of my posts I see I may have mentioned him and his associates a few times. Sonic Mania is the new, delightfully pixilated sequel to Sonic and Knuckles that only took 23 years to get to us. (What 3D Sonic titles? You speak nonsense, away you loon!)

Taking place after the events of Sonic and Knuckles (quick recap: Sonic stops Robotnik collecting the Chaos Emeralds again) you encounter a new bunch of rotund goons called the Hard-Boiled Heavies successfully extracting the Phantom Ruby (a brand new MacGuffin) from its hidden location. This causes Sonic, Tails and Knuckles to be transported to familiar yet revamped versions of Zones from previous Sonic titles. (Including a few that didn't make the cut the first time round) To keep the old-school fans happy, the first level is Green Hill Zone complete with its iconic music and initial level layout. Straight away you can see that a lot of work has gone into the game. More frames of animation and more detailed environments make this game a complete joy to look at. If you've got time to look at it that is. This is Sonic the Hedgehog. You should be running as fast as you can, rolling into Badniks and grabbing all those precious, lifesaving rings. Gameplay is exactly as you remember it. Get hit, lose rings. get hit without rings, lose a life. Lose all your lives, GAME OVER!

Every level plays so fluidly. In my experience, there haven't been any cheap platforming sections that made me want to rage-quit. (Like games of a certain age tend to do) The new remixed levels are an excellent blend of classic nostalgia with fresh ideas. You can be jumping about on springs one minute then being forced through a giant popcorn machine the next. Some of the level obstacles are daft but they only add to the fun of the game. Checkpoints throughout the levels ding and spin as you pass them, offering up the classic bonus level from Sonic 3. These reward you (if you can successfully change all the blue balls red) with a silver or gold token. These are used to unlock the game's debug mode and sound test amongst others. The real bonus levels are hidden throughout the Zones. To access them you have to jump into giant rings that teleport you to a 3D circuit (in homage to Sonic R from 1997) where you chase a Choas Emerald until you catch it. Obviously, it's not that simple. There's a timer that's determined by how many rings you collect as you run around and you also have to build up speed by collecting little blue orbs. Chaos Emeralds are Earned. I'm overjoyed with pretty much everything this game has thrown at me. Pretty much...

Bosses are probably the one aspect of the game that I found can be very hit or miss. Every Zone is split into two. Part one ends with a mini-boss, which was introduced back in Sonic 3. These are your run-of-the-mill, tough robot jerks with that take about 6 or 7 hits to take down. Most of them are pretty basic, attack it when there's an opening, dodge it when they attack. Their designs are fun and emulate the style used years ago beautifully. Sometimes they can require a little trial and error, but for the most part, they telegraph their patterns pretty obviously. Main bosses, however, are a beast of a different nature. Some of them have made me laugh with how inventive they've been or with the concepts they've used. I won't spoil them as they are genuinely a joy to discover by yourself. Then there are the bosses that you have to wonder if the designers secretly hate you (yes, YOU) and don't want you to finish their otherwise brilliant game. Again, I don't want to spoil anything but let's say trying to smash something into a wall while simultaneously dodging projectiles made me stop for a relaxing scream and a calming storm from the room.

The music is a crowning achievement in nostalgia-jerking goodness. (Nostalgia-jerking is a thing, you just may not have heard of it shutup) Like the level layouts, they start as your classic tracks and blend with new music or other old tunes to create a sound that is a joy to listen to. I've always been a massive fan of the chip-tune music of the early series and here is no exception. Every little spring and ring have the original chime, the spin dash has the satisfying drill noise. The best thing? Sonic doesn't have an annoying voice. In fact, no one does. Everything is acted out using the cute, spritey animations. This was created by a team of people that have been modding and creating their own unofficial Sonic games for years. Because of this, this final product feels very much like a loved project that has been given the kind of attention to detail that a lot of AAA games don't seem to get nowadays. I digress. This game is great. So you may have guessed the answer to the question I always ask.

Would I recommend Sonic Mania to you? Yes! I've grinned ear to ear since I first booted the game up. That's literally all I have to say. (Aside from all that stuff above that I've already said above)

Available digitally on PlayStation Store (£15.99), Xbox Store (£15.99), Nintendo Store (£15.99) & Steam (14.99) Also available in physical form for various prices, as ever shop wisely.

REVIEW - Sundered - New H.P. Lovecraft Look, Same Metroidvania Taste

Name: Sundered
Developer: Thunder Lotus Games
Publisher: Thunder Lotus Games
Platform: PlayStation 4 (reviewed), PC, Linux
Released: July 28th, 2017

Sundered is a beautiful game. It was the main draw for me when I first saw it on Kickstarter. From the animations of the main character, Eshe, to the gigantic bosses and backgrounds of each area, everything is hand drawn. Some of the intricate detail is amazing, creating some striking visuals that wouldn't look as good if the game were in any way 3D. Coupled with music that's a little unnerving you are left feeling very isolated and vulnerable as you explore, fight and occasionally flee your way around the mysterious, Lovecraftian world you find yourself in.

When you start the game you have hardly any health, no power-ups, no upgrades to strength or armour. Only a voice introducing itself as The Trapezohedron, offering to become your weapon to help you fight for your survival and escape. From your starting area, the "Sanctuary", you have nowhere to go but down. Everything is a bit quiet at first, some might say "too quiet". You poke about a bit more, doing your best to avoid spikes and heading towards a part of the map marked with a mask. Getting there you unlock your first ability, the shield. Finally, you think to yourself, those spikes were tearing through my health. A gong sounds. At first, you think it's part of the music but then enemies start pouring in from both sides of the screen. You can fight them off but most likely you'll die. You die quite often in Sundered. Dying isn't the end though. Killing enemies and smashing objects earns you shards that you can use to buff various stats from damage to luck. When you come back to life you are back in The Sanctuary. Now you have access to The Trapezohedron's Tree.

Now it's time to buff yourself up. Hitting harder and being able to take more of a beating are the obvious routes when levelling up but the luck attribute is important as it determines how many shards enemies drop when beaten. Each stage of the tree requires you to spend three times on it before you can move past it. The price of the upgrade increases by 5 each time so at later stages of the game, it really starts to cost you for the basics. (I'm currently shelling out over 1000 per upgrade) Jumping back into the fray, you are better equipped to make it further, reaching new locations with bosses and new upgrades. At random points during exploration, the gong will sound again and the hoard will arrive. Depending on the location this can get a little overwhelming. This is kind of the point in terms of the setting for Sundered but at times it can feel like the game is being difficult for difficulties sake. Later, coupled with platforming sections that require a high amount of precision, you have the perfect reason to rage-quit and walk away for a few hours. As I've said though, dying just gives you an opportunity to upgrade yourself and push further into the game's mysteries and doesn't feel like the grind that a lot of games fall into.

A few issues so far. When the action gets high on screen the frame rate can drop to a point where you'll freeze then appear a few steps further than you were. This can throw you off in the flow of combat or make you miss time a jump which can be a little frustrating if you're in a tense situation. Loading screens are quite long if heading into a new area. This can be taken into account as large sections of the map are randomised and change every time you die or leave the area. (It has been optimised with a recent patch but can still drag a little) A couple of times I've encountered the game crashing on the loading screen or during a particularly intense amount of frame rate slow down. Most of these problems have been addressed by Thunder Lotus and steps taken to help fix them. They've been very open with their backers and with the public in general that if there is a problem then they are there to listen and help where possible which is reassuring. The patch that fixed a few of the problems also introduced the "Backer Rooms" which consists of around 50 people (5 per backer room) hand drawn into the game, providing the player with various timed buffs. These appear randomly but can provide some much-needed support such as increased agility or luck.

Each section of the game contains three mini-bosses and the main boss. In the first area, you can tackle any of the mini-bosses in any order and even challenge the big bad if you're strong (or crazy) enough. The mini-bosses reward you with an increased amount of shards for beating them and a fragment of Eldar Shard. Beating a main boss earns you one full Eldar Shard. These are the games important MacGuffin. Collecting three fragments makes one whole Eldar Shard and with it, you have the option to corrupt one of the abilities you've obtained (by revisiting the shrine you received it) or destroy it (by taking it to the Furnace). The tagline for the game is "Resist or Embrace". Either you destroy these shards and maintain your humanity or corrupt your abilities and become closer to the monsters you're fighting. (I took the "resist" option and can't go into detail on how the abilities change after corruption) For the most part, the "resist" path has felt pretty rewarding, allowing me to upgrade my various basic attacks. The game is easy enough to pick up and play that I'm more than willing to start a second play through to see what the "embrace" path has to offer.

Perks can be equipped that have both advantages and disadvantages. (Though most often one perks advantages can cancel out another's disadvantage) These can be from increasing attack strength 25% to earning health back per attack. Equipping the right ones for the right kind of run can really give you the edge in the more difficult areas later on. (I've had a "bonus exp" with zero disadvantages equipped since pretty much the start of the game) Exploration of the map is kept in check by enemy difficulty or requiring a specific ability to unlock a path. (Much like your classic Metroid games) While that can sound limiting it's implemented in such a way that you're still left to explore a vast area without feeling boxed in. Enemies can always be beaten and if there's the promise of a new ability somewhere then there's the excitement of finding out what it is.

Would I recommend this game to you? If you've missed the 2D Metroidvania hack-and-slash genre like I have then yes, this game is well worth your time and money. The right level of challenging combat mixed with some stunning visuals and gameplay makes this an excellent (spiritual) successor.

Available PlayStation Store (£15.99), and Steam (£14.99)

BOSS RUSH - Like a Boss

• Royal Sovereign & HMS Fearless - Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag
  

Avast! You're sailing the Caribbean Seas, looting towns, singing shanties and sending Her Majesty's fleet to the murky depths, in search of... something related to Assassin's Creeds convoluted story. (I dunno) The Jackdaw is your ship and she sees you through some rough waters and even rougher sea battles.

Throughout the game, you'll get yourself into some pretty tight situations. None more so than the Legendary Ship battles. These are located on the outskirts of the map so you don't accidentally engage one before you're ready. (Don't be a hero, unless you have maximum armour and cannons don't even consider these fights) There are four of them in total, each rewarding you with some of the best upgrades for your ship. By far my favourite one is being beset by twin Man-O-Wars, Royal Sovereign and HMS Fearless, both of them racing towards you faster than any other ship of their size has any right to move at. I've talked about laughing and bosses giving me a good time as I fought them. This battle, and to a lesser extent the others, gave me The Fear. This isn't a standard fight where you can take potshots and if all else fails to ram them. A standard man-o-war has 32 cannons on one side. That's 64 total. Together these guys can hit you with that in one go, reducing your beautiful ship to bloody matchsticks in seconds. That's their main tactic. (Friendly fire must be off or something because they do shit all damage to each other) They also pelt you with mortar fire if you decide to try and keep your distance. Your only real option is to go in fast, strafe (in a large wooden vessel) and focus on taking down their health as evenly as possible. Why evenly, you ask? As soon as you take down either one of these monsters the other becomes faster and more aggressive. You know, just like real boats...

The sea battles in this game are excellent are one of its best aspects. (Aside from singing along to the sea shanties at full volume until you realise you aren't in the house by yourself) The Legendary Ships are the ultimate test of skill as even with your ship being as upgraded as it can get they still require the knowledge on how to manoeuvre effectively and an understanding of your ships weapons.

• Guard Scorpion - Final Fantasy VII
  

First bosses should set a certain standard in an RPG. If they can a) turn up within the first hour, b) be reasonably tougher than the enemies you've encountered thus far and c) have a mechanic that makes you think about how you choose your actions then you have a solid contender for "Top First Boss". Enter Guard Scorpion, a massive red robot scorpion with laser beams and guns and a big drill tail. (Probably something you'd have drawn when you were 5. Still cool though...)

You start the fight and think to yourself "Okay, here's a slightly bigger enemy than the previous effort". Fights up until now have been over within about five turns. After five turns of this encounter, you start to realise why it probably wasn't a good idea to be downing your limited amount of health-restoring potions like so much sweet lemonade. First off you're going to want to keep zapping this guy in the head with lightning. (REAL LIGHTNING) He has about 800HP and the lightning damage can do up to about 100 a hit. 8 times you think to yourself (after some quick mental arithmetic) this clown is going the way of the robot dinosaurs. It goes pretty well for the first few rounds then something happens. The camera changes position and Guard Scorpion raises its tail. You're then warned that in this stance attacking the boss will trigger a counter-attack. Like the curious player that I am (coupled with the fact I'd literally just saved) I think "fuck it, what's the worst that can happen". The worst comes in the form of a laser that hits your entire party for a pretty severe amount of damage for that point of the game. Lesson learned, if you can't attack but need to select an action then heal or guard.
It's not the most informative tutorial. It leaves it to your common sense to fill in the blanks. Like when your mum tells you not to touch the iron when it's still hot. Or scrape ice with your fingers then lick the ice over and over again. You are duly warned, it's up to you to resist the temptation. Hmm now that I think about it maybe this boss fight resonates with me for reasons I hadn't thought of... (Freezer burns suck)

• Dr Robotnik - Sonic the Hedgehog
  

In the last 8 months, I think I've mentioned Robotnik quite a few times on here. I make no apologies. You never forget your first... video game antagonist. For games that came out in the early nineties, Robotnik knows how to show up in style. Your speeding through the Green Hill Zone, collecting rings and smashing Badniks. Suddenly the screen stops moving and the music changes. (And what music *French chef kiss of approval*)

In floats Robotnik, at first seemingly in an unarmed little spaceship. He flies to the centre of the screen, gives the screen a cheeky wee grin then unleashes that big money ball. You're then left running from one side of the screen to the other, dodging and jumping over the good doctors massive, swinging euphemism. The combat is pretty simple and really just teaches you that while this is a game about moving fast you also have to be mindful of timing. After a handful of blows, you beat Robotnik and his ball and chain break off. (Read into that what you will) He then about turns and scarpers off the screen like he's just realised he left the oven on leaving you to wander over and free all the bunnies and birdies he was going to turn into robots.

I like most of the original designs for Robotnik's machines from the early games because they all worked off the same basic model. While this can sound limiting it forced the designers to not only try and keep the designs unique but also thematic for each level. Nowadays he keeps turning up in some sort of Disney knock-off Gundam suit and generally does a lot of pissing about with lightning and lasers. What happened to you, Robotnik? You used to be cool.

• Gogandantess - Onimusha 2
  

GOGANDANTESS! Greatest Swordsman of all the Demons! That's how this guy enters a room. He makes me pretty happy. In a game where the comic relief generally comes from your allies, Gogandantess (wow, I'm going to get tired of typing that name) is a breath of fresh air. You face this particular Genma (bad demons?) three times as a boss encounter throughout Onimusha 2 and for the first two times, he is virtually unbeatable. He blocks and parries most attacks you send at him. If he hits you it devastates your health and sends you flying. He really lives up to his boast. Unlike a lot of the other demons you fight, however, Gogandantess is surprisingly honourable in his way. Rather than seeing you as just another human to kill he regards you as a rival. Given that he's known for killing an entire clan of Oni (good demons?) pretty much single handed this is a pretty big compliment.

In your final face off with him, you have an item that lowers his defences. This means you can now damage him. All you need to do is not let him damage you back. Onimusha's combat system (from my rose-tinted memory of it) is actually really great. Blocking and parrying attacks are quite easy to pull off. Combat can be tense but as long as your paying attention you can really take advantage of what's on offer. This fight, in particular, is the crowning jewel in Onimusha 2 as both you and Gogandantess have the same skills. It's one of the few boss fights in the series you have a proper sword fight and it feels so rewarding when you win.

The Onimusha series is a series that I picked up on a whim because it was Capcom and it was coming up to my dad's birthday one year without a Resident Evil to get him. I'm glad I took the chance on it because now both he and I rank it as one of favourite game series. PS2 era, if you can get the chance to play through them then forgive the dated graphics and combat and enjoy an enjoyable story and fun gameplay.

RECOMMEND - Enter the Gungeon + The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth - Double Feature Retro Madness

Time for a double whammy of sweet pixelated goodness. I've had both The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth (from Nicalis) and Enter the Gungeon (from Dodge Roll) installed on my PS4 for a few years now. They are amazing. I'm going to spend the next few minutes of your time to try and convince you of that.

The elevator is a bullet, they really run with that theme

First off, both of these games are extremely tough. Don't let the cute art style fool you. I have no idea how many times I've died in both games altogether. (Although Isaac has a death count. I'm sitting a little shy of 200 at the time of writing) You start with three hearts. Enemies do half a heart of damage per hit. This can mean some "runs" in either game can end pretty quickly.

"Yeah, sounds great Gavin. I love dying in videogames." - Everyone ever

Fear not! These games are going to equip you with the weapons and power-ups you need to defend yourself and push through to the end. The best part is the more you play, the more of these items you'll unlock so even though you might die you could be better equipped for the next run. In The Binding of Isaac, for instance, you fire your tears to kill enemies. As you might expect that isn't the most efficient way of clearing a room. The power-ups range from your tears bouncing or acting like boomerangs to becoming lasers that can home in on your enemies. Each floor, to a certain point, will have a room that gives you a new ability and you also receive one for beating the boss of the floor. There are also shops where an upgrade will be on offer for a price. These powers can stack in a multitude of awesome ways meaning the screen can be filled with death for the enemy. For a game where you start off relatively weak, it can be really empowering to clear rooms in a few seconds.

Yup, those giant coins are my "tears"

Enter the Gungeon has you play as one of a selection of characters with a dark and shady past. Your goal is to reach the bottom of the Gungeon and obtain the "Gun That Can Kill the Past". With that, you can go and rewrite history. Sounds fun, huh? You are equipped with a pretty basic gun to get you started. Bang bang, reload. Does the job but isn't really anything special. On each floor, there will be two chest rooms containing a new gun or upgrade. The number of guns and items in this game is incredible. Pretty much every one of them is a pop culture reference ranging from heart containers from Zelda to a gun called the Laser Lotus, a reference to the excellent sitcom Community. The descriptions for each weapon can go into further details that have often had me burst out laughing. Each run of these games is randomly generated so no two runs are the same. For me, with the increasing number of rewards to pick up, this makes it such an addictive experience. I've had Isaac for longer and easily spent around 150+ hours playing it. Gungeon isn't that far off. (FACT: I've been trying to write this for 3 weeks and every time I go to grab screenshots for either I end up playing it for about 2 hours, screenshotting nothing in the process)

That's a small portion of the "Gun" screen

Enter the Gungeon operates as a top-down shooter, using one analogue stick to move and the other to aim your weapon. R1 fires and square reloads your weapon. (Like most regular shooters) L1 initiates a dodge roll mechanic which can become the difference between life and death in later levels. This can create a fast paced, tense encounter in any given room. (Though especially in some of the boss encounters) To my knowledge, there are multiple endings to the game with one for each of the characters as well as a "TRUE" ending.

Actually one of my favourite bosses, despite the laser
eye vision

It received a major update back in January that added a bunch more guns, items and even more enemies to the game. It came as a free patch which was pretty great. As I've said, the art style is very cartoony, opting for an almost Saturday morning cartoon vibe and with the addition of its very many pop culture references I would say this would make a very welcome addition to your game collection. Currently it's going for £10.99 on the PlayStation Network for PS4 and the same on Steam and Xbox One.

Enter the Gungeon, they said. It'll be fun, they said

The Binding of Isaac has you play as Isaac or one of a number of alternate versions of him. You are, first and foremost, trying to escape from your psychotic Mother. Deeper into the cellar you go through you find darker forces at work. The game operates with one stick to move and the other to shoot. There isn't a fire button. The direction you're facing is the direction you fire in. There isn't a dodge mechanic either, you move around each room firing your tears at enemies while trying to out manoeuvre them and their projectiles. Depending on the power-ups you can pick up this can become a "bullet-hell" situation for your enemies, clearing a room in seconds. However, Isaac isn't above throwing a few curve balls your way. Some pick-ups can harm you just as much as help. Remember the "coin tear" picture above? Those had the boomerang effect added to them creating the cool "X" formation of tears. I stupidly picked up a power-up I shouldn't have that turned all my tears into bombs. (Bomb + boomerang = me swearing a lot and starting a new run)  

Oh yeah, the "Win Streak" is quite happy to remind you
how often you've lost in a row

The Binding of Issac: Rebirth has one add-on pack, Afterbirth. With that comes so much more content including; power-ups, bosses, enemies. Even floor layouts. It easily added and extra 100+ hours of game for those hungry to dive into it's madness again. As you may have seen from the screenshots, and some of the references I've used, Isaac isn't geared for everyone in terms of tone. Think Ren and Stimpy if it was going to be aired past the watershed. (Which is saying something considering half the shit R&S got up to) I enjoy it mostly for the "let's see what combinations I get this time" gameplay rather than its particular brand of humour though.

Behold my "pain train" of little minions and tremble

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth is available for £11.99 with its add-on being an additional £8.99 for PS4. (Also available on Steam, Xbox One and Switch) I picked up both in a sale so would advise the same if just to get an amazing game for cheapsies. Oh, did I mention both of these games have couch co-op? They do. It's pretty great. Please consider these two brilliant games next time you have a spare bit of cash to burn. (Plus who could say no to this face?) Kisses.

This screen appears when booting up Gungeon on PS4
It makes me so happy

LIST - Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. Sometimes the hero needs backup and shouldn't feel ashamed for asking for it. Especially if the backup comes in the form of any of these fine individuals.

• Wrench - Watch_Dogs 2
  

I talked about him in the Watch Dogs 2 review because for me he was such an asset to the game as a whole. Possibly the best of all the DedSec kids was Wrench. He cracked wise. He built robots and modified your car with nitrous. He constantly wore a mask that displayed emoticons to show how he was feeling and rocked about in a studded leather coat. While this would make him seem like an antisocial douchebag, he is far from it. The tight-knit DedSec group is, at times, held together by his fierce loyalty and desire to work together to fight for what is right. He has your back in every fight and is willing to get roughed up by Federal agents at one point to protect your whereabouts.

There is one scene in the game where I think Wrench shines. You're meeting him at a cafe to start a mission. While talking to him it's apparent he is trying to get the waitresses attention while simultaneously not wanting to catch her eye. You, as Marcus, notice this and question him about it. He explains that he likes her but doesn't know if she keeps staring at him because she likes him back or if she thinks he's weird. You finish your conversation and are about to leave when you turn to the waitress and ask her if she thinks Wrench is weird. She says she does but is kind of into it. Wrench's reaction is priceless and as you leave they sit down together and start talking. I loved this exchange because it gave Wrench another side that hadn't been shown before that point. Despite his tough looking exterior and sometimes abrasive humour, he is just in need of a friend. 

I thought it was a refreshing change from the one dimensional "tough guy" characters that seem to appear for us to be "wow, they so cool!". He felt like an actual person you would know and could relate to.  

• Weighted Companion Cube - Portal
  

The Aperture Science labs can be hostile. (Which is a mild way to put it) You have no friends. The only voice you can hear is cold and analytical. You are alone. Then it happens. You enter a new Test Chamber and Weighted Companion Cube is sitting there, waiting for you. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a voice to express the joy of meeting you but it does have a big heart on each side so there's that I suppose.

Companion Cube comes to you at your most desperate hour. There is science in these chambers that one person alone can't solve. It is up to the two of you to form the strongest of bonds and depress some giant red buttons together. Only then will you discover the truest friendship in video gaming history. Portals and turrets and doors and switches are nothing compared to the righteous partnership of you and Weighted Companion Cube. Science is at your mercy. Now there's just one more door. One more switch. It's time to part ways. It's fine though, all you have to do is carry Cube over to the... eh... "Emergency Intelligence Incinerator". Without a second thought you drop WCC in, the hatch closes and the door opens. Congratulations.

You monster.

• Ashley Graham (Armoured) - Resident Evil 4
  

Wait wait. I know. She's a needy, whiney little shit for the most part. In need of constant saving from being carried off by villagers, cultists, spiky hell monsters, the list goes on. (Something that causes Game Over if not dealt with quickly enough) Every scene she's with you gets turned into an escort mission. (And we love them I know) So what is she doing on a list of companions that are invaluable?

Easy. When equipped with the armour that you can see to your right she not only becomes invincible, she can't be carried off by afore mentioned nasties. I know this is a hell of a caveat to get someone on this list, especially considering she is arguably one of gamings most annoying companions. (Hmm, new list idea right there) Also, the armour is an unlockable item so you can't just stick her in it from the get go. It is a massive game changer though, making later levels a lot more manageable on higher difficulties. You no longer have to desperately scan the room every time you hear "Help! LEON!" and catch a glimpse of her slung over a captors shoulder like a bag of blonde potatoes. Every enemy that tries to pick her up collapses under the weight of her, attacks bounce off her. She essentially becomes invaluable due to her new ability to be completely disregarded while you fight a room full of pitchfork wielding bumpkins.

Strangely enough, she was my inspiration for this entire list. I'm as confused as you.

• Miles "Tails" Prower - Sonic the Hedgehog
  

Sonic, for the most part, can handle himself pretty well. He runs about jumping on springs and Badniks, collecting rings and beating Robotnik. Sounds like a simple enough life. Sometimes he needs a hand. That comes in the form of Tails, twin-tailed fox and pilot extraordinaire. While initially just a way for two people to play Sonic 2 at once, Tails piloting skills are invaluable in the Sky Chase Zone level where they fly towards Robotnik and his Wing Fortress.

Sonic 3 has Tails' ability to fly using his tails upgraded. This means when playing as him there are areas that only he can reach, containing bonus rings, lives and shields. If two player is enabled Sonic can jump and grab hold of Tails' hands, allowing him to reach these inaccessible areas too. (And who doesn't want more rings?) You don't see Daxter providing that kind of support to Jak. The other example of a sidekick being that useful is Clank from the Ratchet and Clank series.

Regardless of your opinion of Tails as a person (fox), it can't be denied that without him Sonic would have had a hard time fighting Robotnik in the early years of the franchise.

• Issun - Okami
  

Issun is a lazy, pervy little travelling artist who mooches off the kindness and patience of Amaterasu, goddess of the sun in the form of a white wolf. Coming in at around an inch tall, he is by far the smallest companion on the list. Now what I've described so far isn't exactly what you would consider "best sidekick" material. For all of Issun's faults, however, he has a heart of gold and grows throughout the events of Okami (as a person, not in height) in a way that few have in anything I've played.

While Amaterasu (or "Ammy" as he calls her) is more than capable of defending herself (being a god and all), Issun provides much-needed support in the form of his Celestial Brush techniques. With these, he can put ink to paper and use it to slash enemies, revitalise dead trees (which is a bigger deal than you might imagine) and manipulate fire and water to help Ammy save the land of Nippon from the eight-headed dragon, Orochi, and his army of demons. He develops from a self-centered free-loader to someone who would lay down his life to save the world. (And the 60+ hour journey in between is pretty awesome too)

The closing act of the games shows a completely different Issun as the one you start with. Some of the events in Okami are the best I've played in a game and while the game itself is good enough to recommend to you, the inclusion of Issun makes it pretty unforgettable. (It's available for PS2, PS3 and the Wii. If you have an opportunity to play it please do)

• Ellie - The Last of Us
  

When the majority of the world's population has been wiped out by a mysterious fungal infection that turns people into murderous mushroom zombies, life is going to become pretty tough. Now imagine you're immune to that infection. Happy days. Looks like everything is going to be alright for Ellie here. Or not. One group wants her to develop a cure and don't mind how violent they have to be to get her, another group act pretty much the same. Oh, then there are the bandits who would probably do worse for the sake of being aggressive arseholes and the aforementioned 'shroom zombos. Suddenly the world is back to being shit. Just as well you have Joel to look after you. A man who lost his daughter at the start of this outbreak. (In one of many scenes in this game that made me feel feelings) Of course, this is a list of how the companion is awesome, not the protagonist. (Sorry Joel)

Ellie is as tough as they come, having experienced her own share of heartbreak as a result of the outbreak. She doesn't take shit from anyone, is capable of taking down fully grown adults (when pushed) and adapts to the various fucked up situations she finds herself in quickly. My favourite part of the game is when you play as her when Joel is out of commission, leading to some of the best story relating to trust and companionship that is rarely dealt with so well in games. There are some beautiful scenes between Joel and Ellie and throughout the game, the relationship (which starts off as prickly as it can get) becomes very much a father/daughter dynamic. This culminates in one of the best endings I've ever seen and to this day, 4 years later, I haven't been blown away nearly as much as The Last of Us got me. (Again, I felt feelings)

Hopefully aside from displaying some of the best company you could hope for while you travel any given video game, this list has encouraged you to play some of the amazing games the characters are from. May you find a companion that helps you through the game of life. Kisses.

REVIEW - Crash Bandicoot N.Sane Trilogy - Orange Was The New Blue

Name: Crash Bandicoot N.Sane Trilogy

Developer: Vicarious Visions

Publisher: Activision

Platform: PlayStation 4

Well, look who it is. It's everyone's favourite spinning mascot. (Eh, the orange one, not the blue one) Yes, Crash Bandicoot is back and ready to relive his first three adventures. Time to game like it's 1996! And '97 and '98. (Jeez, yearly releases. Who did it think it was? Assassin's Creed?)

First off, the game looks lovely. The backgrounds and character designs have been remade shiny and new for our eyes to appreciate. (I did fiddle about with the buttons at one point to see if I could switch between old and new but alas no) New cutscenes add a bit more depth to the overall story and additional voice acting round off the experience nicely. The gameplay itself, however, seems to have remained much the same. This isn't a bad thing but when starting it up you have to remember that 3D platforming in the mid-90s was still in its early stages. For a 20-year-old set of games, they stand up pretty well. Some of the levels later in each of the games require the precision of a highly trained assassin to land specific jumps. The timing of certain obstacles becomes a memory game of trial and error. Crash Bandicoot does not hold your hand basically. You get a wee reminder in the corner of the screen telling you how to jump and spin at the start then your left to jump and spin your way through the rest of the game. While the levels can provide a steep challenge at times they remain fun and reminiscent of a time 3D platform games were the go-to genre for most gamers.

All the music is either the original or slightly modified version of the iconic soundtrack. (I've had the main menu music stuck in my head in work for the best part of a week now) All the sound effects from the "shwoop" of a wumpa fruit to the "aboogada" of an Aku Aku pick up are the originals. It's small touches like that that make the remaster feel like it was a passion project for those making it. (Vicarious Visions having been involved with various Crash related projects in the past this come as no surprise) Even Naughty Dog themselves have gone on record to say they are "very pleased and touched" by the efforts of Vicarious Vision on the CB remaster.

There are a few new features added to keep fans of the originals eager to play the series again. You can now play as Crash's sister, Coco, in most of the levels. (Excluding boss fights and a few select levels) She handles much the same as her brother with the spinning and the jumping. Rather inexplicably there are three gold trophies on offer for killing five enemies as her in each of the games. (I have no idea what makes her so special) For the most part, the character swap is just a fun cosmetic change. (Unless someone has experienced something different, let me know) While there were always checkpoints in the originals, this time the game will put a few extra in if you keep dying at a specific point. (It's probably one of the few times the game will extend an olive branch) On the world map you can save/load your game at the touch of a button and autosave has been added. (There's even a throwback that made me laugh until I remembered it made me feel old)

Time trials have been added to all the levels in the first and second games as well as returning to the third instalment. While some of the levels in Crash seem made for speed running, a lot of the later levels can have you waiting for openings and throw unexpected hazards at you that make the fun of beating the clock feel a little too much of a chore. Needless to say, as some of the game's trophies are tied into getting Gold times on all levels I won't be receiving "dat plat" anytime soon. (Or ever) Loading screens are long. A little too long for a game that came out 20 years ago and has essentially just had a facelift. During these screens, you'll be given a little hint for that level, either a tip for beating the boss or that beating the level without dying and breaking all the boxes gets you a special Gem. (These levels are mostly in the last third of the original game, making it some of the most frustrating gaming since I last picked up Bloodborne. No joke)

I want this on my tombstone

Maybe someday soon we'll get an announcement about a Crash Team Racing remaster. Oh, what a glorious day that would be. If you didn't play it the first time it was a pretty solid racing game akin to Diddy Kong Racing and Mario Kart. I Have my fingers crossed for that one. In the meantime, I still have my hog and my tiger. (I don't include the baby polar bear because I only really played the first and third Crash back in the day)

Would I recommend this game to you? Aye. It's hard as balls and doesn't reward you for your efforts like a lot of games do now but frankly, that's pretty refreshing. You have lives, you can get a game over and despite your best efforts you will still fail to get that collectable you've spent the best part of an hour trying to unlock. But in that process you hone your reaction times, you get a little more focused. (A cup fell off the counter the morning of writing this and I caught it without looking. Whispered a prayer to Saint Crash) Sticking on a few levels to pass the time is easy as you're not bogged down in a confusing narrative, you just run and spin and smash boxes until the level ends.

Most prices are at around the £30-£35 mark. Works out at roughly a tenner a game which I had no issue spending. Available for retail and download for Playstation 4.

BOSS RUSH - You're Not The Boss of Me Now

• Wheatley - Portal 2
  

Idiots with superiority complexes. You probably know a couple at least. Lording it over you like you couldn't find your arse with both hands. Wheatley is one such individual. He comes across as a bumbling yet endearing sidekick for the start of your adventure. He's just trying to help you escape the technological dungeon you've been trapped in for 999999? years. (And disturb as many birds nests as possible it seems)
After a brush with GLaDOS and subsequent fight, you install him as the new OS for the facility. There he is, waving you off as he sends your elevator up to the surface... Wait... he's just realised something. You'd make the perfect test subject for some of the new experiments his new found "intelligence" has conjured up. (Don't call him a moron, he doesn't like that) So you run like the little lab rat you are through a gauntlet of increasingly moronic, (ahem) sorry, challenging portal puzzles.
Once you finally meet up with him again, face to lightbulb, he welcomes you to HIS LAIR! A little over dramatic by most people's standards. He says he's watched the footage of you beating GLaDOS repeatedly and learned from her mistakes. Turning on the deadly neurotoxin and equipping himself with a bomb shield, Wheatley thinks himself unstoppable. Thankfully you have a plan. With the aid of GLaDOS you portal around the room, stunning him with bombs and attaching corrupted cores to his body. This is to ultimately get the whole system to reject him and get GLaDOS back in command. Up to a point, the plan is a success. The system releases the override button. You portal to it. You get blown up! Oh yeah, Wheatley booby trapped it. It doesn't look good. (Did I mention that the place is falling down around you? No? Probably because my skills at a linear narrative are as top notch as Wheatley's ability to Science) The roof falls in to reveal the Moon. As a last ditch attempt, you fire a portal onto the Moon, creating a vacuum that begins to suck everything into space. (Including you) After a brief struggle, with Wheatley being flung screaming into the void, you are pulled back by GLaDOS.
I haven't laughed so hard during a final boss battle. The humour of the Portal series is brilliant. When the Moon comes into view I had to pause the game because I saw what was coming and there were tears in my eyes. It was a perfect "look behind you/I'm not falling for that" moment that I can honestly not remember being used so well (if at all) in another game. 

• Poseidon - God of War 3
  

God of War games likes to open with a bang. Kratos has fought off krackens, the Colossus of Rhodes, the occasional Titan or two. God of War 3 starts with you climbing up the body of the Titan, Gaia, while she climbs Mt. Olympus. Zeus, being the grumpy curmudgeon that he is, doesn't appreciate you trampling over his nice mountain and sends his brother, Poseidon, to deal with you.

So you're 20 minutes into the game and you already have the God of the Sea on your case. Luckily at this stage, Kratos is an old hand at dispatching deities. Poseidon doesn't just phone it in because he's the first boss either. The Lord of all things Soggy rocks up with a body made of water, stone and seafood parts. He's got tentacles and a trident to boot and he's going to try to send you back down the mountain. (It's a bit like that show Gladiator, except slightly higher stakes. And tentacles)

Rolling around, taking desperate slashes at the King of Splashes, you have an awesome view of other Titans climbing alongside you. The fight itself takes place right on top of Gaia's head. Starting off with a bit of smack talk, Poseidon embeds his crab claw-tipped tentacles into her face while using his trident to throw lightning at you. After slashing the claws free Gaia takes the opportunity to smash Poseidon against the side of Olympus, pinning him in place. Kratos then goes one-on-one with the "head" of the beast, beating on him until the core where the real Poseidon is enclosed is revealed. A repeat assault on Gaia's face ensues. After fending him off the second time, Gaia throws a punch. (Considering she's the size of a mountain you can guess it's no love tap she's dishing out either) After a brief struggle, she lands her hit, knocking you through the "body" and sending Kratos and the real Poseidon onto a nearby cliff edge. As Kratos stands up you see the watery creature Poseidon had created melt away down the mountain side.
Now it's just the two of them. A little more smack talk occurs. ("You're going to die/No, you're going to die" It's all very highbrow stuff) Once the prompt appears Kratos starts to wail on Poseidon, each hit being witnessed from Poseidon's point of view. It's a fantastic display of the brutal force that Kratos has become during his adventure plus an excellent way to start off the closing chapter of his assault on the Greek Gods. After a POV double eye gouge, Poseidon's broken body is cast over the cliff, landing in the ocean and creating a flood that seemingly engulfs the world. (Curious how they explain that In the new God of War)

• Erich Soders - HITMAN
  

You don't really get boss fights in Hitman. In fact, targets are more like puzzles. But in the interest of the topic, I'm  considering 2016s HITMAN a boss rush/puzzle murder spree in which Erich Soders is a shiny example of excellence. He's lying on a super high-tech operation table waiting for some advanced (and slightly shady) medical procedures. He can't run away if alerted (medically induced comas have that side effect) but he does have a freaking legion of suited goons that will mow you down at the slightest sign of barcoded assassin.

Soders is set up as the guy who has betrayed you and the Agency you work for. (Which is dumb. You and the Agency you work for are highly trained assassins) There he lies on his hospital bed, doctors moving in and out, security patrolling the corridors and guarding the doorways. You start off disguised as a patient, awaiting treatment. There are various options you can pursue. For instance, the whole hospital is run by a Hal 9000-esque A.I. called K.A.I. It does everything from page staff to operate the medical equipment. (Did Terminator teach us nothing?)
My favourite way to take Soders out is by manipulating K.A.I. to do the job for me. Breaking into his core and turning off his safety parameters should do the trick. Cool, now rather handily across from his core are the controls for the robotic arms above the operating table. After some liberal use of your fat assassin hands on a Star Trek touchscreen console, the arms will viciously "operate" on Soders until he is the appropriate level of dead. For me, the best contracts in the game are the ones you don't actually have to go near. You can flaunt your assassin skills without even entering the room.
It's no trip to the Moon or god getting their head panned in. No. You're right. I just really like robots.