LIST - Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. Sometimes the hero needs backup and shouldn't feel ashamed for asking for it. Especially if the backup comes in the form of any of these fine individuals.

• Wrench - Watch_Dogs 2
  

I talked about him in the Watch Dogs 2 review because for me he was such an asset to the game as a whole. Possibly the best of all the DedSec kids was Wrench. He cracked wise. He built robots and modified your car with nitrous. He constantly wore a mask that displayed emoticons to show how he was feeling and rocked about in a studded leather coat. While this would make him seem like an antisocial douchebag, he is far from it. The tight-knit DedSec group is, at times, held together by his fierce loyalty and desire to work together to fight for what is right. He has your back in every fight and is willing to get roughed up by Federal agents at one point to protect your whereabouts.

There is one scene in the game where I think Wrench shines. You're meeting him at a cafe to start a mission. While talking to him it's apparent he is trying to get the waitresses attention while simultaneously not wanting to catch her eye. You, as Marcus, notice this and question him about it. He explains that he likes her but doesn't know if she keeps staring at him because she likes him back or if she thinks he's weird. You finish your conversation and are about to leave when you turn to the waitress and ask her if she thinks Wrench is weird. She says she does but is kind of into it. Wrench's reaction is priceless and as you leave they sit down together and start talking. I loved this exchange because it gave Wrench another side that hadn't been shown before that point. Despite his tough looking exterior and sometimes abrasive humour, he is just in need of a friend. 

I thought it was a refreshing change from the one dimensional "tough guy" characters that seem to appear for us to be "wow, they so cool!". He felt like an actual person you would know and could relate to.  

• Weighted Companion Cube - Portal
  

The Aperture Science labs can be hostile. (Which is a mild way to put it) You have no friends. The only voice you can hear is cold and analytical. You are alone. Then it happens. You enter a new Test Chamber and Weighted Companion Cube is sitting there, waiting for you. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a voice to express the joy of meeting you but it does have a big heart on each side so there's that I suppose.

Companion Cube comes to you at your most desperate hour. There is science in these chambers that one person alone can't solve. It is up to the two of you to form the strongest of bonds and depress some giant red buttons together. Only then will you discover the truest friendship in video gaming history. Portals and turrets and doors and switches are nothing compared to the righteous partnership of you and Weighted Companion Cube. Science is at your mercy. Now there's just one more door. One more switch. It's time to part ways. It's fine though, all you have to do is carry Cube over to the... eh... "Emergency Intelligence Incinerator". Without a second thought you drop WCC in, the hatch closes and the door opens. Congratulations.

You monster.

• Ashley Graham (Armoured) - Resident Evil 4
  

Wait wait. I know. She's a needy, whiney little shit for the most part. In need of constant saving from being carried off by villagers, cultists, spiky hell monsters, the list goes on. (Something that causes Game Over if not dealt with quickly enough) Every scene she's with you gets turned into an escort mission. (And we love them I know) So what is she doing on a list of companions that are invaluable?

Easy. When equipped with the armour that you can see to your right she not only becomes invincible, she can't be carried off by afore mentioned nasties. I know this is a hell of a caveat to get someone on this list, especially considering she is arguably one of gamings most annoying companions. (Hmm, new list idea right there) Also, the armour is an unlockable item so you can't just stick her in it from the get go. It is a massive game changer though, making later levels a lot more manageable on higher difficulties. You no longer have to desperately scan the room every time you hear "Help! LEON!" and catch a glimpse of her slung over a captors shoulder like a bag of blonde potatoes. Every enemy that tries to pick her up collapses under the weight of her, attacks bounce off her. She essentially becomes invaluable due to her new ability to be completely disregarded while you fight a room full of pitchfork wielding bumpkins.

Strangely enough, she was my inspiration for this entire list. I'm as confused as you.

• Miles "Tails" Prower - Sonic the Hedgehog
  

Sonic, for the most part, can handle himself pretty well. He runs about jumping on springs and Badniks, collecting rings and beating Robotnik. Sounds like a simple enough life. Sometimes he needs a hand. That comes in the form of Tails, twin-tailed fox and pilot extraordinaire. While initially just a way for two people to play Sonic 2 at once, Tails piloting skills are invaluable in the Sky Chase Zone level where they fly towards Robotnik and his Wing Fortress.

Sonic 3 has Tails' ability to fly using his tails upgraded. This means when playing as him there are areas that only he can reach, containing bonus rings, lives and shields. If two player is enabled Sonic can jump and grab hold of Tails' hands, allowing him to reach these inaccessible areas too. (And who doesn't want more rings?) You don't see Daxter providing that kind of support to Jak. The other example of a sidekick being that useful is Clank from the Ratchet and Clank series.

Regardless of your opinion of Tails as a person (fox), it can't be denied that without him Sonic would have had a hard time fighting Robotnik in the early years of the franchise.

• Issun - Okami
  

Issun is a lazy, pervy little travelling artist who mooches off the kindness and patience of Amaterasu, goddess of the sun in the form of a white wolf. Coming in at around an inch tall, he is by far the smallest companion on the list. Now what I've described so far isn't exactly what you would consider "best sidekick" material. For all of Issun's faults, however, he has a heart of gold and grows throughout the events of Okami (as a person, not in height) in a way that few have in anything I've played.

While Amaterasu (or "Ammy" as he calls her) is more than capable of defending herself (being a god and all), Issun provides much-needed support in the form of his Celestial Brush techniques. With these, he can put ink to paper and use it to slash enemies, revitalise dead trees (which is a bigger deal than you might imagine) and manipulate fire and water to help Ammy save the land of Nippon from the eight-headed dragon, Orochi, and his army of demons. He develops from a self-centered free-loader to someone who would lay down his life to save the world. (And the 60+ hour journey in between is pretty awesome too)

The closing act of the games shows a completely different Issun as the one you start with. Some of the events in Okami are the best I've played in a game and while the game itself is good enough to recommend to you, the inclusion of Issun makes it pretty unforgettable. (It's available for PS2, PS3 and the Wii. If you have an opportunity to play it please do)

• Ellie - The Last of Us
  

When the majority of the world's population has been wiped out by a mysterious fungal infection that turns people into murderous mushroom zombies, life is going to become pretty tough. Now imagine you're immune to that infection. Happy days. Looks like everything is going to be alright for Ellie here. Or not. One group wants her to develop a cure and don't mind how violent they have to be to get her, another group act pretty much the same. Oh, then there are the bandits who would probably do worse for the sake of being aggressive arseholes and the aforementioned 'shroom zombos. Suddenly the world is back to being shit. Just as well you have Joel to look after you. A man who lost his daughter at the start of this outbreak. (In one of many scenes in this game that made me feel feelings) Of course, this is a list of how the companion is awesome, not the protagonist. (Sorry Joel)

Ellie is as tough as they come, having experienced her own share of heartbreak as a result of the outbreak. She doesn't take shit from anyone, is capable of taking down fully grown adults (when pushed) and adapts to the various fucked up situations she finds herself in quickly. My favourite part of the game is when you play as her when Joel is out of commission, leading to some of the best story relating to trust and companionship that is rarely dealt with so well in games. There are some beautiful scenes between Joel and Ellie and throughout the game, the relationship (which starts off as prickly as it can get) becomes very much a father/daughter dynamic. This culminates in one of the best endings I've ever seen and to this day, 4 years later, I haven't been blown away nearly as much as The Last of Us got me. (Again, I felt feelings)

Hopefully aside from displaying some of the best company you could hope for while you travel any given video game, this list has encouraged you to play some of the amazing games the characters are from. May you find a companion that helps you through the game of life. Kisses.

LIST - Who Needs Hearts When You've Got Smarts

A few of these entries were originally on my "Top Villains" list. Then I realised they needed a special list all to themselves so I could include the, eh, less evil machines in games. (Maybe not "evil", more "socially ambiguous")

• Dr Nefarious - Ratchet & Clank

  

  I always hated biology!

Maybe the obvious choice would have been Clank. He is one of the titular heroes of the franchise. Dr Nefarious has many superior qualities over Clack lacks, however.

1. He steals every scene he's in. 
2. He has a flair for the dramatic verging on insane. 
3. He has a long-suffering butler called Lawrence. 
4. When he becomes too stressed he short circuits and starts broadcasting a romantic radio drama. 
5. Possibly best of all, he's voiced by Armin Shimerman. (Principle Snyder from Buffy and Quark from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

Nefarious hates organic life or "squishies" as he calls them. (A theme for a lot of these characters on the list will be the derogatory terms they have for people) Generally, his plans revolve around destroying solar systems or converting living creatures into robots. (He and Robotnik should get together sometime) His recent reboot in the new Ratchet & Clank game/movie shows you his origins from before he becomes a robot. (Look up the post credit scene for the movie, probably the best 3 mins of the whole thing) There his motivation for planetary destruction comes from being bullied by the would-be hero, Captain Quark.

I always enjoy the Ratchet & Clank series for its imaginative weaponry and "Saturday morning cartoon" style of humour. Dr Nefarious entered as the perfect recurring villain with his over-the-top plans for planetary destruction. While, given his back story, it would be easy to sympathise with him, Nefarious goes out of his way to be the least likeable person in any given room. Probably why I like him so much.

• HK-47 - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

  

  I am like a veritable fable, warning
  against the karma caused by
  murdering others. What utter irony.

Statement: HK-47 is the deadliest robot on this list. The Star Wars universe has a fair few droids at its disposal. C-3PO, R2-D2, BB-8 and IG-88 to name the bare minimum. None of them compares to HK-47 though. Built from scratch by a Sith Lord with the sole purpose of killing Jedi elevates you somewhat from the crowd. While being an artificial intelligence, it's clear HK has no qualms about his base programming. Even going as far as reprimanding you, as the player, for sparing a life or doing a good deed.

Explanation: One of HK-47s various quirks lies in the way he speaks. Before every sentence, he states the nature of the statement whether it be a question, explanation or opinion.(Usually with a mocking tone depending on your actions) While you would think having a sarcastic robot with a thirst for blood by your side would possibly lead to some awkward situations (and it does), HK is one of the most honest, loyal companions you have when navigating the dangers of space. Depending on how you play KOTOR (Light side or Dark side) doesn't really do much to change his attitude towards you or other "meatbags" however his loyalty to you is seemingly unbreakable, even being forced to call you "Master". (Though it does turn out he has relieved himself of previous "masters")

Opinion: KOTOR is two of the best (possibly nostalgia talking) RPGs I've played. Starting off you are lumped in with some pretty generic characters, some of whom open up and become much more interesting as the story goes on. (Depending on Light or Dark) HK-47  instantly shines, however. He speaks his mind, has little regard for others and sees the universe in a simple "target/non-target" way. He's not bad, he's just built that way.

• GLaDOS - Portal

  

  We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested
  me, I tested you. You killed me, I...oh,
  no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you
  yet. Well. Food for thought.

GLaDOS or Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System has possibly the clearest of visions on this list. She's only motivated by one thing: Science! Is there anything purer? No. Built by Aperture Science as an artificial housing for the mind of Aperture's CEO, Cave Johnson, beyond his death. He died shortly before the completion of the project and the mind of his assistant, Caroline, was used instead. (Not sure it was willing given most of Aperture Sciences working practises)

Your first encounter with GLaDOS is over the speaker systems of the Enrichment Centre. At first, everything is normal. Place box on switch, open door, redirect laser, open door, use complex series of portals to place box on switch and redirect lasers, open door. Just your usual standardised testing. She's even pretty supportive, a little critical but supportive. As you progress through the tests you are reassured that at the end you will be rewarded with some delicious cake. (That's the only time I'll mention it, honest) Unfortunately, this turns out to be untrue. Once you reach the conclusion of the final test you board the Unstationary Scaffold and watch in increasing horror as you are descended into an Incinerator Room. GLaDOS does assure you that none of the scientific equipment you're carrying will be harmed by the high temperatures. (Whew)

Portal could have just been an interesting tech demo showcasing Valves mastery of physics and level design. The robotic voice you have guiding you throughout the game could have been just that and while we would have wowed at the intricacies of some of the puzzle ideas there would have been very little reason to go back to it. GLaDOS makes Portal. Thinking with portals is cool but unless you have the cold, analytical (and hilarious) criticism she is so very good at urging you on there would be no incentive to even finish the game, let alone play a sequel. So play them if you haven't already. For Science. (And Cake) (I lied)

• CL4P-TP - Borderlands

  

  Aaaaaaaand opeeeen!

This guy. This complete asshat. He is the most annoying, useless, idiotic, sad piece of scrap robotics you'll ever meet. Too harsh? Not if you've talked to him for more than a sentence. Created by Hyperion (a whole company of asshats) as a steward of sorts, his main function is to help Vault Hunters navigate Pandora in search of Vaults and the treasure said to lie within. Claptrap is (supposedly) the last of his series. The rest of his brethren having been systematically destroyed for being one of the words used at the start of the paragraph. You would think that would upset him, and it does greatly. Unfortunately, he's programmed to speak in nothing but an upbeat, optimistic tone so you'd never know his great sorrow unless he told you. (Which he does. A lot.)

Getting off the bus at the start of Borderlands you are greeted by this cheery little guy. Little do you know the kind of cowardice, stupidity and betrayal he will demonstrate in your time with him. Beset by bandits, he asks you to protect him as he runs for cover. At various points in the game Claptrap will sell you out to save his own skin (eh, metal) only to come scurrying back when all his backup is dead. His programming gets overwritten at the very end by Hyperion and becomes I.N.A.C. (Interplanetary Ninja Assassin Claptrap) for a short period of time. Technically this makes him a bit of a badass, restarting production on CL4P-TP units and raising a glorious "robolution". His base programming eventually wins out, however, reverting him back to the snivelling little rust bucket you know and hate. (It's literally the only fight he wins and it's against himself)

I have been pretty harsh. CL4P-TP does open doors that are otherwise game-haltingly locked. He does this a fair few times. He is the equivalent to a door knob. Claptrap is a door knob. Claptrap is a knob. Yup.

• Legion - Mass Effect

  

  Organics fear us. We wish to understand,
  not incite.

A bit of flavour text: The Geth are a race of A.I. constructs, created as menial labour by another race called quarians. Having turned on their creators after realising their existence was tantamount to slavery, the Geth became enslaved by Reapers. They don't really catch a break. (Technical talk over, sorry) Legion is met with hostility by most of the other characters in Mass Effect. At an initial glance, he's just another Geth unit, making people understandably intimidated. (Plus being 6'6")   Initially thought to be another hostile unit you open fire at Legion until you realise the shots he's firing at you are taking out the enemy sneaking up behind you. (lol tropes)

Officially the only "good" robot on the list. Ironic considering you spend most of Mass Effect blasting his kind back to the digital stone-age. Legion is a collective of A.I. constructs in one body. (1,183 Geth programs to be exact) Considering the average Geth unit has only 100 this is considered a bit of an anomaly by everyone who meets him, her... it? His mission has been to follow in your footsteps and try to break the hold the Reapers (giant evil robot space lice) has on the Geth. Depending on how you play this can go a variety of ways. (Some of these ways may even bring a tear to a synthetic eye) He isn't your regular unfeeling robot. Legion asks questions most people would rather not answer. He raises the issue of having a soul despite knowing he was created by another race. What is a soul? (Eh, too deep, pull back)

Once I got Legion I basically kept him at my side for the rest of the games. While having the intelligence of the entire Geth collective he constantly asks questions to do with morality and existence that results in some interesting dialogue depending on who else you travel with. It's fun, honest. Who wouldn't want a tall, would-be murder-bot quizzing you on every choice you make and why? YAY SPACE!

• Clockwerk - Sly Raccoon

  

  Revenge is the prime ingredient in the fountain of
    youth. I've kept myself alive for thousands of years
   with a steady diet of jealousy and hate, awaiting the
   day when I would finally eclipse your family's thieving
   reputation.

Murderer! Thief! Madma... bird! These are things that Clockwerk is but you would be incredibly stupid to say these things to his beak. He has earned those titles through a history of jealousy and hate for the Cooper Clan that has spanned thousands of years. Slowly but surely replacing each part of himself with a robotic substitute in order to pursue his goal of surpassing the Coopers and becoming the world's greatest thief.

Originally from what would eventually be known as Russia (considering he's around 10,000 years old it's a little unclear), Clockwerk brings together various other nasty folks to form the Fiendish Five. Together they take down Conner Cooper and steal the Thievius Raccoonus. (A book of tips and tricks to becoming a master thief) With this, he and his gang hold the world to ransom. While never directly interacting with his cohorts he supplied them with advanced technology and makes sure that the pieces of the book stay in their sticky fingers. It's clear from the moment you meet him face to face he sees emotions as a weakness which he has stripped from himself. He's so super-villainy he even has his lair in an active volcano and has a penchant for the dramatic by kidnapping Sly Cooper's love interest, Carmelita Fox, to lure Sly to his doom.

The best kind of Big Bad is the behind-the-scenes, mysterious mastermind kind. (In my opinion, and you're reading this so you must be kinda interested in that) Clockwerk has all the characteristics of the owl he used to be; he waits for his prey to let his guard down then strikes fast. When he hunts, he does so solo. He has 360 vision and laser eyes. (Like all owls, why are you looking at me weird?) While in the end, it was his hubris that was his downfall, it's pretty impressive that over thousands of years Clockwerk managed to replace every living part of himself and gain immortality without opposable thumbs.

Well, assuming Skynet isn't about to activate let's hope we're still a few years away from actually encountering some of these guys. ALL HAIL OUR ROBOTIC OVERLORDS! Eh, I mean, have a great day guys!